Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Road Trip Goals

Well I was right. That feeling didn't last. I even did 45 minutes on the elliptical this morning, but I'm pissy because of lack of a job and money. It's starting to wear on me. So we're leaving tonight at 5:30ish. I got up waaaaay to late this morning, so all I've had to eat today is a whole wheat english muffin with peanut butter on it. And I did my workout. So now I'm about to have a very late lunch, something healthy and low point, and I'll have hopefully about 10-12 points left over for dinner on the road. I'm going to bring a banana and a few other healthy snacks, so I should be all good.

As far as tomorrow goes, I know we will stop at Taco Villa for lunch. I love Taco Villa. I'll probably be eating out a lot over the weekend, so my goal is to eat a salad or side of veggies with every meal, to keep me full and from eating all of the other bad stuff. And dessert only twice. If I can stick to those goals, I will call the weekend a success. I'll try to post from the road, but if not, I'll see you Monday!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

What is that Feeling?

I'm feeling good. It's great when all systems are go and it feels like you're just sailing along. I know this feeling won't last though. But when it goes away, when I'm feeling down and bloated and like I'm always going to be fat no matter what so why even bother, I need to remember this feeling. And I need to remember that it's exercise that gives me this feeling.

We rode 14.74 miles today, in 1 hour and four minutes. I averaged 14.3 mph, which I think is pretty good considering my beginner status. Being on the bike just makes me feel so good. It just makes me feel outdoorsy, which is one of my goals. Nicole over at Anonymous Fat Woman posted today about an amazing run she had where she ran into a deer, and it just kept her going. It's that kind of feeling I love, that I want to preserve forever.

So I'm still doing very well with working out, and eating is going well too. I was going to weigh-in tomorrow since I'll be out of town on Friday, but I decided I'm just going to skip weigh in this week instead of short changing myself by two days. You know I'll weigh myself as soon as I get home on Sunday night, but I won't post anything official here until next Friday, August 5. OMG I can't believe it's going to be August.

So tomorrow I'll post my goals for my road trip. I'll do an elliptical workout in the morning and eat well all day, and we'll leave around 5:30. From then on, I'm sure it will be a struggle. If you've ever been to west Texas and you've been to Taco Villa, you'll know what I'm facing. But I will have goals, and I will achieve them. I feel good. More tomorrow...

Monday, July 25, 2005

New Challenge(s)

Renee has started a new challenge, and I've signed myself for two beakers of fat by Labor Day. That's 10 lbs people, or 175.5 by Labor Day. I can do this! I feel really good today and I'm just hoping this feeling stays! We went grocery shopping last night and stocked up on good stuff so I'm all set for the week. Of course I'm leaving Wednesday night and I'll be gone until Sunday, but at least I'll have good stuff to eat until then.

While the eating/workout side of things has been great, I am experiencing new and annoying life maintenance challenges. I went to register my car today and of course I didn't bring my checkbook and they only take cash or check. Figures. So I have to go back tomorrow. Still no job, which means I'm enjoying life but terrified at the same time. Why does money control me like this? It's scary.

The weather here is crazy, so we're canceling the bike ride for tonight. I guess I'll have to save that for tomorrow as well. Why can't I just sell my car and just ride my bike all over town. I'd love to, and if I still lived in D.C. I might, but the public transportation in Denver just sucks and a car is a necessary evil. Feh.

Off to make dinner. Not that I'm cooking. But heating up at least. Salad, corn on the cob, zucchini, and Morningstar Farms Honey Mustard Chik'n Tenders. Yummy!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Weekend Wrap Up

Good weekend overall, but maybe not so much eating wise. I drank too much on Friday, which led to overeating Friday night and pretty much all day Saturday. Such is life. I have no control over my eating habits after I've been drinking. In fact, I often rationalize eating after a night of drinking because I think it will absorb the alcohol or something. I don't want to completely eliminate alcohol because its part of my social life and I enjoy a night on the town, but I'm going to work on sticking to having no more than 4 drinks in one night. I should be able to do that without a problem.

