So here's the deal: I applied to a local school, was accepted into their nutrition program and signed up for a nutrition class that starts next week. I decided I'd take the one class just to see if I liked it - just to get a feel and really see what it's like to be back in the classroom (well the online classroom anyway) and to see if I really like the subject matter. I mean I know I like reading food and nutrition and weight loss and fitness blogs and what not, but I don't know if or how that might actually translate into a career. And I don't know if I want to spend a ton of money and time trying to find out.
So fine, I was going to take this class, and just see. But now I had this interview this week, and it went pretty well, and I'm actually pretty excited about it, and I have a second interview next Thursday. And even though I'm interested in the nutrition thing, and I probably still have a long way to go before I find out if I get this job or not, I've started worrying. Worrying about my ability to take a class and start a new job. Worrying about the money it's going to cost us for me to even take this ONE class, let alone more. Worrying about whether or not it would be a mistake to completely abandon a career that I've worked hard for and spent a lot of time and effort on. And that frankly, I still enjoy and get excited about for the most part. I mean I'll never be like my dental hygienist friend who absolutely LOVES going to work every.single.day but I don't think I'd be like that with any job.
Anyway, the point is, tuition is due tomorrow and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about deferring the class until the fall, so that way I can at least see what happens with this job, but what if I don't get it and I end up wishing I would have taken the class? But what if I do get it and I've spent a lot of money to take this class that I'm not going to be able to focus on completely?
I don't know. Part of me just wants something - anything - to help me feel productive and like I'm learning. But I don't want to waste money just to feel that way. Ugh. If only I knew what was going to happen with this job. I just don't know if I can handle another rejection right now.