Check In

Oh man. Well I guess I am on my second day of "getting my shit together, take 1,347,984." It is going well so far, as it usually does during the week. I am feeling good about the fact that I was invited to go out for lunch by a friend and I asked if we could do coffee instead. For me, eating out, even though I usually sometimes make good choices, just typically means more calories in my bod. Not to mention the amount of money it costs!

Anyway, I guess I'm here to check in for myself more than anything else. It is my weigh-in day, and I was at 172 even, so there's that. Not really good or bad yet, just is what it is. Last night I had your classic healthy dinner of salmon and broccoli, with a little risotto thrown in for good measure. Today's meals consist of Ezekial toast w/ almond butter and honey for breakfast and scrambled eggs with spinach and laughing cow cheese for lunch. Not sure what's on tap for dinner yet, although I suspect we'll have turkey burgers or whole wheat pasta. Or maybe black bean soup. That sounds pretty delicious. And Bob challenged me (okay fine everyone who follows him on Twitter) to eat 40 grams of fiber today, so I am definitely going to need some beans to hit that goal.

This morning I went to kickboxing and it was brutal, as usual. I swear I am on the road to death every Wednesday morning. You'd think it would be routine by now but it's not. I guess that's why I love it so much. I ran on the treadmill yesterday and realize running just doesn't make me as happy as kickboxing does. I just find it so monotonous, even when I have good music. I do like listening to my podcasts while I'm incline walking, but I need some beatz when I'm running, ya know?

Hope everyone had a good hump day. I'll holla at ya later.

DC Bound

Hi hi hi! I'm going to make this quick because I'm leaving for the airport in a few minutes, but I wanted to check in before I go. This week - think I should see a loss but I won't be able to weigh in officially on my scale tomorrow because I'll be in D.C. I did weigh in this morning and was down .4, which I know is not very much and still in line with my SLOW losses, but I think by tomorrow maybe it'll be more? Who knows?

Anyway, I'm not worrying too much about what the scale says because I know I have been on track and doing things right and I feel good. This weekend was a little higher calorie, but I've come to accept that is always going to happen because I just eat out more on the weekends and even when you make good choices, there is just always MORE and you can't control things the way you can when you're at home. So yes, even though I chose the grilled fish tacos at the Mexican restaurant, I still had some tortilla chips and a Corona Light. But that is what makes life enjoyable and I am not changing that!

So my trip: I leave for DC tonight! Hooray! I'm so excited to go see some of my old friends from grad school and see my husband, who I haven't seen in what feels like FOREVER. It's only been ten days but man, I miss that boy. My flight leaves at 5:53 so I have packed some homemade trail mix, a kashi pumpkin spice flax bar, and a single serving bag of Oogies popcorn. That will have to be my dinner. I know there are no vegetables anywhere to be found in that mix, but that's just too bad. I'll have to eat my veggies tomorrow.

I feel good about this trip even though traveling is usually a death knell in my weight loss efforts. I know I will have to eat out every meal and I know that will be difficult, but I'm confident that I'm going to make good decisions. Yes there will probably be drinks with friends multiple nights in a row, but I plan to run around the mall and monuments and hit the hotel gym while the boy is working so I think I will be fine. I've been really interested to see how food bloggers like Kath and Jenna do when they're traveling. They make it seem so easy to make good choices, so I'm going to do my best to follow in their footsteps.

I'll probably be tweeting a little about my trip, but if I don't holla at ya while I'm gone I'll see you next week. Have a good one! 

Only Happy Songs

Okay miraculously, I lost .4 lbs this week. I am not happy with that because I am not going to work my butt off 75% of the time just to let it all go to hell 25% of the time and end up with what amounts to maintaining. It is just a waste of freaking time.

Clearly I have some issues to deal with. I am happy, you know? I'm happy, I have a good life. I love my husband, I love my dog. I love my house and my family and my neighborhood. I know that I'm lacking a sense of purpose in my life right now and that is causing me some stress, especially because I'm not sure how or where to find that purpose. I keep thinking I want a job, but the idea of going back to work full time in my field stresses me out. Not that there is anything available at the moment anyway. Then I think I'll go back to school. I'm taking a class right now that I'm really enjoying. But looking at the requirements for admittance and the idea of spending all that money on a phd stresses me out too. Because what if I still can't find my purpose, even after all of that. Part of me just thinks I need to hold out a little longer because something will eventually just HAPPEN, but part of me thinks I need to make things happen. I don't know.  On that part I am just confused.

