Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Off to the races

Well it looks like all the goodbye brunches and lunches and dinners caught up with me this week - I gained a pound. I'm okay with it, I definitely deserve it. And in the grand scheme of things, I enjoyed myself, got to drink one last glass of wine with some amazing friends I've met here in Singapore, and I don't regret it at all. 

Things have been crazy the past couple of days. Since we'll be in Japan for nine days before we head back to the States, we're trying to figure out what gets packed away, what comes to Japan, etc. It's a process and I am a terrible packer, so I hate it. When we were packing to move to Singapore my sister basically came over and took control because I was pretty much a blithering idiot. Same situation here, but unfortunately no sister to help. One thing I'm nervous about is our lack of warm clothing for Japan. We both have jeans and a couple of sweatshirts, long sleeves, so we should be fine, but we didn't bring any coats or anything like that. Hopefully it'll just stay cool, but not freezing. I hear when we get back to Denver it's going to be a totally different story though. Luckily all are warm clothes are snug inside our little house there. 

Today is our last day in Singapore. I'm about to go hit the gym for a good workout, then spend the afternoon finishing packing and trying to get the boy to get his shit together. Tonight we'll go have one last local meal, beers with friends, and then tomorrow we're off to Japan. I'm looking forward to lots of sushi, Harajuku girls and hopefully purchasing some cool electronics. I probably won't post until I get back to the States, so happy holidays to everyone. Enjoy the season and don't forget to take care of YOU! 

Monday, December 15, 2008

Food, Singapore Style

Food porn alert. I had the most fabulous brunch this weekend. Total food and booze coma overload. It was insane. I am not guilty, as this was a very very special occasion and I will probably never have the opportunity to do it again. 

We're coming up on our last days here in Singapore, so to celebrate Christmas/say goodbye to some of our good friends, we went out for one of Singapore's infamous Sunday brunches yesterday. These things are insane. All over Singapore fancy hotels and even just normal restaurants host extravagant brunches with free-flowing champagne and gobs of food. We've been wanting to go to one since we've gotten here, but the occasion just never presented itself. We like to go out for weekend breakfasts, but usually not for anything this fancy. 

Anyway, on to the meal. I got up and tried to hit the gym before we went, but of course I didn't leave myself very much time and when I got there both treadmills were occupied. I ended up doing some weights and some elliptical, but I didn't get to burn the calories I was hoping for with a good sweaty run. Did get that in today though so it's all good. 

I was hungry by the time we arrived, but not starving, which was good. Once I saw all the food though, I knew I was in trouble. So much to choose from means I want a bite of everything, which means I end up rolling myself home. I started with some yummy sushi and a heap of vegetables so I could feel like I started my day off right with protein and veggies. Here's a shot of the sushi table.

After my sushi/veggie plate I hit the egg station to get a vegetarian eggs benedict. This ended up being the only part of the meal I was really disappointed with - my egg was pretty much hard-boiled instead of soft and runny like it should be with eggs benny, so I didn't end up eating very much of that. 

Finally, I was off to hit the desserts, which I could hardly hold myself back from. I only got this shot of the chocolates but I must tell you, there was so much much more. A chocolate fountain. About ten kinds of cake. Berries flambe. Five different kinds of ice cream. I was in paradise. Sugar addiction, I thought I'd gotten rid of you. Yeah, not so much. 

All in all, I think I did okay. I took mainly tiny pieces of all the food I ate and I definitely ate more than I normally do, but not to the point of illness. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for my husband. Poor boy was not a happy camper after our meal and promptly fell asleep on the couch as soon as we got home. I was able to rouse him later in the afternoon, so it was all good.

We ended up going down to Merlion Park to see the big Merlion (Singapore's national animal? or mascot?). Something. Anyway Singapore is the Lion City of course, but the mere part of it represents its origins as a simple fishing village. It was a fun touristy thing to do and I'm glad we did it before we leave. 

Tonight we have to go out to dinner with the boy's boss, and I'm sort of nervous about it because we're going to a famous local place that serves lots of crazy local specialties like chili crab. We've never been because they serve shark's fin soup, and I make it a rule not to go to places that serve it, but this dinner is sort of out of the boy's hands and I pretty much have to go, so we'll see how it goes. I assume I'll end up with some sort of shrimp dish. 

Only four more days left in Singapore. I can't believe it! 

ETA: On the mouse front  - All of the mice were caught, and humanely, and the hole has been filled! I will hopefully come home to a mouse-free house later this month. 

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Eek! A Mouse!

So, apparently mice have invaded my home. In Denver, that home. I guess it is cold now, mice want somewhere warm to go, and since my doggie is no longer living there, they decided my house would be a good place to go. This is stressing me out, even from thousands of miles away.

My girlfriend, who is living there while we are gone, is of course not happy. She has caught three of them in a humane trap (oh how I love the Internet) and set them free at a park a couple of miles away, but one looked like a baby and she thinks there might be more. Yuck. I'm sure they are cute little guys and I certainly don't want to poison them, but I hate the idea of little mice running around my beautiful little house. And I hate that I'm so far away there is virtually nothing I can do. Ugh. 

In other news, let's see. Things are fine here, if boring. It is amazing how I occupy my time, even without a job. That said, the only person I've actually spoken to all day is the girl behind the counter at Starbucks. Wow, that is sad. I enjoy the alone time though, it gives me a chance to think. I know I'll miss it when we're back home. 

I am working on a slide show of all of our pictures from our travels since we've been in Singapore. We've been to Bintan, Indonesia, Bali, Cambodia, Thailand, and will add Japan to that list before we go home. I'm making it in iDVD, which is a very cool program. Figure it will be a nice gift for our parents, etc. It feels a little narcissistic but I guess that's never been a problem for me given all the blog writing and what not. I've noticed I haven't written in my travel blog as much since I started writing here again. I guess I just can't get the juices flowing for both at the same time. 

Tonight I'm on my own because the boy has going-away drinks with his coworkers, so I'm making myself another omelet with laughing cow and spinach. I'm on an omelet kick right now. I need to keep it healthy and under control while I can, because this weekend is going to be a challenge. 

Tomorrow we're having going away drinks with friends from our building and then out to dinner, which I'm sure will be a calorie minefield. Saturday is the BBQ with the boy's coworkers and their families, who knows what we'll have there. Local food I'm sure.  Then Sunday we're going to a fancy bon voyage brunch with our Thanksgiving buddies. What does this mean? Lots and lots of food. And booze. Hopefully I can offset any damage with some good workouts and actually being mindful about my eating. I'm all about approaching these things with intention right now. :)

Here's a pic of the last spinach omelet I made. Doesn't look that appetizing, I know, but it is. And yes, I realize I suck at the food photography thing. Sorry. 

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Weigh In

Weigh in results today: down .6 lbs. Boo. That is not very much. I know I know, moving in the right direction and all of that lovely nonsense, but really? Really? Just .6. After all of that worrying about being tired and wondering if my calories were too low. Hrmph

Oh well. Such is life and I will keep going. I guess I can't have stellar results every single week. I can tell you that I am so looking forward to getting back to the States and having some more healthy options in terms of eating out. I know that might sound funny to some of you, given the U.S. is known for all of its frighteningly unhealthy restaurants and fast food joints, where it's no problem to sit down to consume an entire day's worth of calories in one sitting. 

Well yes, we do have all of the crap. But where I'm from in Colorado, we also have lots of healthy, fast casual options. One of my favorite lunch spots is a little build-your-own salad place, and I know for a fact that everything I am getting there is wholesome and nutritious. Not to mention yummy. 

Even Chipotle, which I am missing like crazy, allows me to get a bowl with good beans, veggies, etc. Here it's just not that easy. Salad just isn't very common, and when you do find places that serve Western food, it's often a poor imitation.

Take yesterday for instance. I mentioned I was having lunch with a girlfriend. When I got down to her office building, she suggested three places. One had pizza, one had American style diner food (think greasy french fries and burgers with kangaroo meat, although they'd never tell you that) and one was an Irish place that had sandwiches and salads. Of course there was also a sea of local food, greasy noodles and rice dishes dishes, which I do enjoy from time to time, don't get me wrong, but yesterday wasn't the day. 

Anyway, I chose the Irish place. I figured the best approximation of western food was probably the pizza place, but I thought I might be able to find something a bit healthier on the Irish menu because I spied a salad on an advertisement in the front. 

And there was a salad option. Yes, it was a Caesar, but hey, that's okay. A little Caesar dressing isn't going to kill me. I ordered it with no bacon, add chicken, and hold the croutons. And on the side I ordered a cup of mushroom soup. Sounds good, no? 

It wasn't. It was gross. The chicken was thigh (breast is relatively rare in most places, and I should have known) so it was chewy and just not to my liking. The dressing was okay, so I mostly at the romaine leaves and picked around the chicken. The soup tastes like dirt, literally. Like they picked some dirty mushrooms off the ground, didn't wash them, and stuck them in a blender. I had about 2 bites. Gross. And to top it all off, this meal cost me like 17 Singapore dollars (around 11 US). 

I was not impressed. And the thing is, this happens all the time. It is just really hard to find a cheap, fast, but healthy meal. It's like that old triangle goes. You can have cheap and fast, but not healthy. You can have healthy and fast, but not cheap. Although that's debatable too. Healthy and cheap, but not fast? I doubt it. Anyway, this is why I mostly stick to eating at home for lunches. 