So after taking Saturday off from working out, we decided to do a ride tonight. We were hoping to do a little over the 10 miles we did on Friday, but the sky was looking a little dark so we weren't sure. Well, we hit about 5.2 miles and started seeing dark skies and lightning in the distance, so we decided to head back. It started raining at about mile 6, and was pouring and crazy lightning by 7.5. I was freaking out, envisioning getting fried by lightning and never seeing my family again, so we pulled over at a gazebo at 4 Mile Park and sat it out for a bit. When the lighting had moved on we decided to head back. It was still pouring, which slowed us down and soaked us in the end, but it was a good ride besides that. We did 10.5 miles or so in about 50 minutes (minus waiting time) and I burned around 840 calories. Then of course I came home and had spaghetti and Dreyer's Grand Light. Oh well, I'm eating those activity points I guess.

Monday - Thursday are usually my hardcore days, which they will be again this week except for the fact that I'm driving to Texas to see my dad and grandparents starting Wednesday night, and eating on the road is always tough. I'm going to do my best to keep it under or at points these next days, but I know I need to work on my weekend eating as well. I can't just eat shit all weekend and then expect a loss because I was on plan for four day. Four out of seven days is barely even 50%. And if I want to lose this weight I've got to give it 100%.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Weigh-In Day

Official weigh-in 185.5. Down 1 lb this week. I think it would have been more, but I did have the monthly visitor yesterday and I lifted weights for the first time in a couple of weeks, so my muscles may be holding some water. Or I may have only lost 1 lb. Which is fine. I've been back on track 4 weeks now though, and I guess I'm starting to get impatient. Last year my lowest weight was 173, and I want to be there now. Like I said last week though, I know this is a slow process and I just need to focus on the fact that I am losing at a healthy rate.

I also said last week that I wanted to be bursting at the gills with veggies, and I didn't really accomplish that goal. I think that will be an ongoing goal for the rest of my life, if I'm being honest. I'm not feeling quite as whiny today as I was yesterday, but I guess I'm still kind of cranky. It's also the beginning of the weekend, and the weekend and my lack of food control over the weekend scares me.

It's an ongoing conflict in my head. Am I going to look back on my 20's and say, "Why was I fat, why didn't I take care of this sooner?" Or am I going to say "Wow, I was so concerned about my weight that I didn't go out and have fun with my friends. Instead I sat at home and worried about what my next meal was going to be." It's just about finding that happy medium, where I'm taking care of myself, losing weight and becoming my future me, but still doing the things that my friends do and going out to restaurants and happy hours and being social. It's hard. Okay I guess I am being whiny.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Free Weights, Monthly Visitor, and other Blathering

Okay I'm clearly new to this blogging thing, but I want to post my stats on the sidebar and I have no idea how? Anyone out there? Bueller? Hmmm, hopefully I'll figure it out.

Today I was visited by the lovely Aunt Flo, and I'm definitely feeling it. Sluggish, bloated, hungry, and all around cranky. I forced myself into the gym though and did a short walk/jog warmup, then free weights for a while. I know I need to step it up with the weights because I can tell I'm sorely lacking in muscle tone. It's flab city over here yall. But I just hate it. I know I sound whiny and I need to just suck it up and do it, but I effing hate lifting weights. I was doing the Firm tapes for a while and I liked doing that, but since I've moved back to Denver I don't have my free weights, so I've been going to the little gym in our complex.

Okay that's a lie. My free weights are still in my car. It's just that every time I come up, I always seem to have something in my hands, and those weights are heavy, you know? Damn I'm lazy. I guess I'm going to have to suck it up and get them out so I can get back with the Firm, because I absolutely loathe lifting weights in the gym and my workouts suffer because of it. So the new plan is, cardio will be biking and elliptical, but hopefully biking, and Firm tapes at least 2x a week.

