Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Packing packing packing. That's all I'm supposed to be doing, but I never seem to do it. Today is the day though - I am going to do a practice pack and then leave everything I don't need for the next five days in the suitcase - it is not coming back out! I have had lots of helpers come over the past week or so - my mom, my sister, friends, etc. but I still cannot seem to get it together. I don't know if it's fear or procrastination or what. I'm actually getting really really excited to go, so you'd think I'd want to get the packing situation handled. It's the boring parts that get me - cleaning out the linen closet so our renter can have room for her stuff - BORING. But I will do it.

In other news, I lost .2 this week, which is kind of a miracle based on what I've been eating and the lack of exercise. Over the weekend we went to a wedding, then we had a bon voyage BBQ, and then last night our best friends took us out to the Melting Pot, a fantastic fondue restaurant, as kind of a last hurrah for the four of us. So yeah, needless to say, copious amounts of food and alcohol have been consumed.

What I'm getting really nervous about is not having a scale to monitor my progress on when I'm gone. Perhaps I'll buy one when I get out there, but I don't plan on taking one. I've been a daily weigher for quite some time now, and it's always been a good way for me to monitor my progress. Yes, sometimes it can get borderline obsessive, but for me that's never been really a negative thing. Instead it keeps me from backsliding. If I don't look at the scale, I'm usually avoiding it for a reason.

So as of Monday morning, I won't have a scale and doubly scary, I'll head off into the great unknown when it comes to food. No clue what I'll be eating on a regular basis when I get to Singapore, but I hope I can continue on this downward trend when I get there. As of today I've lost 14.6 lbs this year, which isn't stellar considering the gain from last year, but it is working for me!

The boy and I have created a new blog, so I'll be posting that here soon. I decided to just give you ladies the link, and if you're interested you can come on by. It's not quite ready yet, but I can guarantee that we'll be posting more often than I do here (I'm a slacker) and that we'll have some interesting posts about our travels to Asia. I'll still be here too, so I hope you'll visit. Be back before I leave, I promise!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Breathe In. Breathe Out.

Phew. Deep breaths. Okay thank you all for talking me off the ledge. I am making lists and I'm getting through things. Yesterday after my post I decided to just screw it all and go to kickboxing instead, and I'm so glad I did. It was such a good way to get all of that stress out. After that I came home, made some lists, got some boxes, and then pretty much did nothing the better part of the day.

I think I just needed to relax a little. This morning I'm in getting things done mode and I'm happy to say I'm making some progress. For now at least. ;)

One thing that helps is that my mom is going to come over this afternoon. She's always good at getting me organized. I guess I still need that parental help once in a while. Even if I am 28.

So no workout today, but I'll be busy moving my body, so at least there's that. Food is still pretty good, but I have to confess I bought some Sweet and Spicy Doritos for the boy and they are damn good. And I kind of want to eat some. I think I will. But I'll make it work with my calories and we'll be fine.

Thanks again to everyone for being so sweet. I love you guys. And I'm sorry if I'm not around much in the next couple of weeks, but I'll be back, I promise. :)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

What is it

I suck suck suck right now at being a blogger. I'm stressed and I want to cry almost every day. I should be happy right now. There is just too much. It is too much for me right now and I want to let it all go to hell. I don't know how to organize myself for this move. I don't know how many effing pairs of pants to bring. I am letting these things overwhelm me.


Okay I just needed to yell that. Sorry.

I am scared. We don't even have a place to live yet. We leave in a week and a half. A week and a half. A week and a half.

It's only six months. I just need to chill out. For real.

A week and a half, and before that, I have to - go to a friend's wedding this Saturday. Be the guest of honor at a BBQ (at my house!) on Sunday. Be in a friend's wedding (including pre-parties, rehearsal dinners, etc.) next Saturday. Miss another friend's wedding next Saturday. Not tell that friend I don't think she should marry him.

Not to mention pack, get my shit in order so that someone can move into this little, messy house we won't be calling home anymore, and do things. So many things. Turn off my cell phone. Sell the car. Sweep the floors. Mow the lawn. Call my dad.