I just tend to get really introspective, and I think that just increases when the boy is out of town because I spend a lot of time by myself. I think about who I am and what I want and what I would have thought of who I am today when I was 15. But you know, I was kind of an idiot when I was 15 in a lot of ways, so maybe it's okay if I'm not exactly the person I thought I was going to be.

It's just that I have the same struggles, the same struggles about myself, my weight, my purpose in life, what I want to do, who I want to be. It's as if I've gotten nowhere and here it is, I've doubled my life span, yet inside I'm still this angry teenager kicking and screaming and wondering why I am who I am. Why wasn't I born a skinny supermodel? Why don't I have a genius grant? I'm just an ordinary American girl struggling with the same shit as a ton of other people, putting myself in boxes and giving myself labels that I don't really want, and I definitely don't need.

I know my self-worth does not exist entirely in how much I weigh. Nor does it lie in my job description. It's who I am and the choices I make each day, and I am a good person. I care about other people, and I want the world to be a better place. I am sick of putting this crap on myself every day and I'm done listening to sad songs on my iPod. Only happy songs today. Only happy songs.

Weigh In, Body Pump, BL

Okay let's get this over with. Weighed today and I'm down .8, sitting at 173 even. Down 3.6 lbs total over the past three weeks. SO SLOW. I was thinking about it this morning because I was a little annoyed with the scale after such a small loss and I realize that I'm pretty much never happy with my loss. If it's .8, I always want it to be 1. Last week it was 1.6, and I wanted it to be 2. Would I be happy if I was losing 3 pounds every week? I don't know. Maybe I would wish it was 4.

The bottom line is, I need to stop beating myself up over it and be happy with the results I am getting. Yes it's only 3.6 lbs, but I am being consistent, and I need to be proud of that. I have losses three weeks in a row, and that is awesome! I think I am getting anxious over this looming 170 mark because I'm afraid that I'll get there and then I'll just gain again like I have in the past, so I want to bust through it as quickly as possible. I have to accept that it might take another three weeks, or even more, for me to get into the 160's. And that's okay, because in the long run, three weeks is not a big deal. Zen thoughts and deep breaths because I am not going to let myself get worked up over this. Ommmmmmmmmm.

Moving on, I went to my first Body Pump class at the gym this morning and holy lord, I think I am going to be massively sore tomorrow. It's sort of weird because I know I didn't burn a ton of calories and that makes me nervous, but it's a strength class and I definitely burned out my muscles. As I mentioned on twitter this morning, I won't be surprised if I can't lift my arms over my head to blow dry my hair tomorrow morning. (Aside, my updates are protected, but only because I'm paranoid, so please feel free to send me a follow request).

So I know everyone is talking about this already, but I wanted to give my thoughts on the Biggest Loser premiere last night. I have been looking forward to the show for quite some time and for me, it did not disappoint. As you probably know, I love Jillian and think she's great. The screaming was a little intense at times, but I accept that we see about 30 seconds of footage and she's spending hours upon hours with these contestants. She has her methods and I think she's been pretty damn successful, so I like it. I also really liked seeing the workouts - that Jacob's Ladder thing she had Shay on looks a little like a medieval torture machine. I think I'd like to try it.

I'm really glad we don't have family members on together this season, I think it's good to allow people to focus on themselves and not have to worry about their mom/dad/brother/wife/husband etc. I am also really thrilled that Daniel came back and am rooting for him to do well. Of course Abby's story made me cry like a baby and I can already tell I like Rebecca, I think because I can really relate to her "pretty face" comment that she says she gets all the time, although who knows if that will change as the season goes on. I just hope we don't have a lot of backstabbing, game play and crappy people like we have had on season's past. I know I will definitely be looking forward to Tuesday nights. I just think the show is so motivational and it makes me want to improve my life.

That's it for now I think. I hope everyone is having a great Wednesday. Hugs and tears.

