Monday, October 30, 2006


For a lot of us in the weight loss game, losing weight isn't a process that just begins and ends. Instead there are ups and downs and good times and bad times. Some of us go days, weeks, months, even years on the wagon. The people who've really figured it out do it for the rest of their lives.

But some of us backslide once in a while. Or maybe even more than once in a while. Sometimes it's a hardcore fall and we gain a lot of weight. Sometimes its that we just quit losing for a period of time and plateau a little. Or maybe our losses slow to a snail's pace. Maybe it's stress, or maybe it's that we're just sick of thinking about it, or maybe it's a planned vacation from the whole thing.

For me, my slip up was the last - a planned vacation. I knew what I was doing. I wanted to do it. And I have gained weight. So when I got back from my honeymoon last week, I had it in my mind that I was going to get back on the wagon and detox and quickly lose the weight I had gained.

I've been doing this for a long time now, practically all of my life I guess, but really focusing on it for at least a couple of years. And ususally, when I fall off the wagon or gain some weight back, I get to a point where I'm just sick of it, I just can't take it any more, and I start again. I've always been able to start again. The problem is that I'm always having to start again.

This year has been the first year where I haven't had to do that. Until now that is. I lost weight slowly and had a few stalls, but I started the year at 195, and as of about a month ago I saw the virgin fat territory, albeit fleetingly, of 170.5. Now, as of this morning I weighed 179. That's an 8.5 lb gain. I can attribute that to a couple of things, carb bloat, beer bloat, travel bloat, lack of sleep, but first and foremost, it's due to lack of exercise and taking in way too many calories. Knowing my body, I think some if I'll get rid of quickly, probably about three pounds, and the rest of it will take some time.

The problem is, I'm having a hard time focusing on what I need to do. Like I said before, in the past, I've always been able to jump right back on the wagon and go with it. But the past couple of days have been hard for me and I've had a really slow start. Take this morning for instance.

Woke up and had a cup of spinach, a banana and some almond butter. Lunch was a salad with a pear and walnuts and some balsamic vinaigrette. So far so good right? I had an apple and two small pieces of dark chocolate for a snack and I was good to go. But I was tired. Tired from the weekend and traveling and the time change and from waking up earlier than I've had to in a long time. Too tired to go to the gym. Too tired. I should have had some protein earlier in the day and I probably wouldn't have been so tired.

Point is, I came home and had a huge dinner and way too much Halloween candy and now I've gone way over my allotted calories for the day and skipped my workout. I should have just come home and had a healthy, well-portioned dinner and been done with it. But for some reason I just can't seem to want it that badly, and that's what really scares me.

What's it going to take for me to get back to that mindset, the mindset where I know I can do it and where I'm taking the steps I need to take to lose this weight? Gaining another pound, another five or ten pounds? Will it be gaining all of the weight back that I've lost this entire year? What's it going to be? Right now I just don't really know.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


So I made Buckwheat Groats for breakfast this morning. Have you guys ever eaten them? One cup of buckwheat groats, two cups of soy milk, one mashed banana and some cinnamon. Bring to a boil and then let simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. It was...interesting. Not quite as tasty as oatmeal. But judging by the difficulty I had cleaning the pan, that shit is good for my insides if you know what I mean! I don't know if I'll make it again. We'll see.

I'm on kind of a cooking kick now that I've gotten home; eating out so much on our trip sort of got boring and I miss eating home-cooked meals. Not that I'm much of a cook, but I like to have what I like to have, you know? Last night the boy had a steak and mashed potatoes and I had salmon and sweet potatoes. They were delicious, and I love knowing exactly what I'm putting in my mouth.

Tonight we've got a Halloween party to go to and of course I will be the loser with no costume, but I can't put the effort or money into it today. Eh. It will be the first time we've seen all of our friends since the wedding though, so I'm looking forward to that. Hope you all are having a great weekend! I'll leave you with a pic from the wedding!

Friday, October 27, 2006

I'm Back!

And I'm happily married! Thanks to everyone for your well wishes and Alea, you are the sweetest!

The wedding was fantastic. We had so much fun and like everyone says, it flew by. It was everything I could have ever dreamed of and I am so incredibly happy right now. The ceremony was beautiful and the party was rockin and I just had so much fun. I'll post pics when I get some from someone in my family or the photographer, but for now I'll just have to give you a few from the honeymoon in Hawaii.

The honeymoon got off to a rocky start when there was the earthquake in Hawaii. We were at the airport pretty much all day on Sunday the 15th, and then they finally cancelled the flight for good. Luckily the boy is resourceful, and we got another flight early the next morning to Maui. We were exhausted, but so happy to be there.

Our honeymoon was spent laughing and indulging and loving each other. We had so much fun it was ridiculous. I ate a ton, but I also ran on the beach, did sunrise yoga on the beach, swam and snorkeled and rode in a helicopter (and let me tell you, I think fear does burn calories). I'm home now and weighing quite a bit more than I did when I left, but I'm happy with every single thing I did. We got home yesterday and spent the day opening wedding gifts and playing with the dog, and this morning I got up and went straight to the grocery to stock up on fruits and veggies. I'm doing a little bit of detox over the next week or so to see if I can get rid of some of this bloat and water weight, but I know I've definitely gained some fat and I want to get rid of that as well. I've missed you guys so much, and I can't wait to go read about how you've been doing.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Hey everyone. So sorry I've been gone. The wedding is nuts! Super fun though. Eating is crap, I can't seem to get it under control right now but for some reason I can't really make myself care either. I guess I just need a break from it and right now is the time because I've got so many other things to worry about.

So the wedding - things are going well and I am seriously excited. We have about one million events going on. Thursday the bridesmaids and I are doing nails, and then my dad and co get in town so I'll be doing dinner or some such thing with them. Then Friday morning is a ladies luncheon (and no, I didn't name it that, you can thank my aunt for that). The the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, then Saturday is lots of hair and makeup and beautifying and then the wedding.

On Sunday we will leave early for our honeymoon to beautiful Hawaii! I won't be wearing a bikini, but dammit I will be sitting in the sun enjoying myself. And hopefully taking a helicopter ride.

Anyway, I have to go write thank you notes, but I just wanted to let you all know that I'm here and thank you for all of your comments. You guys are the best. If I'm not here before the wedding, I'll be back at the end of October to catch up on all your blogs and I'm sure hit the eating right/exercise thing hardcore again for the final push to the end of the year. Can you say 150's??????

Oh yeah, and I'll have pictures too!

Thursday, October 05, 2006


Okay so sorry I had this great news with hitting the virgin fat territory and then I just disappeared. Thank you all for all of the wonderful comments; you don't know how much I appreciate it.

Maybe it's mental, or maybe I'm stressed, but as soon as I hit that number my eating went to shit. I haven't been doing well at all and I'm sorry to say I've definitely gained a few pounds in the past few weeks. With the wedding and work right now, I'm just not able to focus as much as I'd like and I'm struggling a bit.

I had my last fitting of my dress on Tuesday, and I know a few pounds isn't going to make that much of a difference either way. I'm so excited to be getting married and to be wearing that dress. I know I'm going to feel fab no matter what.

Anyway, I have to run to work, but I'll try to write a real post sometime soon. The wedding is nine days away!