Holla

I'm back and I'm considering this day 2. Yesterday I finally got back on the wagon. And actually, I sort of slapped the wagon in the face. But looking back on it, I guess I sort of did ease myself back in. It's like I tip toed up to the ledge, but then once I got there I just fucking jumped. You know?

So as of yesterday, I pretty much cut out all sugar and anything refined. I'm chillin with the chicken and the eggs and the veggies and the water and trying to get all the crap out of my system. And I'm okay with it and I'm feeling good and I'm actually happy. Which is sort of a miracle. I'm sort of terrified about getting through the next two months without gaining any weight, so instead my plan is to go the opposite way. That's right, I plan to lose weight over this holiday season, and lose a fairly significant amount. I'm going for at least 12 lbs for January 1. This will put me firmly in the 160's for the new year.

In year's past I've lost weight during the year, sometimes all the way up until October, and then proceeded to gain most of it back during November and December. But not this year. I don't want my grandpa secretly watching how much pie I take at Thanksgiving dinner. I don't want the family Christmas pictures to make me cringe. I don't want to feel sick on the drive back home from Texas because I just stuffed my face with a food from a fast food chain I abhor.

I will plan. I will focus. I will work out and I will eat right and I will kick these upcoming holiday's right in the ass. I turn 27 two days after Christmas and I will not let this next year be another one where I gain and lose weight over and over again.

In other news, the boy went to China for work, so now I'm a lonely newlywed. I miss him more than I usually do when he's gone; I guess it's the newness of the whole marriage thing. I'm trying to use this time to cook and work out and like I said, generally dive back in hardcore, but I just miss him. He's my support system, he's watched me do this about a million times and he's never negative about it. He's always rooting me on and I guess sometimes I don't realize how important it is to have that support behind me. The good news is, my sister is taking the plunge with me, so at least I have her to talk to about the whole weight loss thing while the boy is out of town. And you guys of course!

I'm doing this right now; I really am.