When you move to a new country it does take some adapting, and of course food has been one of the hardest things. There are things I've learned to absolutely love, like dim sum. But for the most part, it makes me realize how set in my ways I am when it comes to food and how lucky I am to have a shining beacon of health and wellness like Whole Foods so close. I honestly think as our move home date approaches, I'm just getting more anxious about things like this and I'm ready to have the comforts of home back, like RIGHT NOW. Not in three weeks or whatever it is. I probably need to just chill and enjoy Singapore's quirky food while I can, because next thing you know I'll be complaining about all the crap in the US. :) I am looking forward to eating lots of yummy healthy sushi when we go to Japan for Christmas though. 

On today's agenda, a LONG workout, laundry, and beginning to sift through all the crap we have accumulated here so I can figure out how we are going to get everything home. Hope everyone is having a nice week. :) 

Monday, December 08, 2008

Weekend wrap up

This weekend was good, we had lots of fun and got in some essential Singapore tourist opps before we leave in a couple of weeks. One was the night safari, which is pretty freaky. I'm not a big zoo person because I tend to get sad about seeing the animals in captivity. I felt the same way during this trip, but it's a bit different because you ride this tram around this open area and all the animals are kind of free to move around. There are natural barriers and what not, but it's still sort of scary to see them up close and personal like that. Let me tell you a rhino is a scary thing. And then there are the hippos. Wow. Apparently hippos kill more people in Africa than any other animal. I did not want to die at the hands (or mouth) of a hippo so I cowered inside the tram like a big baby the whole time. 

At the night safari we were supposed to have dinner, but our schedule ended up getting all messed up and we weren't going to be able to eat until like 9:30, and then it was at a burger joint, so I secretly ate a Think Thin bar. I felt kind of silly sneaking it, but I was hungry and didn't want to scarf down a bunch of crap later just because I had missed dinner. I ended up not really eating anything once we got to the burger place, but only because the bar filled me up and my only options were burgers and of course I don't do red meat. So I ended up picking at a few of the boy's fries, but besides that I was satisfied and happy I had planned in advance. 

Friday and Saturday I did have higher calorie days, mostly because we went out for dinner both nights and I ended up with a few adult beverages and just generally ate a bit more. I was happy with my choices though and think I did a good job. I think I'm really just going to have to play with my calories a bit to see what really works for me and what doesn't. It seems like it's going to be a lot of tinkering. 

Eating out is what really gets me, it always has. It's just so hard to make a good decision when confronted with so many options. I'm extremely nervous about this when we get home, but also over the next couple of weeks. We've got lots of goodbye lunches and dinners and what not scheduled so I'm going to have to be very aware of what I'm doing. In fact, I need to go get ready for a goodbye lunch right now. I am meeting a girlfriend down by the river. I don't know where we're going, but she's American too and we tend to like similar things, so hopefully she'll choose something good. Tomorrow's my weigh-in day, and I'm hoping it goes well. Fingers crossed. 

Friday, December 05, 2008


I am tired. I am losing weight and I am tired. I know this has happened to me before when I've been losing. I can't remember where or when but I know it's happened. I'm working out a lot. I'm keeping my calories low. Not too low, I'm eating, oh I'm definitely eating, but still. Low. 

And I think that's making me tired. I took the day off from working out yesterday to try and recover a bit, and I do think it helped, but I'm still tired. Part of me thinks this is normal and just part of the process, my body is getting used to a lower amount of calories and its having to work hard to process all that fat that is dropping down the toilet (or that's where I imagine my fat going when I'm losing it, sorry if that's TMI). But part of me, and I think it's the wild child devil on my shoulder part, is saying, "oh, this is a sign. up your calories. have some ice cream. have some pie. dive face first right into that mac and cheese sitting in the cupboard." My wild child doesn't use capitalization. 

I'm not overly hungry. I'm not depriving myself. I'm eating enough. But I just feel worn out. I want to keep this momentum but it's hard to know how to manage this tiredness. Losing weight is just not something your body wants to do. It kicks and screams and wants to hold on to every last drop of fat. It pounds its fists on the floor. 

I think I'm going to trick my body tomorrow and see if that helps. I'm going to have a higher calorie day tomorrow - just ONE day. And it's not going to be all booze either. ;) I'm just going to ramp it up for one day and then go right back to what I'm doing, because I know what I'm doing is working. And if I still feel tired, well then maybe it's something else and I'll have something else to worry and fret over.

In the meantime, I'm just going to go close my eyes for a bit...

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


Weigh in day - down 1.8 lbs! Woot! I'm happy, really happy given the extravagance of Saturday night. Looking back, one high calorie day isn't so bad. In fact I think it's a good thing to switch it up now and then. Whatever I'm doing, it's working so it is ALL GOOD. No excuses for another crazy night, but I'm just sayin'. 

Today I am a klutz for some reason. This morning I mixed up some Fage Greek yogurt with some frozen blueberries. It turned into this beautiful shining blue bowl of healthy goodness. And as I sat on the couch, distractedly trying to read the Interwebs and eat at the same time, I dumped it all over floor. Blue goo all over the carpet. Yes the housekeeping staff of this lovely service apartment does not love me. I ended up with some hard-boiled eggs. Can't make too much of a mess with those. 

Workout was awesome today. I didn't feel like going, but I went and did a weight circuit, arms, legs, the whole bit, with two minute jogs here and there thrown in to keep the heart rate up. I also downloaded this podcast and added it on the end of my workout. Jillian Michaels I'm obsessed with you. You are a goddess. Major girl crush on Jillian. Don't tell my husband. Luckily when I almost fell on my face during the plank pose there wasn't anyone else in the gym. 

This afternoon, same thing happened as this morning, only this time with my celery and peanut butter snack. I just cannot keep my food on the plate. Or in my mouth. Maybe I should stop trying to multi-task and just focus on eating my food when I'm eating my food. Duh. 

Tonight I'm making a Mexican fiesta. Boy will have burrito(s) and I will have a taco salad. No shell of course. Delish. Let's hope I can get through dinner without ruining the rug. 

Tuesday, December 02, 2008


Boring. I feel like I have been eating the same foods over and over and I am getting bored. 

Isn't this the classic weight loss issue? You find something that works, something you maybe even like, and you eat it. A lot. You overdo it. Then you get sick of it or you get bored with it and you go off of your plan because you want something different and then you run into trouble. 

This is how it always happens with me. And usually, when I'm in my weight loss mode, I overcompensate for this boredom by spending entirely too much time online, scouring the web for recipes. That way I can find new favorites and go-to's. 

It hasn't been so easy to do this in Singapore. Why? Because we live in a tiny service apartment. It's furnished, with dishes and pots and pans, but in a very sparse way. I have four plates. Four bowls. Four forks, knives, spoons. One big pot. One small pot. One big frying pan. I have a stove top with four burners. I have a refrigerator the size of a greeting card. And I have a microwave. 

I don't have an oven. I didn't have a cheese grater until I specially requested one. My knives are pathetically un-sharp. I don't have a blender or a food processor. I definitely don't have a dishwasher. Not to mention the fact that finding my preferred ingredients, not always so easy. 

It really hasn't been that bad. I've been making lots of soups and chili and salads. I can scramble and sauté with the best of 'em. I can microwave the hell out of anything you can throw at me. 

I've been managing, but I'm definitely ready to get back to my kitchen. I want options. I want to make baked sweet potato fries. I want to have a smoothie for breakfast. I want to pulverize some veggies and make fresh salsa. I want to dive headfirst into Cooking Light and see what I can come up with. 

For now, I'll stick to my tuna salads for lunch. My veggie chili for dinner. All of my healthy basics. And yeah, I'm probably going to have to go get my fill of some very unhealthy Singaporean food that I won't be able to have for a long time. I'm going to keep it in check though and hopefully, leave this country quite a bit lighter than I was when I entered it. 

Sunday, November 30, 2008

New day

Okay so I'm over it. Over beating myself up. Moving on. It's a new day, new month, new everything. Done-zo. 

Yesterday I lazed on the couch all day and watched a ton of episodes of Lipstick Jungle online. We hardly get any current TV shows over here, they're all last seasons reruns, but I choose to watch this show online? I will never understand myself. Somehow I'm hooked on it though. I don't know. 

This morning I got up and had breakfast with a friend, just eggs and a piece of wheat toast. I then went straight to the gym and did a weight circuit followed by 30 minutes on the elliptical. I'm still not feeling great physically, probably because I slept like crap again last night, so I may take a nap this afternoon and see if that helps. I can't believe I'm so old that I have two day hangovers. That is just sad. 

Our Thanksgiving hosts did send us home with some turkey, stuffing, and about half of a pie, but thank goodness today none of it even sounds good. I may have some of the turkey in a salad for dinner but we'll see. No pie though. I need to go the store and get food for the week but I'm just not motivated at all. Waaaahhh waaahhhh wahhhh. Wow I'm a serious Debbie downer today. Maybe I'm not over it after all. These things take time I guess. 

I can't believe it, but we are actually leaving Singapore in 19 days. The time has gone by so fast. We are leaving on the 19th and spending Christmas in Japan, then we head back to the States on the 28th. Have I mentioned that here? I can't remember. While I'm super excited to get back to my family and friends, I just can't believe I'm leaving here already. I have to make the most of my time here. And I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to get all my crap back into the two suitcases I brought over here. Not gonna stress about it now though. Now it's naptime. 

