So I think I just needed to complain a little last night, and I'm glad I got it out, because I think I'm over it. I feel much better today. I had a good eating day today - avoided ice cream and two potentially negative food situations.
I also made it to the gym tonight, just a short interval workout on the treadmill, but it is truly amazing how getting your heart rate up for even just a little bit improves your mood.
So I'm doing some work with some high school students right now and today we met a few of them to discuss what we're doing. For a half an hour I sat and talked to a high school senior, an incredibly intelligent girl who is definitely going places.
During the half hour we talked, she consumed the following:
2 large slices of cheese pizza
One peach smoothie
Two squares of chocolate.
I assume this was approximately 1000 - 1100 calories by the looks of it all.
And this girl was a twig! Now she also plays tennis and is going through some serious growth and probably has the metabolism of a hummingbird. But wow. It made me realize just what a screwed up relationship I have with food. If I sat and ate what she just ate, I would have flogged myself and felt guilty for the entire rest of the day. I'm trying to let go of that type of behavior, but it isn't always easy.
I hope so much for that girl that she can maintain a normal relationship with food. That she doesn't gain weight, and then lose it and then do it again and again and again. That no asshole calls her fat when she's really not. That she loves and is loved, no matter what her body size.
I truly hope that for her, and for me too, and all of you guys too.
Ta ta - I'm off to watch some skinny people act like doctors. :)