Weigh in today - gained .8. As long as I can stop myself from stuffing my face in stress I think I'll be fine.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Weigh In

Down 2.6 today! Woo hoo! How did that happen? Maybe it's a fluke due to the sickness on Monday, but I do believe some of it is real. Yippee! Yesterday I stuck to my plan perfectly and I think the Chinese chicken salad turned out really nicely. All I did was mix some romaine and spinach together, add some shredded chicken, shredded carrots, mandarin oranges, slivered almonds, and a few crunchy chow mein noodles. It was delicious. Oh yeah and Newman's Own Lowfat Sesame Ginger dressing. So good.

Today is already totally effed up because I was up until 3:30 with the dogs, so I'm basically a walking zombie. If I want to make kickboxing I have to leave in 15 min, so it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I'll figure something out this afternoon though I'm sure. In the meantime I need to order my yellow shoes for the wedding I'm in coming up in 2 weeks (yes I don't have my shoes yet, I am a slacker).

Anyway, yay for the weigh in! I'm so close to a new decade, I can taste it. Next week ladies. Next week.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Recovering Nicely

Okay I'm feeling much better today. Slept like crap, mostly because we are dogsitting for my parents and while their little King Charles is adorable, she snores something fierce and is definitely not on the same schedule we are. She's also really sad; I think she just misses my mom. Anyway, other than that, I'm back to my old self.

This morning I walked the dogs for about 40 minutes, dropped them off, and went back out for some additional Jeni time. I ran down to the elementary school soccer field (about half a mile away) and spent some time doing a rotation of bodyweight exercises: squats, lunges, push ups, tricep dips, planks and V-sits. The I did 5 one minute interval sprints up and down the field, followed by the half mile job home.

Holy moly. I am dead. Sweaty dead. I think it's already about 85, and I am just not used to the heat yet. I need to start getting my workouts in earlier. I can't imagine how dead I'm going to be when I'm in Singapore and the humidity is one million percent. I feel great though, it's always so nice to get my body back in working order after a period (even though it was brief) of illness.

I don't think I actually had salmonella poisoning, it was just too short for that, but I definitely ate something that did not sit well with me. Today I'm going to try to stick to my tried and true meals and just hope that I don't have anymore issues.

On the menu today:
Breakfast: banana and peanut butter
Lunch: Turkey sandwich, pear
Dinner: Girls are coming over - I'm making Chinese Chicken Salad with breadsticks and homemade rice krispy treats for dessert. And probably some wine. :)

I know you were so interested in knowing that. Today I just need the accountability. Have a good one!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Tomato Scare!

Bwahahahahahaha. Run for your lives!

Just kidding. But apparently there is some sort of scare about tomatoes and salmonella? I don't know if tomatoes were the culprit, but I spent the afternoon puking my face off after what I thought was a delicious veggie sandwich at one of my favorite little sandwich shops downtown. I called and they said they haven't had any complaints, but I'm wondering if the tomatoes were to blame? I don't really know what the symptoms of salmonella are, in fact I can't imagine salmonella would kick in that fast (I was sick about an hour after I ate, if that) but I do know that I was not a happy camper after that sandwich.

I'm feeling better now, still kind of yucky and headachey, but I'm starting to get a little munchy so I sent the boy out for some noodles. And a rice krispy treat. That's healthy right? Right. It's one of the only things I can think of that sounds good to eat right now, so I'm going to eat it.

And in the future, I'm going to proceed with caution around those yummy red globes of death.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Dinner for Seven?

Ahh Friday, how I long for you. And you've finally welcomed me into your open arms. I don't know if I completely have my workout mojo back, but I did drag my ass to the gym (I was literally halfway home, convincing myself that I would run outside, even though it was raining, but I turned around and forced myself to go to the gym). I got on the treadmill, but could see that was going to be brutal with no iPod, so I decided to do a fast 20 minute interval workout rather than drone away for hours. It was killer.