Saturday, November 29, 2008


I'm hungover and feeling guilty. I ate too much yesterday. It feels shitty. It's amazing how one day of overeating and drinking can change your whole outlook. I was feeling so great. But now the guilt it setting in. So instead of dwelling on it, I'm just going to get it off my chest here and try to go back to being successful. 

The good news is, we had a great time yesterday celebrating our American Thanksgiving in Singapore. I started off the day well with a great hour-long treadmill workout and burned about 600 calories. Then we went to some friends apartment and had almost all of the traditional dishes. Turkey, stuffing, an asparagus casserole (which was new to me but quite delicious). I brought a salad so I would be sure to have at least one healthy dish. I did great to start, took only a little bit of each item, didn't overeat, but I allowed myself a treat piece of pie. 

So far so good right? Well that's when the drinking started. Wine with dinner. Then vodka. And more vodka. We ended up going out to karaoke. It was hilarious and really fun. But we were out until almost 1:30, and having eaten at around 5, I was starving again. Couple that with a McDisgusto around the corner from my apartment and you have a recipe for disaster. 

Let me preface this my saying I never eat McD's. I am morally against it. I think the food is gross. But sometimes my head just doesn't work properly. It's like I was on auto-pilot last night. Last night I succumbed to my french fry craving and also had a Big Mac with no meat. Talk about carbs. I probably spiked the hell out of my blood sugar and then promptly went to bed. Yuck. 

So yeah, it feels shitty. I tracked all my calories in Spark People and it is not pretty. About 2500 for the day and who knows if I remembered everything. I am really glad I got that workout in. I'm glad we had a nice celebration with friends and had a good night out. I'm trying not to feel guilty. I don't want to let this throw me off track. So even though I'm feeling yucky and craving sugar today, I stuck to a turkey sandwich with lots of veggies for lunch. I am trying to chug water even though I don't want to. I'm going to make a healthy dinner. 

I'm also trying to think about why I did this. I was on such a roll. I am on such a roll. I don't think I was sad and missing my family and trying to soothe myself with food. I think I was just drunk and falling back into old, bad habits. I gave myself permission to indulge a little yesterday, but I took advantage of that permission. I took advantage of myself. So next time I give myself permission to indulge, I'm just going to have to be that much more aware. This clearly is one battle that I'm never going to stop fighting. 

I wasn't worried about Thanksgiving, I had planned to kick Thanksgiving's ass. And honestly I think I did kick it's ass for the most part. It was just the night out drinking that got me. I'm going to learn from this though. I'm going to remember this feeling and I'm going to move on.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Turkey Day Freakout

Okay dudes. I'm getting the sense that people in the U.S. are starting to freak out about Thanksgiving. And honestly, that is one stress I'm kind of glad I don't have right now. Every year I look forward to the holidays with a mixture of anticipation and dread, but I just don't seem to have that this year. 

I am sad I'm missing out on a traditional Thanksgiving in the U.S. I'm sad I don't get to spend time with my grandparents, who I know don't have tons of holidays left. I'm sad I won't get to roll my eyes in secret at my crazy aunt. I'm sad I won't get to eat my grandma's homemade rolls. I'm sad I won't get to hear the inappropriate comments that some older relatives are bound to make. I'm sad I won't get to get crazy playing board games and drinking too much wine. 

So yeah, I'm definitely bummed that I'm missing out on all the good family time, and I'm sure it'll be even worse when Christmas rolls around. But I'm focusing on the positive things about being overseas this year, and one of the positive things is definitely a lack of stress and specifically a lack of stress about food. 

The holidays are usually just a minefield for me. Every year, Every. Single. Year. I gain weight. I come up with strategies on what to do when faced with hard decisions or food pushers or this and that but it never fails. I gain weight.

This year though, I'm not even worried about it. I just don't have those pressures. I don't have an office filled with holiday goodies. I don't have parties and leftovers and family members that lead me to binge drink. I don't have those routines, those rituals that I have gone through every year that have led me to gain. They just aren't there. 

Instead, I have different things. Different rituals to take part in. People in Singapore will barely notice it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, but the boy and I will go out to dinner and give thanks together. It won't be anything crazy though. It'll just be another nice dinner and I'll make a good choice because that's where my head is right now. 

And then on Saturday afternoon, we've been invited to an American expat's house for a makeshift Thanksgiving celebration, but I'm not really worried about that either. I'm bringing a big salad and I'm sure I'll eat some turkey, but I'm going to keep it under control. I'm going to remember all of those little tips and tricks I go armed with every year and I'm actually going to use some of them this time. This year, Thanksgiving will not kick my ass. I will kick it's ass! 

By the way, I weighed in today and I maintained. I'm pretty bummed about it because I feel like I've been on such a roll this week. I worked out six days and I ate great except for a little splurge on Saturday night, but it wasn't out of control. Last week was a big loss of 3.2 lbs, so maybe my body just wasn't ready to let go of any more weight this week. It sucks, but all I can do is keep trying. Meh.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Food Photo Experiment

Picture time! But first, I gotta say, you bloggers who take pics of your food every day and then post, I so admire you. This was hard! Hard to remember, hard to take good photos, and kind of scary because of the judgement factor. I'm not sure if this is something I could do every day, but I think here and there it can definitely be a good thing. It was actually kind of fun. 

So without further ado, on to the food. I woke up a little late this morning after a very fitful night's sleep. I don't know what it was but I was tossing and turning all night. It sucked. Maybe because I worked out later in the day than I normally do? I don't know. Anyway, I got up and wanted a little comfort so I made some steel-cut oats. I added a little canned pumpkin, cinnamon and walnuts to make it feel like fall, even though I'm boiling in the tropics. (I know poor little me right?)

After breakfast I went to the gym and did cardio. Today I did 20 minutes of intervals, alternating between sprinting and walking. Then I did a steady jog for 8 minutes. For the last half hour I did my walking routine, increasing the incline every 30 seconds. It was tough! I was sweating my ass off. I sweat so much here. I think it's the humidity. Even though I'm indoors, the sweat just pours off of me. What a delightful picture. 

Lunch was last night's leftover chicken salad. Supposed to be on a bed of lettuce, but since I wasn't able to get lettuce yesterday I had to improvise on vegetables, thus the red pepper strips. It actually ended up pairing quite nicely. I ended up filling up so I didn't eat the bonbel, even though it's on the plate. The chicken salad is just shredded chicken, mayo, celery, walnuts and green grapes. Yum! 

So this is where the whole picture-taking thing went downhill. I went for a coffee with a friend (got a nonfat cappuccino) and totally spaced the photo. Then I spent an hour making chili, but I sat and consumed it before I got a photo taken. I did take one of the leftovers going into the tupperware, but it certainly isn't very pretty. 

This meal was topped with some cheddar cheese and a little light sour cream. Oh and of course some Cholula. Thank goodness we get Cholula in Singapore. I'm obsessed. After dinner I had some sugar free chocolate pudding with cool whip on top, but of course I forgot to photograph that too. Clearly I suck at this. Maybe with practice I can get better. 

So that's it. That's my day. I entered all my food into SparkPeople and I consumed about 1400 calories. Right on target. If only I could do this every day. I probably should have gotten more vegetables in but I think I did fairly well overall. 

It's time to call it a night here, but most of you are only waking up, so have a great day!  

Monday, November 24, 2008

Monday at the Grocery Store

Mondays. I've actually come to look forward to them a little bit since living in Singapore. I'm sure the ENTIRE reason for that is I don't have to get up and go to a job. Instead I look forward to the boy going back to work and having the place to myself again. Not that I don't love the weekends, don't get me wrong. I just love "me" time.

This morning I went and did a pretty big shop at the market. It doesn't look like a ton of stuff, but when you have to walk a good mile to the grocery and then carry everything back, you tend to get a little more conservative with what you buy. I took a shot so you could see what I ended up with. 

It's funny, I think I shop so differently here, but I guess I end up with pretty much the same types of foods I would be eating if I were back in the U.S. There are definitely things I'm missing, but for the most part it's the same. Since Singapore is an island and it doesn't have it's own farming system or really much food production at all, pretty much the entire food supply, even the water, is imported. I live in an area where there are a lot of expats, mostly British, Australian and American, so most of the food in the market is imported from those regions. There's another market that really caters to the Japanese expats. Then of course there are the markets where the locals shop, which have lots of local foods and foods from Malaysia and China. 

Today I got the basics for vegetarian chili, lots of peppers, beans, tomatoes and some light sour cream to go on top. I also got chicken, grapes and walnuts for chicken salad, yogurt, berries and bananas for breakfasts this week and a big bar of dark chocolate (you know I couldn't stay away). Oh yeah and of course the Kettle chips, which the boy specially requested today. I won't be eating those. They were out of mixed greens for salad, which I've noticed happens a lot on Mondays. Actually they tend to be out of a lot of things on Mondays. I think it's just a function of people doing their grocery shopping on the weekends. But in Singapore, if something is out of stock, sometimes it can take weeks to get more. There was a period of about 3 weeks that I was without Greek yogurt and I was so happy when they got more in. You'd have thought they got chocolate covered bars of gold or something by my excitement level. 

