Seventeen Weeks

Okay I'm not going to give up here. I just can't. But I AM starting a new project - details will follow soon, but I'm keeping it under wraps while I get it up and running. While I've been working on that though, it's made me realize that I do like writing here about my weight and about my fitness. It's GOOD, really good, for me to have this outlet. Because I want to talk about things!

For instance, I know this is way old news, but I really, really miss Jillian's radio show.

And, I'm really excited for the Biggest Loser to come back.

And, this is not really weight loss/fitness related, but what the hell was Heidi thinking with that performance during Miss Universe. Child please.

So let's see, what else? I weighed 176.6 this morning. Shocker. I have pretty much weighed between 175-180 for the entirety of 2009. Looking back at my records, I was at 171 for a week in January, probably when I was hitting South Beach Phase 1 pretty hard, but that obviously didn't last. Clearly my body is happy at this weight. I believe it's called a set point, right? It's a place where I'm just happy to settle.

Well I think I don't want to settle here any more. I'd really like to just push through and lose this last 15 lbs. You know it's funny, for so long, I think forever really, I've had this goal weight of 140. I think I got it from WW weight range charts or something way back when. But honestly, I don't think that's realistic for me right now. But 160 definitely is. It's so close. I mean it is so close. But so far away.

I've mentioned before that I have this weird barrier with getting below 170. Every time I'm successful losing weight, that is the point at which something clicks, and I just kind of quit trying. I get comfortable. And I bump up a couple five pounds, and then suddenly I'm back at this set point.

I think it's really time for me to get past that though. I'm going to Mexico in 17 weeks, on Dec. 17, and I really want to be at 160 for that trip. That works out to roughly 1 lb a week if I start today. That should be so do-able right? I'm not trying to rock a bikini. I'm not trying to be a supermodel. I'm just trying to set a goal and stick to it the best way I know how.

So right now, as of today, I am seriously off to the races. I'm going to be cutting way back on my wine and sugar intake. These "discretionary" calories are killing me, especially on weekends! And I think they are contributing to my continual psoriasis/arthritis flare-ups. I'm also going to take Self's advice and shoot for 350 min. of exercise a week. That is a LOT of exercise but I think I can handle it. 60 minutes x 5 days a week is 300. So I just need to up it to six days or try to do an extra ten minutes of cardio each day and I'll be there.

So here I go, I am back, and back with a vengeance! 160's here I come!

Rockin' and Rollin' and What Not

Well, it's Day 3 and I'm feeling like blogging about what's going on with me is helping, so I'm just going to keep it up. I don't know how many people are even still out there reading, but I guess this is mostly just for me anyway. If you are out there, hi! 

Today I'm up early, for me anyway, mostly because I woke up about five times last night itching my hands like crazy. My hands are both swollen, itchy, and if this is anything like the last ten years, some of my fingers will probably swell so much they crack, and in other places I'll scratch the skin right off of my hands, usually while I'm asleep. I know it sounds gross but it isn't that bad, I'm not skinless or anything. This is just another product of my psoriasis, which I've had since I was 18. Since I have psoriatic arthritis too I'm on an injection that is supposed to help both, but every once in a while I get flare-ups like this. It usually happens when I've been traveling, when the weather gets hot, or when I'm too hot when I sleep. I have no idea why, maybe dehydration, but I hate it. Itching is the worst. It drives me absolutely insane. 

Anyway, so there's that to deal with, but other than that I am feeling good. I made some amazing choices at dinner, and while I did have two bites of chocolate cake and two chocolate covered strawberries, I am absolutely fine with that. Because people, look at the things I encountered, but did NOT eat yesterday.

tortilla chips

chilled queso

cheesecake bites

warm Italian bread

wine

three types of pasta

gelato

I mean really? Really? That is a lot of delicious food that I did not eat. But I woke up this morning feeling springy (springy? yes I just used springy) instead of with a massive food hangover, and that feels great. 

After dinner last night I came home to find that my DVR was not recording the Biggest Loser season finale, and I was pissed, but come to find out the show was on for three freaking hours, so I got to see the last hour. I wish I would have gotten to see more of the transformations, but I'm glad I saw the final three anyway. I'm actually kind of bummed Helen won, I thought it kind of sucked that she stayed and let her daughter go home. But hopefully they worked that out between the two of them and there won't be any resentment or anything like that. And hopefully the money will go toward something positive. Tara looked amazing of course, she is hot. And Mike, he's so cute. But I have to say he looked totally uncomfortable in his hipster pants. I don't think he was quite ready for that. 