Weigh In

Wow I was on such a posting roll and then one silly Labor Day weekend ruined it all. I won't lie, it was a hardcore weekend, and there were some not-so-great moments, but that is life, and for the most part, I did well. You know how I know? Because I weighed in today and was down 1.6! Yay! Oh I would love to see another loss next week because I never get losses three weeks in a row, so I am going to work it as hard as I can. And I want to get the hell out of the 170's. They are my nemesis.

I have to say it feels really good to be on track and doing well. I'm trying not to be too OCD about it all, but it's kind of hard. I get a little reclusive when I'm really focusing on weight loss because I know social events can really throw me off track, so I'm trying not to do that this time around. Why do so many social events revolve around food? And why do I suddenly lose sight of my goals when confronted with chips, salsa and margaritas? I do not know. It's like some kind of wire trips in my brain and I just lose my mind. Maybe I'll read that book The End of Overeating and it will give me some insight. I've heard it's pretty mind-blowing.

Until I figure it out for good, I guess I'll just stick to being mindful of every bite. One day at a time and all. Just keep swimming. Etc. Etc. Etc. :)

Weigh In

Weighed today - down 1.2 lbs since I "re-dedicated myself" last Tuesday, putting me at 175.4 this week.

I dunno, I kind of have mixed feelings about it. Part of me feels like oh, it's my first week back on track, I should be down 3 or 4 lbs, some kind of huge loss, etc. But I guess mostly I'm really happy to see the scale moving down, and know that I'm not having to totally restrict entire food groups or anything like that. I didn't do Phase 1 of South Beach or any other "program." I just counted my calories and upped my exercise and watched the crap intake. Geez, for all the reading and research I do, you'd think this was rocket science.

It's so easy on the surface isn't it? Just eat less and move more. That's what "they" say. Well yes. It's the mental part that makes it so difficult. And when you are so on top of it, doing all the right things and using every ounce of strength you have to not order the fries at the baseball game, then it's just sort of hard not to be disappointed with 1.2 lbs. I need instant gratification! I am American after all. ;)

The 350 min. at the gym thing is still happening. So far this week I've done the following:

Mon: 60 min. kickboxing class

Tuesday: 60 min. boot camp class

Wed: 60 min. kickboxing class + 20 min. incline treadmill walk

That's 200 minutes so far, meaning I have the rest of the week to get in another 150. I'll probably do this athletic training/weights class the gym tomorrow and kickboxing on Saturday, and then add 15 minutes or so to each of those workouts to get to my goal. It is still a LOT of exercise but I like having a goal like that to work toward each week instead of sort of haphazardly going here and there. And I'm probably overdoing the kickboxing, but for right now I really like it and it's a hell of a workout, so I don't really see it being a problem. If it gets old or not hard or boring, then I'll change it up.

I bought stuff to make homemade pizza (whole wheat crust, lots of veggies on top) so we'll have that for dinner tonight. I'm a regular Suzy homemaker right now, (still no job on the horizon) but it is what it is and I'm learning to embrace it. I'll be writing more about that soon. Now I'm off to get my hair did, which will hopefully be a nice self-esteem boost. I love that fresh salon feeling. ;)

Rejection Sucks

I didn't get the job. Second place, again. I guess it came down to me and one other person. Ugh. I know there are a million reasons why it probably wouldn't have been that great of a job anyway, (or as my husband says, it probably would have been "soul crushing") but it still hurts.

And I still feel like a failure. Again.

I found out Monday night, when I got a call from the recruiter. He of course was not helpful at all and had virtually no information about why they chose the other candidate. So I need to call the actual hiring manager and find out if I did something wrong or if it was just my skill set, etc. But I just haven't been able to face it yet. I guess I'll call him this morning.

To top it all off, I weighed in today and I maintained. I'm just kind of feeling crappy all around right now I guess. I'm going to lunch with my mom at the brand new Wh0le F00ds down by her house though, so I guess that will be a treat. And my friend had a healthy baby boy yesterday, so I might get to go visit them in the hospital later this afternoon. That should definitely cheer me up. In the meantime, I'll just pet the dog, go to the gym and try to ward off this funk.