So today was a good day overall. I did about 45 minutes of weight circuits and 30 minutes on the bike for my workout and I ate really well. I didn't photograph my meals, but that's something I'm still toying with doing. I like seeing what other people are eating so maybe if I do it'll have the same effect? Or maybe it will bore people to tears. I guess we'll see. Perhaps I'll try it tomorrow. 

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Chocolate Hangover

I have a headache. Didn't sleep well last night at all. Most likely because I tried so hard to be good at dinner last night and I don't think I ate enough. That combined with drinking a few beers and then a few (or five) dark chocolate squares when I got home just made me feel kind of gross. These are all small things, but lately my body has been running really well on all the healthy food and exercise I've been giving it, so I think any variation from routine causes problems.

The dark chocolate thing is hard. I keep a big bar in the apartment and just have a few squares every now and then. I think it's good in a way, they say nothing can substitute for a chocolate craving and I am buying the good stuff with antioxidants and all that. And it's not like I eat much at one time. But it probably shouldn't be an every day thing and I'm sort of turning that way. So today, no dark chocolate snacks. 

The boy is still sleeping blissfully but when he gets up we'll head to a little French cafe down the street for some breakfast. I love this place because I can get yummy scrambled eggs and a nice cappuccino and he can get his beloved Eggs Benedict. It's a relatively healthy protein packed meal for me and it makes for a nice Sunday morning routine. 

This afternoon I'm going to try to find some new running shoes since I didn't get to that yesterday and mine have been pounded into the ground, then I'm hoping to get in a long cardio workout. Lately I've been doing 20 minute intervals on the treadmill, with one minute running fast and one minute walking recovery. After that 20 is up I'll switch to walking, gradually increasing the incline every 30 seconds until I hit 10, then going back down. I do that until I've done an hour total. It's a great workout that gets my interval training in, but adds that extra calorie burning time as well. 

Oh yeah in regard to that hardcore yoga I mentioned yesterday, okay maybe I was exaggerating a little. :) I have been going to yoga every Friday here though and it is a tough class. We do handstands on the wall and backbends and everything, which is something I had never done in yoga before but I like a lot. I come home feeling like I actually worked my body, which is something I had never really gotten from yoga in the past. Maybe I just wasn't going to the right classes. I hope I can find a class this good when I get back to the U.S. 

Okay time to wake the boy up and get some grub. Ciao! 

Friday, November 21, 2008

South Beach Saturday

I realize I have so much to talk about. But I'm not going to just word vomit all over the screen, I'm going to try to space some things out. 

So let's see. I mentioned yesterday that I got back into actively trying to get some weight off in October. That's when I started doing the South Beach thing. I did the first two weeks, which is hardcore no sugar and pretty low carb, and I ended up taking off about seven lbs. I have to say at least four of that was probably water weight. Once I started adding back some carbs though, my losses slowed pretty dramatically and then I went to Thailand for a week. While I was there I pretty much let myself eat/drink whatever, but I didn't go crazy and binge or anything like that. Anyway, when I got back I had gained a few lbs, but I took them right back off the next week, and now I'm on the downward trend again.

In total though, since I started doing South Beach, I've lost about 11 pounds. I'm definitely happy with that. I hate hate hate this, but I know that limiting carbs is important for me if I'm going to lose weight. I'm clearly sensitive to them, and it does help when I reduce them. I wouldn't say I'm following South Beach to the letter of the law right now, I'm more just limiting sugar and sticking to a lower carb diet. I emphasize lower because it's still not all that low, given I'm eating tons of veggies and tons of beans still. I am just not a big meat person, never have been. I still don't eat red meat or pork at all. I used to eat turkey quite a bit, but turkey is just not common in Singapore. The only place I've found it is at Subway. Now I'm eating a lot of chicken, tuna, salmon, etc. Oh and peanut butter. My god I practically support the entire peanut industry all by myself. 

The other thing I've dramatically reduced is my alcohol intake. One reason for this is that alcohol is ridiculously expensive in Singapore. A six pack of beer, local Tiger beer that is brewed here, costs around $18 Singapore dollars. That is about $12 US. Seems kind of ridiculous when I know I can buy a sixer of Bud Light for $5.99. And you don't even want to know what it costs to get alcohol in restaurants. 

The other thing that's reduced my alcohol intake is my social life. In Denver we have a huge social circle and a big part of daily life is drinking. Not binge drinking or anything, but happy hour after work, apres ski beers, wine and cheese with the girls, that sort of thing. And don't get me wrong, I love that part of my social life and I'm excited to get back to it, but it isn't always conducive to weight loss. So being in Singapore, without a big group of friends to socialize with on the weekends means we just aren't drinking as much. We have met a few good friends here and we do still have drinks with them from time to time, it just isn't as often as I'd be doing it in the U.S. It's one thing I'm nervous about going back and facing honestly. But for now, as Martha would say, it's a good thing. 

So yeah, clearly lower carbs and lower alcohol intake helps with weight loss. No shit Sherlock right? I am a genius. Maybe I should write a book on this. 

Today is hard, as are all Saturdays. I think weekends in general are just rough on me. We eat out more often, and I often get frustrated with my options here. I miss having fast casual options where I know I can just pick up an easy salad. You'd be amazed at how hard it is to find salad here. Sometimes we go to the Hard Rock Cafe just to get semi-decent salads. Sad. 

Tonight we're going to a fun Euro-American brewery place that has an outdoor grill. They have a ton of different skewer options, so I'll probably go with shrimp and get some veggies on the side. I'll also probably have some beer or a glass of wine, but nothing too crazy. I took the day off of working out because I worked out every day this week and I'm extremely sore from a hardcore yoga class yesterday (more on that soon) but I'll be back in my little apartment gym tomorrow.  Hope everyone has a great weekend. 

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Pokes Head Up

Hello? Is anybody out there? I'm thinking some of you may have me in your feed readers still so if you do, hi! I'm back. Honestly I never really left, not totally. I've been reading tons of blogs the whole time I've been in Singapore. And I've been writing in a travel blog. And kind of wishing I was writing in this one.

So now I'm back.

In a way I regret taking a hiatus from fatblogland. There are so many new awesome blogs out there and so many relationships that I have let fall by the wayside. And I'm sorry for that. But I do know that it was the right decision for me to take a step back from writing about weight loss, specifically my weight loss (or lack thereof at times). When the boy and I moved to Singapore at the beginning of July I thought maybe it would be best to try to put some of my issues and obsessions with my weight aside for a while, and I thought stopping writing here might help that a bit.

And you know what, Singapore has been good for me in that regard in a way. When we first got here I didn't want to worry about food. I didn't want to worry about carb counts and calorie counts and fat and all of that crap. I just wanted to try new things. Living here, and going to Indonesia and Cambodia and Thailand, I've gotten to try tons of new food. Chicken rice and banana cakes and black sesame ice cream and greasy fried noodles and durian and dragonfruit and the list goes on and on. Some of it I loved, some of it I hated. Some of it was good for me, some of it was terrible for me.

I did gain a couple of pounds when we got to Singapore, and I was probably wavering back and forth in about a five pound range for the first four months. It depended on whether or not we were traveling (traveling always means lots of booze and eating out and you know how that can be).

Sometime in October though, I realized that just because I was halfway around the world didn't mean I could use that as an excuse to gain weight. Or more importantly, to not lose the weight. I've been hovering with being 25-50 lbs overweight for my entire adult life. There have been times when I've been gung-ho about getting it all off. There have been times when I'm resigned to just being "a big girl." There have been times when I'm eating or drinking without any restraint because I just don't give a fuck anymore. There have been times when I say "I'm going to lose it this time" but then I continue to maintain or just half-ass it.

The past couple of years I've fallen into a really bad pattern of losing weight at the beginning of the year - 10, 15, even 20 lbs. The for some reason the fall comes and I slowly gain. Gain all or most of it back during the holidays, and then I start over again the next year. In the fall of 2006, the year I got married, I was at the lowest weight I'd been at in a long time. But I gained back almost 25 lbs over the next year. Wow that is crazy to write it out here. But it's true.

At the beginning of 2008 I set out to lose that weight, again. And as of July, when we moved to Singapore, I was down about 15 lbs. Then I gained the five or so I just mentioned. Which brings us to October, at which point I started with a fresh resolve. Part of it was the thought of coming back to the U.S. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have daydreams about losing all the weight while I'm out here and coming home and shocking everyone with my new hot bod. And while I know that's not really realistic, I do know that I have an amazing opportunity. This year I won't be with my family for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I won't have the food pushers and the pressures and the environmental factors that have caused me to gain weight every single holiday season I can remember.

Instead, I have myself. I have the boy, and I have about a month left in Singapore and then I have ten days in Japan, where I'll celebrate Christmas and my 29th birthday (on December 27). I know I can choose how to spend this time. And I choose to spend it losing weight, not gaining weight. I will not deprive myself from the sensory experiences here that I may not get for the rest of my life. But I will not let them take over my other needs either.

So what does that mean for me? That means I want to be conscious about my weight loss, and I want to participate. I want to take my blog back. I want to build relationships with other bloggers and tell the people I've let down I'm sorry. I want to steal some of the awesome ideas I've seen on a few blogs, like photographing my food more often and posting recipes. I want to talk about all of the things I'm loving right now and how living as an overweight person in Asia has changed my perspective a bit.