Jillian and Helen are supposed to be on the Today Show this morning, so I'm hoping they come on before I leave for kickboxing. I just love Jillian. 

Aight, that's it for me. Have a wonderful day! 

Day 1 and 2. Hanging In

I had a good day yesterday. I mean, I finally felt like I was in control of my impulses and I was able to make good choices. And I was rewarded with a three pound loss this morning, which I know of course is all the water weight and bloat I was experiencing. I ate vegetables. I ate lean protein and healthy fats. I went to kickboxing and I drank tea after dinner instead of eating ice cream. 

And today, even though it's my sister's birthday and I ate out for lunch and will eat out again for dinner, I'm still in control. I had a salad at lunch and skipped the chips. I have a plan for dinner even though we're eating Italian, which I know will be difficult for me. I do love the pasta. But I know that's not what I need right now. We're eating at a "family-style" place, meaning HUGE HUGE portions of food and we all have to figure out something to agree on, but I'm just going to make sure I fill up on as much salad as I can, and then watch my portion of anything else we choose. I will be mindful of my fullness level and I'll stop when I'm full, not when I'm stuffed. 

I think these early days are both so easy and so hard. On the one hand I feel great because I've recommitted to getting some weight off. I have goals in mind and I know what I need to do to achieve them. But the sugar cravings are there. My stomach is clearly stretched out because I'm hungry, neigh starving, even though I know I'm eating plenty. I have to constantly remind myself not to open up the pantry and grab some chips or some crackers or what have you. 

So yeah, I'm doing well right now, but I know the road is going to be hard. My first big test will be this weekend. On Saturday I'm hosting my sister's engagement party, and there will be lots of stress, but lots of merriment and lots of friends eating and drinking copious amounts. So there's that. And that will be hard. BUT I'm just going to do the best I can and try to think about WHY I'm making the choices I'm making and know that in the end, although sometimes it sucks to eat broccoli and drink water instead of wine, this is worth it for me right now. 

In other news, I also found a yoga studio in my neighborhood and called them this morning about classes. I was doing yoga quite a bit in Singapore and haven't done it at all since I've been back, and I'm really missing it. My hips are bothering me, probably from all the kickboxing I've been doing, and I know getting back into yoga will help that. I was also listening to Jillian Michael's radio show the other day and she was talking about the benefits of investing in massage, and I decided I'm going to take that to heart and schedule an appointment. Yes it's expensive and it feels like an indulgence with the crappy economy, but it's an investment in my health and I think I deserve it. 

I guess that's it for today. Gotta go get ready for dinner. Thanks for listening to my whining all the time. :) 

Random Blah Blah

I have been having trouble getting motivated to write. So instead of something coherent I guess I'll just word vomit and see if anything interesting comes up. 

Yesterday I went to everyone's favorite health store and spent my whole non-existent paycheck. Ridiculous, but I hadn't been grocery shopping in a while and I've committed to locking myself in my house and eating every meal at home save a lunch date on Friday. The boy is out of town this week for a conference, so it's pretty easy for me to eat whatever I want and not have to worry about making extra for him. Typically he eats what I eat, but I always make an extra carb or side dish for him (risotto, tortillas for tacos, that kind of thing) so not having to do that is kind of fun. Actually, if I'm being honest, I haven't really cooked anything for myself. Last night for dinner I had a turkey sandwich. But I have PLANS to cook. And that's what counts. 

Anyway, while I was at Wh0le F00ds I purchased a new sweetener that I am now attempting to enjoy in my coffee. It's called XyloSweet, an all natural Xylitol sweetener. Since I'm obsessed with Jillian Michaels and have heard her recommend this on her podcast a couple of times, I decided to give it a shot. I've eliminated most artificial sweeteners from my diet, I'm off diet soda and try not to buy too much sugar free stuff (although I'm still sort of addicted to SF pudding, but I'm working on that). However, this means that lately in my coffee, I've just been using full sugar, full fat creamer and I'm here to tell you this was not a good idea. Aside from the fact that is full of crap and the calories can add up quickly, it was so sweet and delicious in the morning it was giving me cravings all day. So, I'm hopeful that trying XyloSweet will nip that in the bud and also help me get rid of cravings. 

Now I know you're probably thinking, "but aren't you just replacing one artificial sweetener with another?" And I was thinking that too, but apparently this stuff is all natural, not bleached and processed within and inch of it's life like Splenda (which I still like) and Aspartame. I don't know, I haven't done loads of research on it yet and I can't debate the merits per se, but it tastes ok in my coffee so I'm going to give it a shot. I did learn that it is toxic to dogs, so I'll be keeping it away from the dogger. 