Weigh In

Weigh in today = down .6. What?!? I am P.O.'d! I have had a fabulous week. I have been working out like a mother. I have been downing green smoothies, haven't touched a french fry or a scoop of ice cream or even a beer! What is going on? I should have lost at least 7 or 8 lbs this week! 

Right?

Isn't that the part about losing weight that just sucks? You can work so hard for a full week and only see teeney tiny amounts of progress. But I know, I know, there are a million reasons for it. I'm about to get my period. I'm bloated from soy sauce and miso soup. I'm sore from my workout yesterday so my muscles might be holding water. But still. Still! When you work hard it's nice to see results in terms of the scale going down. And believe me, I could scoot my butt over to the Mexican place down the street for lunch and gain that .6 lbs back in about ten minutes flat. 

Stupid body evolved to hold on to fat in case of a famine. 

You Won't Believe Your Eyes!

OMG. Has anyone seen the cartoon commercial for SlimSh0ts, those little things you drink that look like creamer that supposedly make you lose weight? Well in the commercial, the cartoon lady goes from looking all bloated and round to looking all hourglassy and slim, just by drinking SlimSh0ts! Of course! Why didn't I think of this?!?

I love how at the bottom of the screen it says:

Cartoon dramatization. Results not typical. REAL PEOPLE need diet and exercise to lose fat. 

Hahahahahahaha! So you mean, if we aren't a cartoon, we're actually going to have to eat right and exercise to lose weight? Wow. What a concept. 

I lost 2.4 lbs this week. Just by using SlimSh0ts. No, actually because I'm eating really well I think. Sadly, I attribute a lot of that to the boy being out of town. He's always totally supportive, but I use him as an excuse to eat out, eat crap, etc. So when he's gone it's just all about me - my decisions, my choices. 

I have to say I'm a bit lonely right now, so tonight I'm going to have a few glasses of wine with the girls and catch up on some trashy TV. 3 nights down, 10 to go. Ugh. 

Weigh In and Goals Update

173.8. That's a loss of two pounds since two weeks ago, when I set my goals. I didn't weigh in last week because I'm a slacker and I have no excuse for it. Wasn't a good start to achieving those goals but here I am now and that's what counts right? So let's see, I'm on my way to my 5 lb loss by May 1, so goal #3 is on its way to being met. Woo to the hoo! It is SO nice to see the numbers go down on the scale for once. Maybe it was those Brussels sprouts I had last night? More on those later...

Sorry, I'm totally out of order, so now I'm going back to Goal #1, which was to work out 4-6 times a week. I just got home from kickboxing, which was my third workout this week, and I plan to hit Camp24 tomorrow and snowboard Saturday, so that will make a minimum of five workout this week.  I may even try to run Friday depending on the weather/how I feel because I woke up this morning kind of snotty and icky. I better not be getting sick because I am a pillar of freaking health. A pillar I tell you. 

Anyway. Goal #2 was stay within my calorie range 6 days a week. Eh. I don't think I've been perfect but I'm doing what I can. I'm still struggling with my alcohol intake on weekends. I swear it's just a couple of glasses of wine at a baby shower (and you KNOW I needed them) and then a couple of glasses that night, okay maybe three, but it just adds up and it's killing me. I haven't been going over by much, but I don't want to be replacing healthy food calories with alcohol calories (i.e. drunkorexic) so I'm just trying to find my balance. During the week I seem to be doing great, so I guess I'll just keep doing the best I can and one of these days I will figure it out. 

Goal #3, we've already been over, and goal #4 was to improve my form in kickboxing. LOL. For real. I am still mostly flailing about, in fact today I had a particularly bad day, but I'm blaming that on the fact that I haven't been sleeping well and I'm not feeling great today. I was just so tired and when I'm tired, I have crappy form. So we'll keep working on that.

Goal #5 was to cook, and I've been doing that! I made veggie chili for lunch yesterday and then last night I made Brussels sprouts. Hmm, how do I say this politely? I don't think I'll be buying them frequently. I roasted them with olive oil and salt and pepper and they looked quite lovely coming out of the pan, but the insides were just a little mushy for me. Maybe I didn't cook them long enough? I don't know, I'm going to try again because I have at least two servings left in my frig, so hopefully next time they will come out better. 