So I'm back. I'm going to be working on updating the links to the right and adding all of the new bloggers I've been reading. I'm going to be stopping by to say hi more often. And I'm going to be writing about my weight loss, my workouts, what I'm eating. And probably some non-weight loss things too. I'm going to go back to doing a weekly weigh-in on Wednesdays. I feel good today, I feel positive. Things aren't always going to be sunshine and lollipops I know. But I'm going to write about the good times and the bad times. I think getting started was the hardest part.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Checking In

Hi guys. Just want to let you know I'm going on hiatus for a while. Things are good - the boy and I are here in Singapore, and of course I'm not falling off the wagon, just focusing on other priorities. I do have a travel blog and I'd love for you all to read it, but right now I know I can't give this blog the time and love it deserves. Please know that I'm still out there reading you all and cheering for you, and I'll be by to comment for sure, but I'm just not going to post much here for a bit. If you'd like to read the travel blog I'd love to have you. Please just email me at myfutureme at gmail dawt com.


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Packing packing packing. That's all I'm supposed to be doing, but I never seem to do it. Today is the day though - I am going to do a practice pack and then leave everything I don't need for the next five days in the suitcase - it is not coming back out! I have had lots of helpers come over the past week or so - my mom, my sister, friends, etc. but I still cannot seem to get it together. I don't know if it's fear or procrastination or what. I'm actually getting really really excited to go, so you'd think I'd want to get the packing situation handled. It's the boring parts that get me - cleaning out the linen closet so our renter can have room for her stuff - BORING. But I will do it.

In other news, I lost .2 this week, which is kind of a miracle based on what I've been eating and the lack of exercise. Over the weekend we went to a wedding, then we had a bon voyage BBQ, and then last night our best friends took us out to the Melting Pot, a fantastic fondue restaurant, as kind of a last hurrah for the four of us. So yeah, needless to say, copious amounts of food and alcohol have been consumed.

What I'm getting really nervous about is not having a scale to monitor my progress on when I'm gone. Perhaps I'll buy one when I get out there, but I don't plan on taking one. I've been a daily weigher for quite some time now, and it's always been a good way for me to monitor my progress. Yes, sometimes it can get borderline obsessive, but for me that's never been really a negative thing. Instead it keeps me from backsliding. If I don't look at the scale, I'm usually avoiding it for a reason.

So as of Monday morning, I won't have a scale and doubly scary, I'll head off into the great unknown when it comes to food. No clue what I'll be eating on a regular basis when I get to Singapore, but I hope I can continue on this downward trend when I get there. As of today I've lost 14.6 lbs this year, which isn't stellar considering the gain from last year, but it is working for me!

The boy and I have created a new blog, so I'll be posting that here soon. I decided to just give you ladies the link, and if you're interested you can come on by. It's not quite ready yet, but I can guarantee that we'll be posting more often than I do here (I'm a slacker) and that we'll have some interesting posts about our travels to Asia. I'll still be here too, so I hope you'll visit. Be back before I leave, I promise!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Breathe In. Breathe Out.

Phew. Deep breaths. Okay thank you all for talking me off the ledge. I am making lists and I'm getting through things. Yesterday after my post I decided to just screw it all and go to kickboxing instead, and I'm so glad I did. It was such a good way to get all of that stress out. After that I came home, made some lists, got some boxes, and then pretty much did nothing the better part of the day.

I think I just needed to relax a little. This morning I'm in getting things done mode and I'm happy to say I'm making some progress. For now at least. ;)

One thing that helps is that my mom is going to come over this afternoon. She's always good at getting me organized. I guess I still need that parental help once in a while. Even if I am 28.

So no workout today, but I'll be busy moving my body, so at least there's that. Food is still pretty good, but I have to confess I bought some Sweet and Spicy Doritos for the boy and they are damn good. And I kind of want to eat some. I think I will. But I'll make it work with my calories and we'll be fine.

Thanks again to everyone for being so sweet. I love you guys. And I'm sorry if I'm not around much in the next couple of weeks, but I'll be back, I promise. :)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

What is it

I suck suck suck right now at being a blogger. I'm stressed and I want to cry almost every day. I should be happy right now. There is just too much. It is too much for me right now and I want to let it all go to hell. I don't know how to organize myself for this move. I don't know how many effing pairs of pants to bring. I am letting these things overwhelm me.


Okay I just needed to yell that. Sorry.

I am scared. We don't even have a place to live yet. We leave in a week and a half. A week and a half. A week and a half.

It's only six months. I just need to chill out. For real.

A week and a half, and before that, I have to - go to a friend's wedding this Saturday. Be the guest of honor at a BBQ (at my house!) on Sunday. Be in a friend's wedding (including pre-parties, rehearsal dinners, etc.) next Saturday. Miss another friend's wedding next Saturday. Not tell that friend I don't think she should marry him.

Not to mention pack, get my shit in order so that someone can move into this little, messy house we won't be calling home anymore, and do things. So many things. Turn off my cell phone. Sell the car. Sweep the floors. Mow the lawn. Call my dad.

Weigh in today - gained .8. As long as I can stop myself from stuffing my face in stress I think I'll be fine.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Weigh In

Down 2.6 today! Woo hoo! How did that happen? Maybe it's a fluke due to the sickness on Monday, but I do believe some of it is real. Yippee! Yesterday I stuck to my plan perfectly and I think the Chinese chicken salad turned out really nicely. All I did was mix some romaine and spinach together, add some shredded chicken, shredded carrots, mandarin oranges, slivered almonds, and a few crunchy chow mein noodles. It was delicious. Oh yeah and Newman's Own Lowfat Sesame Ginger dressing. So good.

Today is already totally effed up because I was up until 3:30 with the dogs, so I'm basically a walking zombie. If I want to make kickboxing I have to leave in 15 min, so it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I'll figure something out this afternoon though I'm sure. In the meantime I need to order my yellow shoes for the wedding I'm in coming up in 2 weeks (yes I don't have my shoes yet, I am a slacker).

Anyway, yay for the weigh in! I'm so close to a new decade, I can taste it. Next week ladies. Next week.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Recovering Nicely

Okay I'm feeling much better today. Slept like crap, mostly because we are dogsitting for my parents and while their little King Charles is adorable, she snores something fierce and is definitely not on the same schedule we are. She's also really sad; I think she just misses my mom. Anyway, other than that, I'm back to my old self.

This morning I walked the dogs for about 40 minutes, dropped them off, and went back out for some additional Jeni time. I ran down to the elementary school soccer field (about half a mile away) and spent some time doing a rotation of bodyweight exercises: squats, lunges, push ups, tricep dips, planks and V-sits. The I did 5 one minute interval sprints up and down the field, followed by the half mile job home.

Holy moly. I am dead. Sweaty dead. I think it's already about 85, and I am just not used to the heat yet. I need to start getting my workouts in earlier. I can't imagine how dead I'm going to be when I'm in Singapore and the humidity is one million percent. I feel great though, it's always so nice to get my body back in working order after a period (even though it was brief) of illness.

I don't think I actually had salmonella poisoning, it was just too short for that, but I definitely ate something that did not sit well with me. Today I'm going to try to stick to my tried and true meals and just hope that I don't have anymore issues.

On the menu today:
Breakfast: banana and peanut butter
Lunch: Turkey sandwich, pear
Dinner: Girls are coming over - I'm making Chinese Chicken Salad with breadsticks and homemade rice krispy treats for dessert. And probably some wine. :)

I know you were so interested in knowing that. Today I just need the accountability. Have a good one!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Tomato Scare!

Bwahahahahahaha. Run for your lives!

Just kidding. But apparently there is some sort of scare about tomatoes and salmonella? I don't know if tomatoes were the culprit, but I spent the afternoon puking my face off after what I thought was a delicious veggie sandwich at one of my favorite little sandwich shops downtown. I called and they said they haven't had any complaints, but I'm wondering if the tomatoes were to blame? I don't really know what the symptoms of salmonella are, in fact I can't imagine salmonella would kick in that fast (I was sick about an hour after I ate, if that) but I do know that I was not a happy camper after that sandwich.

I'm feeling better now, still kind of yucky and headachey, but I'm starting to get a little munchy so I sent the boy out for some noodles. And a rice krispy treat. That's healthy right? Right. It's one of the only things I can think of that sounds good to eat right now, so I'm going to eat it.

And in the future, I'm going to proceed with caution around those yummy red globes of death.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Dinner for Seven?

Ahh Friday, how I long for you. And you've finally welcomed me into your open arms. I don't know if I completely have my workout mojo back, but I did drag my ass to the gym (I was literally halfway home, convincing myself that I would run outside, even though it was raining, but I turned around and forced myself to go to the gym). I got on the treadmill, but could see that was going to be brutal with no iPod, so I decided to do a fast 20 minute interval workout rather than drone away for hours. It was killer.

After that, I hit the basketball court and did lunges up and down the court, squats, pushups on the Bosu ball, dips on the regular ball, bicep curls, and ended by running about 20 flights of stairs. Wow. My glutes are screaming today! It is amazing how running stairs can hurt a girl.

Food was okay not great yesterday - I haven't been to the grocery store in weeks and we're suffering for it. I did limit my portions and eat lots of veggies, but I also picked on some fries at lunch and had a few pieces of candy. Bleh.

