Weigh In

Well I don't know how I did it after my atrocious weekend, but I lost 1.2 lbs this week! Woo! I'm so happy to see losses two weeks in a row - I think this is one of the first times this year I've been able to do that. I'm so happy, I feel like I'm finally on the way to getting in the groove.

And speaking of losing weight - The Biggest Loser last night - holy crap! Ali looks amazing. I mean it is incredible. She is totally buff. And I think it's so nice to see a woman win the whole thing. And I was so glad Allison Sweeney called Mark out for being such a crybaby. Somebody needed to say it. I saw Jillian and Ali this morning on the Today Show and she said towards the end, they were sometimes working out 10 hours a day. 10 freaking hours. Are you kidding me? Obviously that kind of weight loss that fast is not a piece of cake, but regardless I think it's always nice to see someone change their life like that.

Kind of made me think my boot camp pain is a drop in the bucket. This week at boot camp has been just as tough as last week. Last night we started with stair running, then came back inside to do 200 push ups. Lovely. After that it was a circuit and I am feeling it in my chest, abs and back today. Wow.

I also had a kind of "woe is me" moment last night because there were quite a few people absent last night, including some of the slower folks, so I was bringing up the rear all night long. That was fine, I still thought I was doing my best, but at one point in the night the instructor said "One of you is slacking, and I doubt you'll be back tomorrow, and I think you know who you are."

Well I plan on being back tomorrow, even though I am struggling more than a lot of other people, so really, rationally, I don't think he was calling me out. But automatically my brain goes - OMG, he thinks I suck. He hates me. I'm the worst. I suck. Why am I even attempting to do this with all of these really fit people? And on and on and on. It's just that old feeling coming back, and I hate it. I couldn't stop thinking about it all night. Was he talking about me?

Well even if he was, I'm going back tonight and I'm going to kick as much ass as humanly possible. I may not be able to run as fast as most people, and I may not be able to do as many pushups or hop ups or whatever else he makes us do, but I'm going back and I'm going to effing try. Dammit. If Ali can do it, I can do it.

Tonight is girl's dinner after boot camp, which means I can't control what I'm served for dinner, but I'm hoping there will be a salad and I might bring a Luna bar to sneak in case it's all pasta or something. I'm trying to control my carbs a little more and I think that's really been helping in terms of the weight loss, so I want to keep that going if possible. Have a great day everyone!