Monday, February 02, 2009

Monday Blah

STILL can't figure it out. This weekend was worse than ever. I think it's my surroundings. And maybe even my friends. It's my lack of structure. It's the overwhelming amount of choices. It's the stupid Super Bowl and the peanut butter cookies and the wine, oh the wine, and the tortilla chips and and and...

Okay, that's bullshit. It's all these things, but mostly it's just me. I make the decisions about what goes in my mouth and what doesn't. I am the one. And if I don't make good choices, I don't lose. It's as simple as that. 

I look at what I wrote last Friday, and I'm completely clear about my problems and what I need to do in order to get this weight off. The problem is turning those thoughts, these words on a page, into action. Action. Each freaking meal. Each day. One meal at a time. All of those things I know, I just need to do. 

I'm going back to South Beach pretty strict this week. I just need to see some success, and I know that works for me. I won't be doing Phase One again, but I will only have whole grain carbs one meal per day and fruit one meal per day. I'm also going to try to avoid alcohol for at least this week, if not more. Surely I should be able to do that. I think if I can get the scale moving in the right direction again, maybe I'll find that happy motivated good place I so desperately need right now. 

February is here. The year is moving on. And I won't let it be just another up and down year. That is not going to happen. Not again. 


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Kim said...

Oh Jeni, do I know how you feel!!! :(