I was on such an awesome cooking kick, and I really don't know what happened to it. My friend S. says I just got bored with it, and I think she might be right. I am hosting girl's dinner at my house next Tuesday (seven girls, including me) so if anyone has any ideas for fun, easy recipes to make for us, healthy of course and including some kind of healthy dessert, they are much appreciated. Let me give you an idea of what we usually have:

Last week, a huge chicken Cesar salad, garlic bread and strawberry shortcake for dessert.
Week before, pasta (rigatoni maybe?) baked with low fat mozzarella on top - most of the girl's had sausage but I always get a little one made without meat for me :)
Week before that, homemade mini pizzas and a huge salad.

So you get the idea, it has to be easy and cheap enough to feed seven women, but still yummy right? I was thinking of doing this lemon angel hair pasta and salad but I want something with a little more kick (and maybe more protein?). I usually stick to vegetarian these nights but I'm willing to add some chicken or shrimp or what have you for fun.

On today's agenda - wrapping up my contract work, short run if my booty can handle it, lunch for a friend's birthday, I'll be ordering the soup and salad, and hopefully getting some yard work done this afternoon. My peony's finally opened and they are so pretty! I love my backyard. Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Weigh In, Allergies and Bad Spinning Music

Weigh in yesterday - down 1.4. That is after a one lb gain last week that I conveniently forgot to post. I am so sneaky right? I bet you guys are catching on to my little game by now. Guess who doesn't post when they gain? Me. But I am stopping that right now. I will post even if I gain 8 billion pounds. Because that's how it works around here. I've been really bad about posting and commenting on your blogs and I'm sorry, I just haven't been online/home much so that's getting neglected.

Anyway, things are moving in the right direction, albeit very slowly. Workouts are suffering and I'm just feeling all around flabby, but I just can't seem to get into the kick ass workout groove I was in. I am still getting them in, but just not as frequently and they just aren't as good. I guess I'm in a workout lull. The move is taking up lots of thinking time, but very little doing time. As are all of these doctors appointments.

Yesterday I had to get an abdominal ultrasound and an echo to determine that I don't have a "leaky heart valve" due to this collagen synthesis problem I have. It was weird. The echo was especially weird because your heart is right under your boob and I just felt like I was being molested the whole time. I know I wasn't but still. Weird. Can I say weird some more?

It was kind of nice in a way, because the girl who did it actually has rheumatoid arthritis, and she's only 26, so we started talking about all of the drugs they have for treatment and how they really have no idea what the long term side effects are for people who start so young like we are. She said she just started doing all of this research and freaked out and decided not to treat it at all. But - she said she's adopted a gluten free diet, and that has helped a lot.

So that got me thinking, maybe, just maybe, I could feel better if I looked into what I'm really eating, whether or not I have any food allergies, all that stuff? I don't know if I'm ready to forgo medication completely, but I'm very open to trying other things. I was tested for food allergies in college when my psoriasis was really bad, and of course it came back that I was allergic to like everything, but I kind of blew it off and was like, there is no way I can live like that.

But, this morning I'm looking to see if I can track down all of those old tests. I remember wheat was on there, as were some random things like coconut (which I happen to love). But don't they say you're usually allergic to the things you love/crave/eat most? Yeah probably. So I'm thinking there could be some truth to this allergy thing. Whether or not it helps my arthritis, I don't know, but I'm going to give it some time and see if I can dig up those old records.

In the meantime, the cardiologist thinks my heart is just fine, so I'm relieved about that. I guess I'll try to keep it pumping with some sort of workout this afternoon, after I hit up Denver's most famous vegetarian restaurant with a friend for lunch. Maybe I'll see if i can order something gluten free.

On a completely different note, I went to spinning yesterday and the instructor played this weird classical/house mix the entire time and I HATED it. So did a lot of people I think. It made the workout brutal and it seemed like it took forever. I like spinning to songs I mostly know, even if they are cheesy pop songs, because then at least I know when the song is going to end and we are going to move on to something different. But this was just never ending beats and violins and stuff and I just couldn't hang. Like 6 people left early. I felt bad for her but she didn't seem to mind. I guess they are just trying to bring variety to the classes but I would not be going back to that one.

Okay enough complaining, off to be productive. Have a great day everyone!

Monday, June 02, 2008

What to do?

How was everyone's weekend? Mine was great - not enough downtime but lots of fun. The bachelorette party was fantastic and I ate pretty dang well if I do say so myself. There was lots of laughter and fun and yes, a lot of wine, but overall I think I kept it in check quite well. Yesterday I went to see Sex and the City with my sisters, which was fun just because it was sister time but I thought the movie was kind of a downer. I mean, it was fun to see all the ladies back together again and resume the story, but for a such a supposedly fun-loving story, it seemed pretty down in the dumps a lot of the time. I dunno, it was still fun to go I guess.

This morning I had to go to a meeting about freelancing, after which I was planning on going to spinning, but of course it took three freaking hours, then they asked me to go to lunch, and my whole plan was shot. I know I totally could have gone to the gym after, but I had just eaten and I was tired and hot and whiny and the boy was leaving for the airport and I wanted to see him before he left for the week, and blah blah blah bottom line is I didn't work out today.

Isn't it funny how when you don't work out for a couple of days you get in a slump, and it just becomes easier and easier to stretch it into one more day? Well I know one more day becomes a week and then a month and that would be way too easy to do with all of the stuff we have going on, so I have a plan for tomorrow.

The plan is this:

Get up, breakfast, shower, walk the dog, get to my gyno appt., go straight to the gym, grab lunch from the gym cafe, then get to my dermatologist appt., then come home, walk the dog again, then hit girl's dinner.

I know you were really excited to hear that. But sometimes it just helps to write it all out, you know? I am so freaking sick of all of these doctor's appointments, but I guess I just have to get them all out of the way before we leave.

So, question. I've mentioned we want to blog about Singapore right? Well, problem. This is my fatblog right? And yes, all of my friends know I'm fat. Or overweight. Or whatever. But they don't know about this blog. And no, I don't want them to know. I'm sure the industrious among them could probably find it if they wanted to, and I'm not going to any serious trouble to hide it or anything, but I don't really want to be advertising it so to speak. And I don't want it to be EASY to find.

So the issue is this: How do I blog about Singapore for my friends and family, but make sure you guys are in on it too? That is if you want to be. I know I could just email or write out the link here, but then if anyone comments, it might be easy to trace back to this blog. Too easy.

The boy suggested I have all of our traveling blog posts copy here automatically, but I don't want to hijack this blog that way for people who don't necessarily want to read about that stuff. I could make this blog private, but I know that I'd lose a lot of you because that would be a pain for you guys. The good thing about making this blog private is that I'd probably be a lot more candid here than I am now, and I might go to posting daily weights like I've seen other people do, stuff like that. I might also get to talk about work or other stuff more openly as well. But....I don't want to totally kill the fun that is having people stumble across your blog. And it's not like I have tons of readers or anything, not that that's what I'm really worried about because this is mostly for me, but I like the community I've built with you guys and I wouldn't want to lose that.

So, should I just get over it because I've put myself out there on the innernets for all to see and I should have known this was going to happen? Should I just suck it up and deal with it if people I know stumble across this blog while reading my new blog? Is there anything I'm not thinking of that would allow you guys to read both?

I don't know what to do here. I'm feeling kind of tortured about this and I know it's stupid but shit, I'm a drama queen and it worries me. To anyone out there who does know me and is smirking because I don't know you're reading, please tell me, because then I'll know how to deal with this in a better way.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Weekend Fun

Hi! Sorry I've been MIA for a week, no excuse, just not getting around to posting after we got back from our trip to the lake. We had an amazing time, I am sunburned, dehydrated and overall exhausted, but I'm slowly getting myself back together. It's funny, it's really hard to get back to my normal eating schedule after a weekend of craziness. Since we stayed in my dad's condo on the lake we went to the hilariousness that is Wal-Mart and got groceries for the weekend, meaning I was able to eat fairly normally, except of course of the massive amounts of booze that were consumed over the weekend.

In addition, I spent much time in a swimsuit, making me much more aware of what I was eating. Overall, it wasn't too bad. I had a few body image crisis moments, especially when I saw some of the pics, but it wasn't all bad. I decided I couldn't let those types of worries govern what I was going to do, and dammit I wanted to do water sports. And water sports I did. Wakeboarding (okay I never actually got up, but I tried like a mofo) tubing, and just playing around on the waverunners. I love love love going to this lake. I wish I could go more often.

Before we went to the lake, we went to see my dad, which was nice but probably too short. He's already talking about coming to visit us once again before we leave for Singapore, but honestly there is just no time. Every weekend through June is filled with events, not to mention the fact that we are seriously slacking on getting our shit together before we leave. I did call the phone company about putting our landline on vacation hold while we're gone. Does that count?

I know, I know, who still has a landline? But the boy works from home usually at least three days a week and he likes it for works calls. In fact he's talking (very loudly) on it as we speak.

In other news, I went to the doctor yesterday, was there for three freaking hours, to figure out my arthritis treatment plan, and I feel pretty good about what I'm going to do. I'm going off of my psoriasis medication for a while since that may be exacerbating the problem, then I'm going to try methotrexate for a while and see how I do on that. The one thing that concerns me is that this medication has been known to cause birth defects, and of course if I do decide to start trying (maybe in a year????) I'll go off of it, but it still makes me nervous. I also feel good about my doc monitoring me while I'm gone and working with whoever I find in Singapore, so that's kind of a relief. Thank god for email.

