Swimming

Okay I know I said I wasn't going to try to rock a bikini for my 30th birthday Mexico trip in December, but man I really wish I could. I don't know what possessed me, but for some reason I started looking at swimsuits online this morning and I just couldn't stop.

Let me back up. The last swimsuit I purchased was at the illustrious Target, and while it has done quite well for me over the past two years, it was officially retirement time when the summer ended. I spent a lot of time at the pool when we were living in Singapore, and between that and occasional use this summer, it is just shot. It's a classic tankini and I really liked it, cute black and white flower pattern on top and solid black bottoms, and I guess I felt as good in that suit as I could possibly feel in a suit.  Which probably isn't saying a whole lot, but still. But now the elastic is gone, it's all stretched out, and you know, nobody's girls look good in a stretched out top.

I probably should have looked for a new suit at the end of the summer, but I guess I sort of had it in the back of my mind that I was going to lose! all! this! weight! so I should wait until I really needed one to do it. Man it kills me that I still do that all the time, put off buying things or doing things until I lose weight, because honestly, that is such a stupid thing to do. I am not putting anything on hold until I lose weigh anymore!

Sorry, tangent. Anyway, now I'm going to Mexico and while I don't leave until December 17, I want to find something that I feel really happy and comfortable in. I probably won't make a purchase until early December, but I want to have a plan of action so I don't start freaking out about it and then just end up going with my old stretched out suit. Typically I prefer a tankini because it's just easier to go to the bathroom, etc. but I've been looking and some of the one-pieces out there now are pretty cute.

What do you guys think? Have any good brands you recommend? Pissed off that I'm even mentioning swimsuits in November?

ETA: I had some pics of swimsuits up here but they disappeared! ARgh! Sorry about that.

Check In

Oh man. Well I guess I am on my second day of "getting my shit together, take 1,347,984." It is going well so far, as it usually does during the week. I am feeling good about the fact that I was invited to go out for lunch by a friend and I asked if we could do coffee instead. For me, eating out, even though I usually sometimes make good choices, just typically means more calories in my bod. Not to mention the amount of money it costs!

Anyway, I guess I'm here to check in for myself more than anything else. It is my weigh-in day, and I was at 172 even, so there's that. Not really good or bad yet, just is what it is. Last night I had your classic healthy dinner of salmon and broccoli, with a little risotto thrown in for good measure. Today's meals consist of Ezekial toast w/ almond butter and honey for breakfast and scrambled eggs with spinach and laughing cow cheese for lunch. Not sure what's on tap for dinner yet, although I suspect we'll have turkey burgers or whole wheat pasta. Or maybe black bean soup. That sounds pretty delicious. And Bob challenged me (okay fine everyone who follows him on Twitter) to eat 40 grams of fiber today, so I am definitely going to need some beans to hit that goal.

This morning I went to kickboxing and it was brutal, as usual. I swear I am on the road to death every Wednesday morning. You'd think it would be routine by now but it's not. I guess that's why I love it so much. I ran on the treadmill yesterday and realize running just doesn't make me as happy as kickboxing does. I just find it so monotonous, even when I have good music. I do like listening to my podcasts while I'm incline walking, but I need some beatz when I'm running, ya know?

Hope everyone had a good hump day. I'll holla at ya later.

Okay it is time to admit it, I am struggling. I do not want to come back here in two months, after the holidays are over, and have gained weight. Back on August 25th I "re-dedicated" myself to losing weight, specifically 17 lbs in the 17 weeks before my trip to Mexico, and it's time to take a hard look at what I've been doing since then. That day I weighed in at 176.6. Today I weighed 172.1. That means I've lost 4.5 lbs since I wrote that post 11 weeks ago. And I don't really even know how realistic that loss is because I tend to fluctuate so much based on how much salt/booze I eat and how big my meals are. So realistically, most of that weight is just water weight anyway.

I guess I'm just frustrated with myself because I was feeling great, on track and kicking ass, and over the past couple of weeks I have really let that slide and have not been focusing on my goals. And then last night, I came across Lucas' post about how difficult it can be to push through when you feel and look great (and by the way you look great if you're reading this lady!). Reading that post was sort of like a catalyst for me. As I read through the comments, I thought, this is me! This is the issue I am constantly struggling with.

I am a healthy, fit girl. I work out 4-5 times a week. I eat healthy foods. I feel good. BUT, on the other hand, I'm still overweight. I definitely have extra fat on my body, and it needs to go. And yes I'm fit, but I am by no means where I want to be. I can't run as fast or jump as high as I want to. And I'm pretty sure if Jillian saw me waffling like this, she'd tell me to get over  myself and tackle the issue at hand.

I guess what I'm saying is that although I want to be comfortable in my own skin, I don't want to get TOO comfortable. Because too comfortable leads to lax behavior, like pizza every Sunday night and beers during the Bronco game and then suddenly it will be Thanksgiving and Christmas and I'll have eaten everything in site and gained 15 lbs. I know my body and I know that is a very real possibility, and I will not let that happen this year.

Instead I, once again, am setting out my intentions here. I'm going to do the very best I can not to let the holidays overwhelm me. I'm going to limit my vino consumption, because that is constantly getting me in trouble. I'm going to get in those workouts 5 times a week and I am going to focus on training to get better for snowboarding season, which is rapidly approaching. I'm going to remove the excess sugar I've been consuming. I'm going to count my calories, and I'm going to stick to my limits. I'm not going to ruin five days of healthy behavior with two days of excess. NOT GONNA DO IT.

On that note, I am heading to the gym. Time to stop talking about it and actually do it. :)