In other workout news, we've decided to do the Buffalo Bicycle Classic, so I have a race to train for! I'll probably just start with the 35 miler because I don't want to overdo it, but now I'm really stoked because I have something to train for. And it benefits my dear ol' CU, and the college of Arts and Sciences scholarship fund. I can't wait. Now I need a training plan. Hmm, guess I'll have to hit the trusty net for that.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Road Bike Goddess

Well we did it, and it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought. Last night we left around 7 and rode to REI. The ride was 4.33 miles, we were averaging almost 14 miles per hour. To me, I think that is amazing for my first real ride on a road bike. I'm so proud of myself. At times I felt like I could have even gone faster, but I feel a little wobbly on the bike still. I think I just need to get used to balancing properly.

I wore the cycling shorts I had purchased earlier in the day, but I'm still a little self conscious about my legs so I wore my workout pants over them and just rolled them up for the ride. I must say, the padding in the cycling shorts feels a bit like a diaper at first, but it is worth it. I tried on a few more pairs while we were at REI, but I was happy with my earlier purchase at The Sporting Woman.

The boy is also self conscious about the cycling shorts, but I talked him into buying some. He also bought a snazzy jersey, and he's so cute and excited about this new sport we've decided to tackle. I love seeing him like this; it gets me excited to get out there and kick some ass! It helps so much to have a buddy/partner/friend to work out with, no matter if its riding or running or yoga (not that I do yoga, but I'd like to) or anything else.

So the ride home is where I realized that yes, cycling is actually quite hard. Apparently on the way there we were heading slightly downhill, but it wasn't really noticeable. Well the uphill climb on the way back was much more difficult. We still pushed it though, and I burned 710 calories on an almost 9 mile ride. Not as much as I might do on a hardcore elliptical workout, but it feels great because I'm pushing my body to do something new.

We road directly to Whole Foods, which is very close to our place, and had a nice salad for dinner. Now I usually don't like eating as late as 9, but I had a lot of points left for the day and I had just done a great workout, so it worked out fine. I felt great, and I still feel great about it as of this morning. It's amazing what vigorous exercise can do for a person.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Goin' Ridin'

Where have I been? Well apparently no one wants to blog when they aren't doing a good job. And I think I understand why. I haven't been binging, or going too far off points, but I can't say I'm doing a good job. My goal for this week was to get in the veggies. I've been doing okay on that, but not nearly as good as I'd like to be. Still a few more days left until weigh-in day though, so I'm going to try to compensate for lost time.

As far as exercise goes, I seem to lose the drive to exercise whenever the boy is home. He took Friday and Monday off, thus the lack of exercise this weekend. I did my 45 minutes on the elliptical on Friday, and then I'm not sure what happened after that. We had an early BBQ on Saturday. I drank too much and I ruined my chances of working out on Sunday. But yesterday we went bike shopping, and I am filled with a newfound desire to get my butt outside. Lookit what I got!

I am so pumped. I've been reading Joy's road bike shopping adventures, and I knew the boy was really itching to buy one, so when we went shopping yesterday I was psyched to find something that really fit me properly and that I knew I'd want to ride. And I did.

We spent the entire day going to various shops and riding and then finally purchasing! Who knew cycling was such an expensive sport? There are just so many things to get; locks, pumps, extra tubes, gloves, helmet, and on and on and on. But I tried to refrain as much as possible, so I don't yet have the fancy shoes or clip in pedals or anything. By the time I got home yesterday and walked the dogger and scarfed a Lean Cuisine, it was too late to actually take the new bike out for a spin. Damn!

But we're going tonight. And with the desire to ride I've found the desire to eat right as well. I feel great today, but anxious to get out there. I just have to wait for the boy to get home. It scares me that today is one of the hottest days of the year so far, but hopefully it should cool off a little this evening. And it scares me that we're doing about 9 miles round trip for our first ride. I hope we can do it! We're going to ride over to REI and look at cycling shorts, so that should be an adventure. I just hope I can get my legs in some of those shorts without having them look like sausages. I'll let you know how the ride goes tomorrow morning!

Friday, July 15, 2005

Weigh-In Day

And the verdict is...

Down .5 to 186.5. This is encouraging. That's 3.5 lbs in the 3 weeks since I've been back OP, which is a healthy rate of weight loss. I feel good. Of course, I'd love to be losing 2 lbs every single week and hit goal in a matter of months, but I know this is the way to do it and keep it off. And, to top it off, I'm doing it in a way that makes me sane.