This weekend I should be able to keep it together food and exercise-wise. Tonight we're going to maybe see a movie - I'm dying to see Sex and the City but I don't know if the boy is up for that - or maybe just stay in and lay low, which would give me a chance to cook a healthy dinner and get a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow I have a shower/bachelorette party to attend, but since I'm still sort of recovering from this weekend (do I sense a theme on this blog? I swear I say this every week) I'm going to try to keep the craziness under control. Go, attend the party, have fun and celebrate with the bride, but maybe take it easy on the cocktails and appetizers. It's kind of a weird group of people so we'll see how it goes. I'll definitely get a workout in of some sort before I go.

Speaking of workouts, I better go get mine in for today. I'm thinking a run to the park with some lunges, squats, abs and plyometric type exercises before I run home. Yesterday I hit upper body weights hard, and I'm surely feeling it today.

I'll leave you with a pic from the weekend - me on the wave runner, with a nice shot of one of the boys with a beer in the foreground. Pretty much how the entire weekend went. :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Jean Pain

I know I said I was going away yesterday but I just needed to post my weigh in today. I'm down 2.6 lbs! Now that is based on my weigh in 2 weeks ago, because I skipped last week's weigh in. Two weeks ago I had gained a pound, so really, I'm down 1.6 from my weigh in 3 weeks ago. Which means it took me approximately 3 weeks to lose about a pound and a half. Averaged out to half a pound a week. Le Sigh. Sorry to bore you with all of that math.

Not really le sigh though because I am happy to see this number moving in the downward direction. I was just looking through my graphs, because you know I love the graphs, and I am down about 11 lbs for the year. That starting weight was pretty horrendous and I'm still about 10 lbs above my wedding weight, but I'm getting there.

Interestingly enough, I am fitting fairly well into a pair of (size 32) Lucky jeans I bought a couple of months before the wedding, when I probably weighed at least 6 lbs more than I do now. Now I know that 6 lbs may not sound like that much, but I swear each lb really impacts my body, the way I fit into my clothes, all of that. I was working out like a fiend at the time too, but I wonder if I was working out in a different way or this time around I've lost more inches in different places (e.g. my BUTT). I don't know, but I've decided to keep using these jeans as a barometer. (I've also been in a pair of Old Navy 14's for about a month).

Speaking of jeans, it's always been my dream to fit into some hot ass, really expensive designer jeans. Over the years I've continued to try them on, whether I'm at a higher or lower weight, and over the years I've been frustrated beyond belief by the sizing. I have never, ever been able to find a pair that works for me. So, Nordstrom is having their women's half-yearly sale right now, and I decided to do a little research on the jean situation.

Based on my current pair of Lucky's, a 32 is equal to approximately an American size 14. This sounds about right to me. But looking at the sizing charts of various designer jeans, here is what I found out.

Hudson's are similar to Lucky's - a 32 = 14

Citizen, Seven's, and Paige Premium Denim size 32's = 12

Meanwhile, Rock and Republic and True Religion are just plain mean. Size 32 for them = 10.

To me, this is crazy. Of course the designers are free to size their jeans however they choose, but how upset am I going to be when I finally feel like I can fit into a pair of designer jeans, and I go to get my True Religion's and find I can't even pull them up over my ass. Because really, I still have to go down two more sizes to fit into them!

I know it's a status thing, and to have these jeans you have to be two things: rich, and thin. If you don't have the money, or the size 10 or less booty, you just can't have them. I guess that's how they keep them just out of reach of the fat masses like me. Assholes.

One of these days I'll fit into some designer jeans. In the meantime, I'm just going to take my size XL workout pants to the gym and do kickboxing before I head to the airport. Bye!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Procrastination City

I am having a major problem getting the things done that I need to get done. I think it's a function of me not having enough to do. It's like I only have a few things to do, so I keep putting those few things off. Like I want to stretch them out throughout the week or something. But I'm leaving tomorrow for Texas and I need to clean, organize files, and start cleaning out the guest room, blah blah blah. I guess it's more than a few things, but I just can't seem to get started.

My friend H. is going to rent our house from us while we're in Singapore, which is nice because we'll have a trustworthy person here, and double nice because we're going to leave almost all of our crap as is: furniture, dishes, etc. and she's just going to use it all. Of course we'll clean out closets and that kind of thing so she can move her stuff in, but for the most part we don't have to move too much. One thing is for sure, we won't be taking very much to Singapore. Mostly just clothes, computers and some personal items to help us feel at home.

I think I'm still sort of in denial that I'll be in this other country for six months starting in about six weeks. I'm excited about it, but I don't know that it's really hit me. In fact I don't know if it will until I get there. One thing that isn't helping is that we still don't know where we'll be living. The boy's company is working on that, but I just want to see pictures, that kind of thing. I think it will help things become more real for me.

I just have so many questions. What will my day be like? What will I have for breakfast? I assume they don't sell Thomas Whole Grain Light english muffins there. ;) Will I be able to work out normally? Will I make friends? Will I be lonely?

I know I'll be lonely. I'm sure of it. But I think I'll figure it out. I have to. In the meantime I guess I just have to take one step at a time and get organized. Oh and also enjoy the fun events I have going on until I leave.


So tomorrow I leave for Midland to see my dad, where I'll be for two days with my sister and her BF. Then we'll drive up to the lake on Friday, and that's when the boy flies in with two of our best friends and we'll party like we're 21 again. I haven't even thought about the pain that will be being in a swimsuit around this couple, but honestly, they are our best friends, they know everything about us, and seeing me in all my glory is just one more thing. I may not be a size 6, or 4, or whatever the new perfection is, but I'm not going to let that stop me from having a good time on the lake.

On that note, I guess I should try to go get my shit together. Peace.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Panini Monday

Hello. Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. I did, really enjoyed not having too many plans. The boy and I spent a good chunk of Saturday doing yard work, which is of course not that exciting but very fulfilling. It's always nice to see the fruits of your labor. Yesterday we saw Iron Man, which I actually really liked, even though I'm a movie snob, and then hung out at the park with some friends just playing volleyball and chillin'. Overall, an excellent couple of days.

This morning I ran down to the park, where I did some boot camp style exercises. Up downs (also known as burpies) push ups, tricep dips, squats, lunges, etc. I didn't push it quite as hard as one of those boot camp instructors probably would have, but it was a tough workout nonetheless. Felt good to sweat out all of the beer toxins from the weekend. ;)

I'm making dinner for a friend tonight who may rent our house for the six months we're out of the country. On the menu is a spinach salad and chicken pesto panini's. I cheated and went and got rotisserie chicken for the panini's to make it a bit easier, but my plan is to do chicken, pesto, mozzarella, and sliced tomatoes. Not exactly diet friendly, but I'm fitting it to my daily calorie allotment and I think I'll be fine as long as I keep my portion small.

Also, I know I'm not a teenage girl, but damn I'm excited for Gossip Girl tonight. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the dramz.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Vegas Hangover

Back from Vegas and definitely a little worse for the wear. I guess I just need to accept that I absolutely cannot party like I used to. We had an amazing time, how can 8 girls in Vegas not have an amazing time really, but the 40 hours I was there was more than enough. I drank way too much champagne and generally just partied like a rock star.

Sunday night I got back and all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but of course I had to do some writing that I had put off. That was a dumb idea. But it got done, and then the boy and I hit the couch to catch up and watch a movie. Ratatoullie. It was cute but I know why I put off watching it for so long. It's a cartoon. Duh. I know I totally missed out on Mother's Day, so I hope all of you mothers out there had a great day.

I hadn't worked out for five whole days until today, which I hated, but my ankle needed the rest and after five weeks of boot camp, I think I'm okay with it. I don't want to train my body to think it's going to burn 700 calories every day either, because I know that is going to head me down a road I don't want to go. My ankle is feeling close to 100% now, which is nice.

I did hit an abs class and then a kickboxing class at the gym today, which they just added, and might I say it was quite the workout. The abs class was just okay, but kickboxing was phenomenal. Of course this guy walks in, he has maybe 4% body fat, and he is just ready to rock. He was so ripped, but in a hot, not gross way, and man, did he know how to work it out. I'm so freaking uncoordinated and I'm sure I looked like a fish out of water flailing about, but I got a great workout and had lots of fun. He kept saying "yes you can!" the entire time, which I kind of liked because even though no one said it, I'm sure we were all thinking in our heads "there's absolutely no way I can get my leg to kick that high." It was great, I'll definitely be going back next week.

I'm skipping my weigh in this week because I still feel a bit bloated and out of sorts from the weekend, and I know it won't be what I want to see. I'm leaving for Texas to see my dad for a couple of days and then meet some friends at the lake near Austin, so I have one more week to get in gear before that trip, on which I'm sure I'll party like a rock star again and completely forget how hungover and gross I felt on Sunday. And Monday. And yesterday.

Tomorrow we are going to see Flight of the Conchords! I hope they play their song Jenny in honor of me. :)

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Stupid Hose

Hello. It's Thursday morning and I have a crapload to do before I head to Vegas tomorrow, and I don't know if I'm going to get to post again before I go, so I thought I'd check in and say hi. I'm already having a shitty morning because I forgot to get coffee yesterday so we're out, and when I don't get my caffeine I am not a pretty picture.

