Reflection

Ooh la la, it's the six month anniversary of the day the boy proposed. Does that count for presents? It certainly doesn't count for dinner; I had a tough workout with the trainer tonight and I came home and made black bean quesadilla's on low carb tortillas. Not exactly gourmet. But that's part of my charm, right? ;)

Trainer tonight was good, he weighed me and took my measurements and I'm down almost exactly 20 lbs from when I started with him at the end of December. On the one hand it's kind of sad that it's taken me that long to lose 20 lbs, but on the other hand I'm excited that I've been sticking with it this long and I'm really starting to see progress. Now if I could just lose another 20 before the wedding. Not possible I know, but I'm going to keep trying. I could tell the trainer was pretty excited about it all. I'm his project.

So I'm trying to get back to doing my two-a-days this week, and usually on my morning high intensity days (before weights in the evening) I was doing treadmill intervals. I'd do 3 minutes at about 5, then push it up to 6.8 for a minute, then back down, etc. Now that we're in our new house I don't have access to a treadmill in the morning, and I'm not going to the gym to do just a quick 20 minutes of cardio when it's so nice out, so this morning I had to improvise. I jogged down to the elementary school a few blocks away and ran sprints on the outdoor basketball court.

What? What what what? I ran sprints on the basketball court and no one even told me to? Who am I? Some sort of dedicated athlete? I may not look the part yet, but I certainly feel it. On the way home I sort of felt like I was in a N1ke commercial and I just couldn't get over the things I'm now doing. It's insane when it goes like this. Especially considering I went to see Death Cab last night, (they put on an amazing show by the way) and I wasn't in bed even close to my normal hour. And I had three beers. Not on the plan I know, but it's okay. I'm some sort of fitness demon right now. I still sort of wish I could be magically skinny when I'm in the zone like this, but I guess it just takes time. Lots and lots of time.

On a different note, I heard from an old high school friend via MySpace the other day. It was pretty weird and I'm still getting used to the idea of talking with her. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing from old friends. It's just that I guess she just reminds me of a person I used to be, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be disappointed with the person I've become today if I could have seen the future. I mean, I'm happy, in love, getting married and have a great life. But I used to be so independent, and creative, and action oriented. Now I'm a little more complacent about things. I have a desk job in the corporate world. I shop at Hom3 Depot and eat tuna sandwiches for lunch. I guess I think I'm just kind of boring now. And fat.

I've always been overweight, and now I probably weigh less than I did the last time I saw her (sometime in college). And the kicker is, she probably weighs about 300 lbs. It's not how she sees me though, it's how I see myself. And while I never liked anything about myself in high school, I look back and I liked my sense of purpose, my drive, and my desire. I still have those qualities and like them about myself, but they've been channeled in different directions. At the end of the day I think I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but it's always strange to be reminded of the past. I suppose a little reflection can't hurt, can it?