Friday, August 28, 2009

All or Nothing

Okay. I am having a REALLY hard time with my all or nothing personality today and it is making me very nervous going into this weekend, which I want to go very well as my first weekend really back on a weight loss program. It should be fine, the thing is, yesterday wasn't perfect. And up until yesterday, this entire week (okay it was three days, but still) was perfect.

Or I had what I considered to be perfect weight loss days. Kick ass workouts. Lots of sleep. Healthy, nutritious food. Low calories. It's just that when I get on a roll like that, I don't want anything to screw it up. But yesterday I ended up going to the baseball game with my mom and having some sugared nuts for a snack. Probably not the best choice, but still no big deal right? It kind of went downhill from there though.

I cooked a healthy dinner, but I did end up having some of the wine that our dinner guests brought, and I ended up drinking more than I should have. Which led to me saying yes to the ice cream they brought for dessert. I only had a little bit, but still, I consumed more sugar and alcohol calories than I should have, and those are the two things that I have been trying to avoid because they are my downfall. Argh!

I know it's no emergency, and I still only consumed about 1800 calories yesterday, so I don't really think it's going to interfere with my weight loss this week, but I'm just nervous that I'm going to let that little voice, the one in my head telling me I screwed up, so I might as well just screw the whole weekend, win. And I DO NOT want that to happen. So I'm here writing, hoping that getting this all out on "paper" will help.

It's funny, I've been doing this so long, in one way or another, that it's just so easy for me to fall back into my bad habits. This time I'm trying to approach it a little differently and know that even if things aren't perfect and don't go EXACTLY as planned, it's going to be okay. My entire program doesn't have to go in the shitter because I had one off night. And the entire weekend, which could stretch into four days if I let it, doesn't have to be ruined.

I just have to keep telling myself to look at the big picture. Big picture big picture big picture. I can do this.


skinny me! said...

Like yourself I am super...ALL or nothing. It's pretty cool when I'm in the ALL mode, but the nothing sucks. I just wanted to say...don't get yourself sounds to me that you actually did a pretty amazing job. Count the extra food with your flex points! You are still on track..don't give up.

Jess said...

You CAN do this. I agree. And you are doing great! It is so crucial to learn how to forgive yourself for not doing things exactly right all the time.