Yesterday went exactly as planned. I worked on my article for a good chunk of the day, dropped the boy's kidney stone (yes, the one he got two years ago and has done precisely nothing about) off at the doctor for testing, and then met my mom and my sister for lunch at a new Mexican restaurant by my sister's office. I got the shrimp tacos, but only ate about half. It took everything in my power not to order a giant bean burrito the size of my arm, but I persevered. Mexican food is hard though. It seems like everything is loaded with cheese and sour cream and the tortillas are terrible too. I thought shrimp tacos on corn tortillas was a good choice, and I took off most of the cabbage and sauce goo goo they had on there.

Last night at boot camp we did all indoor stuff, a lot of boxing and "learned" how to jump rope. Well I thought I knew how to jump rope, but apparently there is something of an art to it. And, believe it or not, I'm a "natural" according to the instructor. That just makes me laugh my ass off. It's the way you tap your toes and move the rope around I guess that makes jumping rope such a great exercise for boxers. Think Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. That's exactly how I looked. Oh except with about 40 more lbs on. Yeah. It was a nice, sweaty workout and I felt great afterward.

So when I got home last night after girl's dinner what did I do? Promptly tripped on the hose (that I left out) and turned my left ankle. Hard. Like I was writhing around on the grass in the dark trying not to cry. It hurt so effing bad. I iced it last night and mainlined some advil, but it is still pretty swollen and hurty this morning. Which means, unless it gets better throughout the day, I might be missing the last day of boot camp. The day we test to see how far we've come. And I'm pissed dammit! I don't want to miss it.

But, as the boy said last night, I better not push it if I want to avoid really injuring myself. The other thing I'm pissed about is Vegas. I do not want to be walking around in ugly supportive shoes if we are going to clubs and what not. Not that I'm a big club person, but I'm just going to go with what the ladies want to do and I'm sure we'll get dressed up and go out. It's not really that bad right now, but it certainly hurts, so I'm just going to see how I feel this afternoon but I doubt I'm doing a whole of activity for the next few days.

Today is lunch with another friend (I'm really lunching it up these days but now that I'm not working in an office it's one of the only ways I get to connect with some of my friends) maybe or maybe not boot camp and then shows with the boy. I love Thursdays, so much good TV, so little time. We usually save Lost for Saturday morning so we can rewind everything about a million times, but I guess we'll watch it tonight since I'll be leaving.

Vegas here I come!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Weigh In

Up 1 lb this week. Boo! I lost 1 last week so the last two weeks have been a wash I guess. I know working out doesn't give me a license to eat crap, and that's what I did a couple of days this weekend, even if it was in smaller amounts, so I just have to take this gain for what it is. It's funny, every night at boot camp my heart rate monitor says I burn at least 700 calories, but I know I could completely cancel that out with one tiny little blizzard at Dairy Queen (the boy's new obsession - why oh why?!?) or some spinach dip out with friends or a million other yummy foods.

This is the last week of boot camp and I'm kind of sad to see it go, but I'm also really excited to get back to doing the workouts I want to do. I think I've mentioned this, but this is the first camp at the new downtown location and they've been trying out different instructors on us. While it's nice to have lots of different types of instructors, sometimes I don't think they talk enough about what the person did the night before. So last week we did tons of cardio and not enough weights for my taste, and this week we've done shoulders both on Monday and Tuesday. Don't get me wrong I know my shoulders need work, but we've barely done any biceps at all this camp and I want to do that too.

Last night was another really tough workout and I'm feeling it today for sure. Lots of push ups, dips, and shoulder presses, along with running around the park 5 freaking times and jumping rope for a year and a half. After the workout the boy and I went to get sushi for dinner, which was yummy, but today I feel sort of bloated and puffy. All the soy sauce I guess. I've always considered sushi a really healthy meal, but salt really does do a number on me as a get older. Wow even just writing that made me feel old. And now to talk about my arthritis, which isn't an old people disease at all, right?

Last week when I got my arthritis diagnosis, they took a ton of blood to run a bunch of tests. Yesterday I got a call that my complete blood count (CBC) test came back low, so they want me to come back in and have it redone. I'm going on Monday for an MRI of my foot anyway to see if I have any erosion in my joints, so I'm just going to have it done then, but I'm wondering what that means. My mom said (and the Internets confirmed) that they use CBC as a test for anemia sometimes, which could make sense given I don't eat red meat. But I eat a ton of spinach, so I don't know, that sounds sort of weird to me.

I guess I'll find out next week.

Today it's rainy and gloomy, which I secretly love. I've got a lot of writing to do this morning, taking the dogger to the groomer, lunch with my sister and then more writing before boot camp and girl's dinner tonight. Should be a fun-filled, rainy day!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Back to it Monday

I feel like crap-o-la today. I wasn't totally off track this weekend - did pretty well up until yesterday, but my body is just so much more sensitive to what I put into it and this weekend I did not give it lots of fruit and vegetable and water love.

Especially yesterday I guess - we did an early Mother's Day lunch. I had a Bloody Mary (hey, vegetable juice, right?) while sitting out in the sun, and along with my Avocado Benedict (delicious, and I only ate half) I thought I wasn't doing too bad. But then I had some crappy snacks, some beers, and we ended up going to a crappy pizza joint (really crappy, I've had frozen pizza a million times better) and now I just feel crappy. I didn't even eat that much, stayed under 1500 calories, but it was 1500 of the wrong calories. The worst part about eating gross food is that you know you just put all of these gross calories and fat into you, and the food wasn't even that good or worth it. I'd much rather gain weight from eating things like high-end cheese and gelato. But I do still like the beer.

Anyway, couple all of that with a weekend of poor sleep (having guests always does that to me) and no working out for three days and I just feel bloated and gross. I'm trying to chug water, reintroduce the veggies and just have an all-around good day - just like most of my other Mondays, especially because I know I've got another really tough weekend ahead of me.

A bachelorette party in Vegas. I know there will be lots of drinking and probably not good eating, and I'm preparing myself for that, so I want to stay in my really good place before I go.

This is the last week of boot camp, and I'm prepared to kick major ass this week in both the exercise and the food arenas. When I get back from Vegas I have lots of doctors appointments to figure out how to treat this arthritis, a lot of stuff to do to get ready for our move, and only two weeks before we go to the lake with some friends.

I'm still not so sure I'm ready to be in a swimsuit, but I am glad that I've dropped at least five or so extra pounds. I'd like to say I could drop five more by that trip, but I'm not sure. I guess a girl can try, right? Hope everyone has a nice Monday.

ETA: By the way, my mom is doing much better. I think she just had food poisoning. That's what she gets for eating at a place called Chubby's. LOL.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Mom to my Mom

Happy Friday! I'm super duper tired this morning because I didn't get to bed until about 1:30, and even then I didn't sleep well at all. Last night was hectic and crazy, but I'm hoping it sets the stage for a good weekend.

First: boot camp. Last day of week four, and it was brutal brutal. So brutal I almost puked. We ran the entire time. It's no secret here that I'm one of the slowest in the group, but on the way back from our run out (it was kind of staggered and interspersed with some squats, lunges and sprints so we all kept catching up to each other) we ran together for the entire 30 minutes home. Now I'm no stranger to long runs - I did that half marathon in October and I know how to manage that. But I am a stranger to running fast, and running without any walking breaks at all. I had to keep pace with the group, and the instructor decided V. and I (another one of the slower girls) were going to do it come hell or high water.

So to keep us moving at a fast pace, he did this technique where he put two fingers on the small of our backs (he traded off every once in a while) and sort of "pushed" us along. It was only two fingers, but it really did help. He also talked to us pretty much nonstop about our breathing, our pace, etc. It was actually really nice to have someone help me out like that (this is not the instructor I was previously worried about) and I ended up running the whole way back MUCH faster than I normally run. I even sprinted at the very end, and that's what led to the almost puking incident. It was hard. Painfully hard. But I was so freaking proud of myself afterward. And honestly, I'd say we ended up running almost 5 miles when all is said and done. It was great. And if I have to do it again I think I will kill someone. ;)

After boot camp I came home to my clean house (love a clean house just before guests arrive), hopped in the shower, almost fell down in the shower, and realized I needed some food pretty immediately. So I went downstairs, made myself a protein shake, half a sweet potato and a delicious salad with mixed greens, goat cheese, craisins, and balsamic viniagrette and watched some Thursday night TV. I had to leave to pick up my aunt from the airport around 8:30.

The plan was to take her back to my parents, where she is staying, but since they were at the hockey game (umm, not so great) we decided to go have a drink while waiting for them and waiting for my cousin's flight to get in. Well little did we know that my mom was actually at home, throwing up, and had been for hours. When my sister called to ask how my mom was doing, I had no idea. I felt so bad, here we were sitting and chatting, when she was home alone so sick.

So we rushed to her house, then I rushed out and bought her some Pepto and 7Up. I think she had food poisoning, I swear, in all of my 28 years, I have never seen my mother this sick. I felt awful. It's so weird when it's turned around, this woman who has taken care of me so many times when I'm sick, and here I am taking care of her. I just talked to her this morning and she's finally feeling better so I'm glad to hear that.

I finally left to come home around 11:30, was home before 12, and waited on the boy to come home with cousin and her husband. He ended up taking a later flight and arriving at the airport around the same time they did, so it worked out that I didn't have to go pick them up after all. Everyone was finally home and in bed by 1:30, but it was a big night for sure.

It looks like everyone is just getting up and around, so I better run. Wish me luck on eating out this weekend. Hope you all have a great one!