Oh yeah I also got some Jay Robb protein powder for smoothies and man, that stuff is good. I made one yesterday with chocolate protein powder, water, and almond butter and it was freaking delish. I have been having trouble figuring out how/what to eat on Mondays when I go to kickboxing from 6:30-7:30, which is during my normal dinner hour. So yesterday I made the protein shake around 5 as a pre-workout meal, then came home and had a small turkey sandwich around 8. This seemed to work well, I was properly fueled for my workout and I think I got the right nutrients I needed afterward too.

Today I'm going to make some veggie chili around lunchtime to have for the rest of the week, and I'm going to hit the Camp24 class at 4:30. I'm thinking about staying for step afterward, I've seen some people who do that, but for some reason I'm terribly afraid of taking a step class. What if I trip over the step and fall on my face? What if I sprain my ankle? What if my thong hangs out? We'll see. 

Dinner is going to consist of leftover chicken salad and tomato soup. I guess it's a good thing it snowed last night and is freezing today, I'll get my soup fix in times two today! 

P.S. I'm watching the View, and why oh why does Lady GaGa not ever wear pants?  

Holy kickboxing! I love that class. Remind me why I haven't been going every week? Oh because I'm too lazy to get out of bed that early? Well no more. I am making a commitment to going every Wednesday. It is incredible. I am totally uncoordinated and just flail about most of the time but still, I love it. And I think I have a little girl crush on the instructor. 

So where the eff was Jillian on BL last night? It felt like she was barely in the episode, and honestly she is the whole reason I watch that show. I like seeing the workouts, the yelling and the screaming. The challenges and the hour-long weigh-ins don't really do it for me. I think they are stretching out the show to be way too long. Come on NBC, don't you have any other programming? I want more info about what they eat, what their workouts are really like, and I want more Jillian. Isn't Alison Sweeney an adorable pregnant person though? Somehow I don't think I'm going to be that adorable when I'm pregnant. 

Today it is finally warming up, which of course means all the snow is melting and there is dirty slush everywhere. I guess the mountains are getting dumped on, which means snowboarding this weekend though! I'm stoked to go, we've barely been up at all this year because of our traveling, but I finally got a helmet and I think that is going to lead to a lot more confidence on my snowboard. Maybe I'll venture on to some more blacks this year. We'll see. 

Still no news on the job front, not one freaking call. I'm giving it until the end of February and then I'm going to start exploring other options. Coffee shop? Retail? The idea of doing retail makes me want to poke my eyes out with a stick, so hopefully someone calls me soon. I guess in the meantime I'll keep doing the housewife thing. ;) 

I'm trying to stay on the South Beach wagon this week, so lunch will be leftover vegetarian chili (recipe from the book, made it for dinner last night) and dinner is out with the girls so I'll probably just order a salad. Oh yeah and I weighed in today, down 1.2 from last week. Still up about 2 lbs from my lowest, but I'm breaking through in February. It's happening baby! 

Klutz-o-rama

Weigh in day - down 1.8 lbs! Woot! I'm happy, really happy given the extravagance of Saturday night. Looking back, one high calorie day isn't so bad. In fact I think it's a good thing to switch it up now and then. Whatever I'm doing, it's working so it is ALL GOOD. No excuses for another crazy night, but I'm just sayin'. 

Today I am a klutz for some reason. This morning I mixed up some Fage Greek yogurt with some frozen blueberries. It turned into this beautiful shining blue bowl of healthy goodness. And as I sat on the couch, distractedly trying to read the Interwebs and eat at the same time, I dumped it all over floor. Blue goo all over the carpet. Yes the housekeeping staff of this lovely service apartment does not love me. I ended up with some hard-boiled eggs. Can't make too much of a mess with those. 

Workout was awesome today. I didn't feel like going, but I went and did a weight circuit, arms, legs, the whole bit, with two minute jogs here and there thrown in to keep the heart rate up. I also downloaded this podcast and added it on the end of my workout. Jillian Michaels I'm obsessed with you. You are a goddess. Major girl crush on Jillian. Don't tell my husband. Luckily when I almost fell on my face during the plank pose there wasn't anyone else in the gym. 

This afternoon, same thing happened as this morning, only this time with my celery and peanut butter snack. I just cannot keep my food on the plate. Or in my mouth. Maybe I should stop trying to multi-task and just focus on eating my food when I'm eating my food. Duh. 

Tonight I'm making a Mexican fiesta. Boy will have burrito(s) and I will have a taco salad. No shell of course. Delish. Let's hope I can get through dinner without ruining the rug.