Sunday, April 23, 2006

Here

I am alive I swear. Things are just hard for me right now so I'm doing the typical weight loss blogger thing of avoiding my blog. I just don't know what to write. I can't focus, I'm not dedicated. I think I'm just so overwhelmed with everything that's going on in my life that I'm finding it hard to give my weight loss the true mindshare it needs.

You see, when I'm really in the groove, losing consistently, it's because weight loss is the center of my attention at all times. I plan, I think about food, I work out. I'm slightly obsessed, but in a good way. Right now I just can't do that. Every day after work I'm either looking at houses or doing something for the wedding, and there just isn't the time to cook and plan and do all of the things I know I should be doing.

Reading through this right now, I know it sounds like a load of whiney excuses. And basically that's what it is. I just need to figure out how to get my shit together. I am working out, which is probably the only thing that's saving me from gaining one thousand pounds. In fact, today I ran 30 minutes without stopping, my longest yet, and was spotted on my bench press by a local weatherman. (I didn't realize it was him until after I'd asked). I'm more confident in what I can do physically, yet I can't seem to stop stuffing my face.

I've made great changes, I really have. The type of foods I'm eating are much better than they used to be. But bottom line is, I'm still consuming to many calories, and that has to change.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

You'll be ok! A couple of weeks ago I just couldn't seem to get back in control either. But then I just decided one day that I was going to go back to eating right and exercising and it wasn't so hard to get back into the groove of things. I'm sure you'll be great!

snackiepoo said...

It's hard to get back in control once you have lost it because it is always about starting "tomorrow" but ya know what? I have restarted so many times and still have a net loss of 100 lbs so you can totally do it when you are ready! And NONE of us judge you!

alea said...

Oh Jeni, You know that I know how you feel, don't you? I've been doing the very same thing again and again and over again... But like Hilly said - you can restart as many times you need to. The most important thing is that you don't give up! I've just restarted again today, so come and join me! Let's just try again and give it our best, even if it's not perfect.