On today's menu:

B: Banana w/ almond butter

L: turkey sandwich, small side salad

S: spicy trail mix

D: leftover veggie chili

I guess that's it for me today. I know this was kind of a a boring post, but it's so good for me to write out updates on my goals like this. Now if I can only keep it up! I hope you all have a wonderful day. :) 

Piece of Cake

Hey! Well I am feeling good about my goals. Everything is in place and honestly, it's nice to just have that out there. I did weigh in yesterday and I was at 175.8. This is a .4 loss from last week. Woo hoo? I dunno, whatever. As I said, my goal is to lose 5 lbs by May 1, but in all honesty, I think that is setting the bar too low. I have a full two months to lose 5 lbs? I know I am a slow loser, but I also want to give myself some motivation, so I'm going to say 8 lbs, putting me squarely in the middle of the upper 160's, which is a place I have never been. So the goal by May 1 is 8 lbs, or 167.8 lbs. This is going to be easy. I am going to do this no problemo.

One thing I do need to do is spend a little more time looking at my calorie allowance. I use Spark People and it says I should be eating 1200-1550, which is a pretty big range, and based on my BMR, I think I should be at about 1400 on days I don't work out in order to create a big enough deficit to lose 1-2 lbs a week. Usually I'm good with sticking right around this, but sometimes I think I might need a little more food, especially on days where I'm burning major calories. Sure it'd be nice to create a monstrous deficit on those days, but if I don't give my body enough food, it's sure to end either with starvation mode or a binge, neither of which I want. 

So my question is, how much leeway should I give myself if I have an intense workout and am feeling extra hungry? Yesterday in kickboxing I'm estimating I burned 500-600 calories based on what my heart rate monitor says (it kept showing 00 at random times, methinks I need to clean the strap). And then after that workout, I was super hungry all day, but I was trying to stay within my allotted calories, per my goals of course. Well I ended up eating 1723 cals, which is of course over the 1550, but not by much. So TECHNICALLY I didn't meet that goal yesterday, but I'm not going to get all psycho about this, because that isn't good for anyone's mental health. Hell, the fact that I'm even writing this out is a little over the top. That's it, I've officially decided that I can consume up to 1800 calories on days I kickbox or have another really tough workout. I trust myself and I know that if I need the calories, I need the calories. Even if they are in the form of wine. :) 

Speaking of being psycho and having too much ego, Angie had a really great post yesterday about living in the present and how our weight loss isn't always the battle we think it is. This really resonated with me - I am always always worrying about this shit and letting it define my life and sometimes I really think I just need to get over myself and DEAL. This is my life, I love it, and things are going to be okay. Yes I want to continue to lose and yes I have my goals, but my world doesn't always have to revolve around this subject. As one of Angie's commenters said, sometimes you just have to tell yourself it's going to be easy. So as I said above, my goal of 8 lbs by May 1 is going to be a piece of cake!*

Tonight I'm going to that Camp24 interval class again, which I love, and then afterward we are heading out with our best friends to a new restaurant by our house. This week is Denver Restaurant Week, so tons of restaurants around town are having awesome pre-fix menus for $52.80 (the Mile High city, that's how we roll) per couple. I don't know what's on the menu, but I'm sure it will involve dessert and wine, so I'm just going to do my best to make good choices and enjoy a nice dinner on the cheap! I'll work it into my calorie budget, don't you worry! Hope everyone has a great day. 

Holy kickboxing! I love that class. Remind me why I haven't been going every week? Oh because I'm too lazy to get out of bed that early? Well no more. I am making a commitment to going every Wednesday. It is incredible. I am totally uncoordinated and just flail about most of the time but still, I love it. And I think I have a little girl crush on the instructor. 

So where the eff was Jillian on BL last night? It felt like she was barely in the episode, and honestly she is the whole reason I watch that show. I like seeing the workouts, the yelling and the screaming. The challenges and the hour-long weigh-ins don't really do it for me. I think they are stretching out the show to be way too long. Come on NBC, don't you have any other programming? I want more info about what they eat, what their workouts are really like, and I want more Jillian. Isn't Alison Sweeney an adorable pregnant person though? Somehow I don't think I'm going to be that adorable when I'm pregnant. 