Years of dieting have taught me that if I'm too strict with myself, I'm just setting myself up for failure. I do need structure, which is where WW Online comes in, but I absolutely cannot forbid myself any one type of food. I need to be able to go out with my friends and have a few beers. And I need to be able to eat my ice cream, or a tootsie roll, or nachos or whatever it is. I just need to be able to do it in moderation, and make sure that most of my daily calories come from healthy foods. And I guess that is where the healthy living tools or whatever they are called come in.

So that brings me to my goal for this week. More veggies. Getting enough veggies is a constant struggle. I'm not going to have any other goals, nothing concerning weight loss or points or anything else, just the veggies. Of course I'd like to see a bigger loss than what I saw this week, and I want to stay within points, but getting my veggies in will be the focus. Tonight we're going out somewhere nice, so I should be able to do veggies on the side. And tomorrow is a BBQ, so I'll go to the farmer's market in the morning and get stuff for kabobs. By next Friday, I should be bursting at the gills with all the nutrients I've gotten from my veggies.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


Thank God for other bloggers. I've been reading a ton of weight loss blogs over the past year, but I never comment. Now that I have my own blog though and I've linked to a few of my favorites, I guess I should let you guys know who I am. When I started this blog I was terrified of using my real name. But you know what? If these amazing ladies can do it, so can I. My name is Jeni! Yay!

After reading Wendy's post today, I got to thinking. I have changed. Even though I may screw up every time I go to my mom's house for dinner, I still know how to get back on the horse and do this weight loss thing. I went to Panera for lunch today and had a salad today instead of the mayo-licious tuna that I love. And I didn't have a cookie. So I'm doing good. In fact I'm doing great. I kick ass! (This is just a little positive self-talk, so bear with me).

My weigh-in is tomorrow, and while I don't really expect a loss, I think I should be okay. And if I'm not, I'll be okay next week.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Dammit! This is a brand new blog, it's supposed to be about my all new good habits and healthy lifestyle. And I've been completely off plan for two days in a row now. I went home to hang out with my mom and sisters today for a while, and I don't know what it is about being in the house I grew up in but it just kills me. We went to Jason's Deli for lunch, and I had the lowfat turkey wrap which was good, but I had about a zillion of those yummy gingerbread muffin thingies.

Pasta for dinner, and then comes the ice cream. I just can't avoid the ice cream at my moms. Argh. I feel guilty and blobby, if you know what it's like to overeat you'll know what blobby feels like. A million times I've said this, but I will be on plan tomorrow. Fruits and veggies, 24 points, at least 45 minutes of cardio. I have a job interview tomorrow so I need to do this to feel confident about myself. No more blobiness.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Leisure Time

Actually, "Leisure Time" was supposed to be the name of my post that I was writing this afternoon, but then my sister dropped by unexpectedly and checked her email and she shut down Firefox before I could post. Damn! And it was a good post. So I'll give you the jist below, but I'm not really in the same mood, which I'll explain below.

Originally, I was waxing poetic about how much leisure time I have. We moved back to Denver from D.C. about a month ago, and I quit a decent job to do so. Not a job I loved, but a decent job. So now I don't have a job. And while I'm stressing about money, it does have its benefits. I have a ton of leisure time. I'm sleeping like 9 or 10 hours a night. I'm taking the dogger on long walks. I'm keeping up with laundry. And to top it all off, I'm working out a ton, and eating at home, mostly healthy meals. All of this is leading to what I'd like to think is a fairly healthy lifestyle, except of course the stress about not having a job.

But it begs the question. When I do have a job, when I have to work 45+ hours a week and am stressed and tired, will I keep up these good habits? Will I get 9 or 10 hours of sleep a night? Will I take the dogger on long walks? Will I work out and eat healthy meals at home? I'll do my best, but I know it'll be much more difficult. Sheer lack of leisure time will prevent me from doing all of these things I'm doing now.

