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I am alive I swear. Things are just hard for me right now so I'm doing the typical weight loss blogger thing of avoiding my blog. I just don't know what to write. I can't focus, I'm not dedicated. I think I'm just so overwhelmed with everything that's going on in my life that I'm finding it hard to give my weight loss the true mindshare it needs.

You see, when I'm really in the groove, losing consistently, it's because weight loss is the center of my attention at all times. I plan, I think about food, I work out. I'm slightly obsessed, but in a good way. Right now I just can't do that. Every day after work I'm either looking at houses or doing something for the wedding, and there just isn't the time to cook and plan and do all of the things I know I should be doing.

Reading through this right now, I know it sounds like a load of whiney excuses. And basically that's what it is. I just need to figure out how to get my shit together. I am working out, which is probably the only thing that's saving me from gaining one thousand pounds. In fact, today I ran 30 minutes without stopping, my longest yet, and was spotted on my bench press by a local weatherman. (I didn't realize it was him until after I'd asked). I'm more confident in what I can do physically, yet I can't seem to stop stuffing my face.

I've made great changes, I really have. The type of foods I'm eating are much better than they used to be. But bottom line is, I'm still consuming to many calories, and that has to change.