Today it is finally warming up, which of course means all the snow is melting and there is dirty slush everywhere. I guess the mountains are getting dumped on, which means snowboarding this weekend though! I'm stoked to go, we've barely been up at all this year because of our traveling, but I finally got a helmet and I think that is going to lead to a lot more confidence on my snowboard. Maybe I'll venture on to some more blacks this year. We'll see. 

Still no news on the job front, not one freaking call. I'm giving it until the end of February and then I'm going to start exploring other options. Coffee shop? Retail? The idea of doing retail makes me want to poke my eyes out with a stick, so hopefully someone calls me soon. I guess in the meantime I'll keep doing the housewife thing. ;) 

I'm trying to stay on the South Beach wagon this week, so lunch will be leftover vegetarian chili (recipe from the book, made it for dinner last night) and dinner is out with the girls so I'll probably just order a salad. Oh yeah and I weighed in today, down 1.2 from last week. Still up about 2 lbs from my lowest, but I'm breaking through in February. It's happening baby! 

Lots of things

Okay I think I've talked myself off of the ledge with the baby thing. I know I don't need to have a baby right this minute. If I want to work on myself for a while longer, be selfish and enjoy this time with my husband, that's okay. I've accepted that. Life is what you make it. And while I'm still thinking about starting a family pretty soon, I know whatever decision I ultimately make, this isn't the only thing that defines me. 

As far as the whole diet realm goes, I've been struggling a bit. I got back on the south beach bandwagon right after the new year, but it has definitely been harder sticking to it now that I'm faced with so many more temptations. This weekend I sort of lost my mind and had a crazy ridiculous day that included ordering pizza and Dairy Queen (WTF???). Anyway, this, along with numerous other indiscretions, led to a 1.8 lb gain this week. Boo. I totally deserve it, but it sucks. Once again I find myself wavering just over that 170 lb barrier. 

I don't know why but I just cannot seem to get past that number. It is driving me up the mother effing wall. It's like I get to this comfortable place, where I'm cozy and feeling on the thinner side and then all of the sudden I just hit a wall. And I gain. I realize I even talked about this in my last post, and then what did I go and do this week? I gained. Of course.

I have got to figure out some way to turn this around. I know what to do. But man it is hard. And this week is going to be a major test, because we are heading to Vegas for the weekend. Oh Vegas. Booze and food and no sleep. I'm going to try to combat those issues though and bring some healthy snacks, really watch my alcohol intake and stick to ordering the healthy basics I know will help get me toward my goals. 

In other news, I joined the big chain gym by my house, which is completely too crowded, but way less expensive than the gym I belonged to before I left for Singapore. I tried a pilates class this morning and absolutely hated it. I hated the instructor, all the people in there, everything about it. There was no direction on form, no fundamentals. We just flew through the exercises without a second thought. It sucked. If I hadn't had the basics of pilates down I would have had no clue what I was doing. And I probably would have injured myself. That is not good. I was really annoyed when the class was over, so I hopped on the elliptical and did 40 minutes to blow off some steam.  It ended up being an okay workout, but it still annoys me that they have crap classes like that at the gym. I did like kickboxing last week, so maybe I'll try that again next week. 

Tonight I'm making a delicious recipe that I found on Kalyn's Kitchen. It's baked chicken stuffed with sun-dried tomato pesto, basil and goat cheese. OMG this stuff is the bomb-diggity. I am on a big goat cheese kick now that I have access to it. I can hardly get enough. I'll probably pair this with a spinach salad (yes, with some goat cheese). On that note, I better get cooking!

Off to the races

Well it looks like all the goodbye brunches and lunches and dinners caught up with me this week - I gained a pound. I'm okay with it, I definitely deserve it. And in the grand scheme of things, I enjoyed myself, got to drink one last glass of wine with some amazing friends I've met here in Singapore, and I don't regret it at all. 

Things have been crazy the past couple of days. Since we'll be in Japan for nine days before we head back to the States, we're trying to figure out what gets packed away, what comes to Japan, etc. It's a process and I am a terrible packer, so I hate it. When we were packing to move to Singapore my sister basically came over and took control because I was pretty much a blithering idiot. Same situation here, but unfortunately no sister to help. One thing I'm nervous about is our lack of warm clothing for Japan. We both have jeans and a couple of sweatshirts, long sleeves, so we should be fine, but we didn't bring any coats or anything like that. Hopefully it'll just stay cool, but not freezing. I hear when we get back to Denver it's going to be a totally different story though. Luckily all are warm clothes are snug inside our little house there. 