I feel good about my new habits. I feel like I can keep them up. But it scares me, thinking about change. I have a plan for now, and that's to plan my day, down to every last minute. I will make time to work out and cook healthy meals. It will happen. I just have to believe in that.

Of course now that I'm home from happy hour and nachos this all kind of sounds like bullshit, considering my healthy habits seem to have flown out the window as soon as an invitation to go out comes along. But I'm taking it in stride, because I did work out today, and all of my other meals were healthy, and I'll make good decisions tomorrow. It's a give and take. It's making good decisions in the wake of bad ones. One night of beer and nachos won't ruin me. I have healthy habits to fall back on to, and tomorrow I'll get up and eat my yogurt for breakfast and do my workout and I'll be all the better for it. My healthy habits are here to stay.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Perfect Sunday

I wish every Sunday could be as great as this one has been. I slept great with the boy finally back in town. I forget how much I miss him during the night. We got up, took the dogger on a walk and got him a new harness, which I'm afraid is a bit big but we'll work it out. This afternoon we went on a long bike ride, about 75 minutes, and my heart rate monitor says I burned a whopping 1184 calories. Is that even possible?

I just got this heart rate monitor a few weeks ago, and I'm consistently amazed by the number of calories it says I am buring during my workouts. According to this, I could be eating way more. I guess that explains why I still lost 1 lb last week even though I went waaaayyyyy over my points for the week. Interesting.

Still, I don't want to get into the habit of eating too much and expecting a loss. But then again, I don't want to train my body to only be able to lose weight on a tiny amount of calories. It's all about finding the right balance I think.

Anywho, back to the perfect Sunday. After the bike ride I had a delicious turkey sandwich, went shopping for the week, and now I'm settled in for some Haagen-Dazs Light mint chip ice cream and some Entourage. Perfect.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Chips for Dinner

I had chips for dinner last night. I failed to plan. These are not the actions of someone who is actually trying to live a healthy lifestyle. It's funny how this tends to occur on days I take off from working out. Yesterday was a well deserved day off, and the day started out great eating wise. Then of course I went to a barbeque and the options for a non-red meat-eater were nill.

So I had some crostini. Then I had some Sun Chips. Then I had some Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips. Ahh such is life. And while I did not get any of the necessary nutrients yesterday, at least I didn't supplement my all-chip dinner with another second, even worse dinner. That is something I would have done in my past. Clearly this was not a good start to the weekend, but I'm starting fresh today. I took the dogger to the farmer's market, bought some new workout socks at my new favorite store, and now I'm going to do my 45 minutes on the elliptical.

Tonight I'll have a healthy, balanced meal. No chips.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Inaugural Post

If I put myself out there for all of the world to see, okay not all the world but still lots and lots of people, will it help motivate me anymore? I doubt it. I've gone down the road where I announce my weight loss goals to those around me in hopes that fear of recognizable failure will push me further, but it hasn't. I've also done the dieting in secret, telling people "No, I just don't feel like having any ice cream tonight." Yeah right. I love ice cream. Love it. Not as much as my dog but I'm telling you I love this stuff. I guess it's part of the reason why I'm overweight to begin with. So I'm putting myself out there for you guys, but mostly just for me, as the weight loss blogs I read every day are part of what motivates me to keep trying.

Anyway, moving on. Last year I lost 30 lbs using WW flex. I started in January, stopped actually losing in about October, and started gaining around the holidays. Things happened, I lost my focus, and my drive. Typical of any yo yo dieter I'm sure. So now I'm back up to 187 and I want to get back down to where I was and ultimately hit my goal weight of 140. But more than that, I want to stop focusing on the dieting so much. Yes I'll still count points (no meetings, just online). Yes I'll still watch the scale. But now I'm back in Colorado and I have a bike. And it's summer and I have been getting outside every day. I'm working out, taking care of my body, but I'm becoming someone else too. Is it possible that I could become outdoorsy? I hope so. That's what I want.

I'll write here about my day to day successes and struggles, the food I eat, the workouts I do, my dog, my boyfriend, my family, my thoughts on life, and probably everything else too. Woo hoo, here I go, for my inaugural post. OMG I can't believe I'm doing this.