After that, I hit the basketball court and did lunges up and down the court, squats, pushups on the Bosu ball, dips on the regular ball, bicep curls, and ended by running about 20 flights of stairs. Wow. My glutes are screaming today! It is amazing how running stairs can hurt a girl.

Food was okay not great yesterday - I haven't been to the grocery store in weeks and we're suffering for it. I did limit my portions and eat lots of veggies, but I also picked on some fries at lunch and had a few pieces of candy. Bleh.

I was on such an awesome cooking kick, and I really don't know what happened to it. My friend S. says I just got bored with it, and I think she might be right. I am hosting girl's dinner at my house next Tuesday (seven girls, including me) so if anyone has any ideas for fun, easy recipes to make for us, healthy of course and including some kind of healthy dessert, they are much appreciated. Let me give you an idea of what we usually have:

Last week, a huge chicken Cesar salad, garlic bread and strawberry shortcake for dessert.
Week before, pasta (rigatoni maybe?) baked with low fat mozzarella on top - most of the girl's had sausage but I always get a little one made without meat for me :)
Week before that, homemade mini pizzas and a huge salad.

So you get the idea, it has to be easy and cheap enough to feed seven women, but still yummy right? I was thinking of doing this lemon angel hair pasta and salad but I want something with a little more kick (and maybe more protein?). I usually stick to vegetarian these nights but I'm willing to add some chicken or shrimp or what have you for fun.

On today's agenda - wrapping up my contract work, short run if my booty can handle it, lunch for a friend's birthday, I'll be ordering the soup and salad, and hopefully getting some yard work done this afternoon. My peony's finally opened and they are so pretty! I love my backyard. Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Weigh In, Allergies and Bad Spinning Music

Weigh in yesterday - down 1.4. That is after a one lb gain last week that I conveniently forgot to post. I am so sneaky right? I bet you guys are catching on to my little game by now. Guess who doesn't post when they gain? Me. But I am stopping that right now. I will post even if I gain 8 billion pounds. Because that's how it works around here. I've been really bad about posting and commenting on your blogs and I'm sorry, I just haven't been online/home much so that's getting neglected.

Anyway, things are moving in the right direction, albeit very slowly. Workouts are suffering and I'm just feeling all around flabby, but I just can't seem to get into the kick ass workout groove I was in. I am still getting them in, but just not as frequently and they just aren't as good. I guess I'm in a workout lull. The move is taking up lots of thinking time, but very little doing time. As are all of these doctors appointments.

Yesterday I had to get an abdominal ultrasound and an echo to determine that I don't have a "leaky heart valve" due to this collagen synthesis problem I have. It was weird. The echo was especially weird because your heart is right under your boob and I just felt like I was being molested the whole time. I know I wasn't but still. Weird. Can I say weird some more?

It was kind of nice in a way, because the girl who did it actually has rheumatoid arthritis, and she's only 26, so we started talking about all of the drugs they have for treatment and how they really have no idea what the long term side effects are for people who start so young like we are. She said she just started doing all of this research and freaked out and decided not to treat it at all. But - she said she's adopted a gluten free diet, and that has helped a lot.

So that got me thinking, maybe, just maybe, I could feel better if I looked into what I'm really eating, whether or not I have any food allergies, all that stuff? I don't know if I'm ready to forgo medication completely, but I'm very open to trying other things. I was tested for food allergies in college when my psoriasis was really bad, and of course it came back that I was allergic to like everything, but I kind of blew it off and was like, there is no way I can live like that.

But, this morning I'm looking to see if I can track down all of those old tests. I remember wheat was on there, as were some random things like coconut (which I happen to love). But don't they say you're usually allergic to the things you love/crave/eat most? Yeah probably. So I'm thinking there could be some truth to this allergy thing. Whether or not it helps my arthritis, I don't know, but I'm going to give it some time and see if I can dig up those old records.

In the meantime, the cardiologist thinks my heart is just fine, so I'm relieved about that. I guess I'll try to keep it pumping with some sort of workout this afternoon, after I hit up Denver's most famous vegetarian restaurant with a friend for lunch. Maybe I'll see if i can order something gluten free.