Today is our last day in Singapore. I'm about to go hit the gym for a good workout, then spend the afternoon finishing packing and trying to get the boy to get his shit together. Tonight we'll go have one last local meal, beers with friends, and then tomorrow we're off to Japan. I'm looking forward to lots of sushi, Harajuku girls and hopefully purchasing some cool electronics. I probably won't post until I get back to the States, so happy holidays to everyone. Enjoy the season and don't forget to take care of YOU! 

Weigh In

Weigh in results today: down .6 lbs. Boo. That is not very much. I know I know, moving in the right direction and all of that lovely nonsense, but really? Really? Just .6. After all of that worrying about being tired and wondering if my calories were too low. Hrmph. 

Oh well. Such is life and I will keep going. I guess I can't have stellar results every single week. I can tell you that I am so looking forward to getting back to the States and having some more healthy options in terms of eating out. I know that might sound funny to some of you, given the U.S. is known for all of its frighteningly unhealthy restaurants and fast food joints, where it's no problem to sit down to consume an entire day's worth of calories in one sitting. 

Well yes, we do have all of the crap. But where I'm from in Colorado, we also have lots of healthy, fast casual options. One of my favorite lunch spots is a little build-your-own salad place, and I know for a fact that everything I am getting there is wholesome and nutritious. Not to mention yummy. 

Even Chipotle, which I am missing like crazy, allows me to get a bowl with good beans, veggies, etc. Here it's just not that easy. Salad just isn't very common, and when you do find places that serve Western food, it's often a poor imitation.

Take yesterday for instance. I mentioned I was having lunch with a girlfriend. When I got down to her office building, she suggested three places. One had pizza, one had American style diner food (think greasy french fries and burgers with kangaroo meat, although they'd never tell you that) and one was an Irish place that had sandwiches and salads. Of course there was also a sea of local food, greasy noodles and rice dishes dishes, which I do enjoy from time to time, don't get me wrong, but yesterday wasn't the day. 

Anyway, I chose the Irish place. I figured the best approximation of western food was probably the pizza place, but I thought I might be able to find something a bit healthier on the Irish menu because I spied a salad on an advertisement in the front. 

And there was a salad option. Yes, it was a Caesar, but hey, that's okay. A little Caesar dressing isn't going to kill me. I ordered it with no bacon, add chicken, and hold the croutons. And on the side I ordered a cup of mushroom soup. Sounds good, no? 

It wasn't. It was gross. The chicken was thigh (breast is relatively rare in most places, and I should have known) so it was chewy and just not to my liking. The dressing was okay, so I mostly at the romaine leaves and picked around the chicken. The soup tastes like dirt, literally. Like they picked some dirty mushrooms off the ground, didn't wash them, and stuck them in a blender. I had about 2 bites. Gross. And to top it all off, this meal cost me like 17 Singapore dollars (around 11 US). 

I was not impressed. And the thing is, this happens all the time. It is just really hard to find a cheap, fast, but healthy meal. It's like that old triangle goes. You can have cheap and fast, but not healthy. You can have healthy and fast, but not cheap. Although that's debatable too. Healthy and cheap, but not fast? I doubt it. Anyway, this is why I mostly stick to eating at home for lunches. 

When you move to a new country it does take some adapting, and of course food has been one of the hardest things. There are things I've learned to absolutely love, like dim sum. But for the most part, it makes me realize how set in my ways I am when it comes to food and how lucky I am to have a shining beacon of health and wellness like Whole Foods so close. I honestly think as our move home date approaches, I'm just getting more anxious about things like this and I'm ready to have the comforts of home back, like RIGHT NOW. Not in three weeks or whatever it is. I probably need to just chill and enjoy Singapore's quirky food while I can, because next thing you know I'll be complaining about all the crap in the US. :) I am looking forward to eating lots of yummy healthy sushi when we go to Japan for Christmas though. 

