Monday, October 19, 2009

Failure Happens

Oh hi. I haven't been around here in a couple of weeks, and for that I'm sorry. A few rough things happened, including a major bout of insomnia (more on this later), getting sick and the death of my hard drive, and I've been trying to put things back together again. My weight is the same, no real gains, no real losses. I'm sick of maintaining. But you've heard that sad song before. So I'm not going to sing it.

I'm here to say I don't know if I'm going to make my 160 by December goal. I'm still trying, but I'm cutting myself some slack with the realization that I want to enjoy fall, enjoy Halloween and the onslaught of food that comes with all of the holidays, and I don't want to feel guilty about it. No I'm not throwing the baby out with the bathwater and I am still actively trying to lose weight. In fact I am still going to try to make that goal of 160. I'm just giving myself permission to fail I guess.

Is that the right way to go about it? Some will say no. Some think you can't cut yourself any slack, and if you do you are just setting yourself up to fail. I was probably one of those people way back when. But I'm not like that anymore, I CAN'T be like that anymore. I don't want to be miserable because I'm forcing myself to follow some arbitrary rules that I put in place. I won't. So yes, I hope to make my 160 goal by December 17. That is still 8 weeks away and stranger things have been done. But if I don't, well, that's just going to have to be ok.

Anyway, tonight is Monday Night Football and the Broncos are playing, so my sister and brother-in-law are coming over for tacos. I bought the Garden of Eatin Blue Corn Taco Dinner Kit because it was the only taco seasoning packet I could find without MSG and only taco shells I could find without hydrogenated oils, so I'll be using that and some ground organic turkey to whip up a healthy, fun taco night. Reading ingredients is something I will never stop doing now that I've started, but honestly it is so depressing. I feel like everything I look at has SOMETHING wrong with it. MSG, trans-fat, GMOs, high-fructose corn syrup, the list is endless.

All I know is I feel good about the choices I make when it comes to being conscious about my purchasing decisions. I really do feel like I'm voting with my wallet when it comes to grocery shopping. So yeah, I may not be perfect when it comes to weight loss, but for the most part I am a healthy, conscious consumer and I'm putting good things into my body. Even if it is full-fat cheese.

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