On a completely different note, I went to spinning yesterday and the instructor played this weird classical/house mix the entire time and I HATED it. So did a lot of people I think. It made the workout brutal and it seemed like it took forever. I like spinning to songs I mostly know, even if they are cheesy pop songs, because then at least I know when the song is going to end and we are going to move on to something different. But this was just never ending beats and violins and stuff and I just couldn't hang. Like 6 people left early. I felt bad for her but she didn't seem to mind. I guess they are just trying to bring variety to the classes but I would not be going back to that one.

Okay enough complaining, off to be productive. Have a great day everyone!

Monday, June 02, 2008

What to do?

How was everyone's weekend? Mine was great - not enough downtime but lots of fun. The bachelorette party was fantastic and I ate pretty dang well if I do say so myself. There was lots of laughter and fun and yes, a lot of wine, but overall I think I kept it in check quite well. Yesterday I went to see Sex and the City with my sisters, which was fun just because it was sister time but I thought the movie was kind of a downer. I mean, it was fun to see all the ladies back together again and resume the story, but for a such a supposedly fun-loving story, it seemed pretty down in the dumps a lot of the time. I dunno, it was still fun to go I guess.

This morning I had to go to a meeting about freelancing, after which I was planning on going to spinning, but of course it took three freaking hours, then they asked me to go to lunch, and my whole plan was shot. I know I totally could have gone to the gym after, but I had just eaten and I was tired and hot and whiny and the boy was leaving for the airport and I wanted to see him before he left for the week, and blah blah blah bottom line is I didn't work out today.

Isn't it funny how when you don't work out for a couple of days you get in a slump, and it just becomes easier and easier to stretch it into one more day? Well I know one more day becomes a week and then a month and that would be way too easy to do with all of the stuff we have going on, so I have a plan for tomorrow.

The plan is this:

Get up, breakfast, shower, walk the dog, get to my gyno appt., go straight to the gym, grab lunch from the gym cafe, then get to my dermatologist appt., then come home, walk the dog again, then hit girl's dinner.

I know you were really excited to hear that. But sometimes it just helps to write it all out, you know? I am so freaking sick of all of these doctor's appointments, but I guess I just have to get them all out of the way before we leave.

So, question. I've mentioned we want to blog about Singapore right? Well, problem. This is my fatblog right? And yes, all of my friends know I'm fat. Or overweight. Or whatever. But they don't know about this blog. And no, I don't want them to know. I'm sure the industrious among them could probably find it if they wanted to, and I'm not going to any serious trouble to hide it or anything, but I don't really want to be advertising it so to speak. And I don't want it to be EASY to find.

So the issue is this: How do I blog about Singapore for my friends and family, but make sure you guys are in on it too? That is if you want to be. I know I could just email or write out the link here, but then if anyone comments, it might be easy to trace back to this blog. Too easy.

The boy suggested I have all of our traveling blog posts copy here automatically, but I don't want to hijack this blog that way for people who don't necessarily want to read about that stuff. I could make this blog private, but I know that I'd lose a lot of you because that would be a pain for you guys. The good thing about making this blog private is that I'd probably be a lot more candid here than I am now, and I might go to posting daily weights like I've seen other people do, stuff like that. I might also get to talk about work or other stuff more openly as well. But....I don't want to totally kill the fun that is having people stumble across your blog. And it's not like I have tons of readers or anything, not that that's what I'm really worried about because this is mostly for me, but I like the community I've built with you guys and I wouldn't want to lose that.

So, should I just get over it because I've put myself out there on the innernets for all to see and I should have known this was going to happen? Should I just suck it up and deal with it if people I know stumble across this blog while reading my new blog? Is there anything I'm not thinking of that would allow you guys to read both?

I don't know what to do here. I'm feeling kind of tortured about this and I know it's stupid but shit, I'm a drama queen and it worries me. To anyone out there who does know me and is smirking because I don't know you're reading, please tell me, because then I'll know how to deal with this in a better way.