On today's agenda, a LONG workout, laundry, and beginning to sift through all the crap we have accumulated here so I can figure out how we are going to get everything home. Hope everyone is having a nice week. :) 

Klutz-o-rama

Weigh in day - down 1.8 lbs! Woot! I'm happy, really happy given the extravagance of Saturday night. Looking back, one high calorie day isn't so bad. In fact I think it's a good thing to switch it up now and then. Whatever I'm doing, it's working so it is ALL GOOD. No excuses for another crazy night, but I'm just sayin'. 

Today I am a klutz for some reason. This morning I mixed up some Fage Greek yogurt with some frozen blueberries. It turned into this beautiful shining blue bowl of healthy goodness. And as I sat on the couch, distractedly trying to read the Interwebs and eat at the same time, I dumped it all over floor. Blue goo all over the carpet. Yes the housekeeping staff of this lovely service apartment does not love me. I ended up with some hard-boiled eggs. Can't make too much of a mess with those. 

Workout was awesome today. I didn't feel like going, but I went and did a weight circuit, arms, legs, the whole bit, with two minute jogs here and there thrown in to keep the heart rate up. I also downloaded this podcast and added it on the end of my workout. Jillian Michaels I'm obsessed with you. You are a goddess. Major girl crush on Jillian. Don't tell my husband. Luckily when I almost fell on my face during the plank pose there wasn't anyone else in the gym. 

This afternoon, same thing happened as this morning, only this time with my celery and peanut butter snack. I just cannot keep my food on the plate. Or in my mouth. Maybe I should stop trying to multi-task and just focus on eating my food when I'm eating my food. Duh. 

Tonight I'm making a Mexican fiesta. Boy will have burrito(s) and I will have a taco salad. No shell of course. Delish. Let's hope I can get through dinner without ruining the rug. 

Turkey Day Freakout

Okay dudes. I'm getting the sense that people in the U.S. are starting to freak out about Thanksgiving. And honestly, that is one stress I'm kind of glad I don't have right now. Every year I look forward to the holidays with a mixture of anticipation and dread, but I just don't seem to have that this year. 

I am sad I'm missing out on a traditional Thanksgiving in the U.S. I'm sad I don't get to spend time with my grandparents, who I know don't have tons of holidays left. I'm sad I won't get to roll my eyes in secret at my crazy aunt. I'm sad I won't get to eat my grandma's homemade rolls. I'm sad I won't get to hear the inappropriate comments that some older relatives are bound to make. I'm sad I won't get to get crazy playing board games and drinking too much wine. 

So yeah, I'm definitely bummed that I'm missing out on all the good family time, and I'm sure it'll be even worse when Christmas rolls around. But I'm focusing on the positive things about being overseas this year, and one of the positive things is definitely a lack of stress and specifically a lack of stress about food. 

The holidays are usually just a minefield for me. Every year, Every. Single. Year. I gain weight. I come up with strategies on what to do when faced with hard decisions or food pushers or this and that but it never fails. I gain weight.

This year though, I'm not even worried about it. I just don't have those pressures. I don't have an office filled with holiday goodies. I don't have parties and leftovers and family members that lead me to binge drink. I don't have those routines, those rituals that I have gone through every year that have led me to gain. They just aren't there. 

Instead, I have different things. Different rituals to take part in. People in Singapore will barely notice it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, but the boy and I will go out to dinner and give thanks together. It won't be anything crazy though. It'll just be another nice dinner and I'll make a good choice because that's where my head is right now. 

And then on Saturday afternoon, we've been invited to an American expat's house for a makeshift Thanksgiving celebration, but I'm not really worried about that either. I'm bringing a big salad and I'm sure I'll eat some turkey, but I'm going to keep it under control. I'm going to remember all of those little tips and tricks I go armed with every year and I'm actually going to use some of them this time. This year, Thanksgiving will not kick my ass. I will kick it's ass! 

By the way, I weighed in today and I maintained. I'm pretty bummed about it because I feel like I've been on such a roll this week. I worked out six days and I ate great except for a little splurge on Saturday night, but it wasn't out of control. Last week was a big loss of 3.2 lbs, so maybe my body just wasn't ready to let go of any more weight this week. It sucks, but all I can do is keep trying. Meh.