Check In

Oh man. Well I guess I am on my second day of "getting my shit together, take 1,347,984." It is going well so far, as it usually does during the week. I am feeling good about the fact that I was invited to go out for lunch by a friend and I asked if we could do coffee instead. For me, eating out, even though I usually sometimes make good choices, just typically means more calories in my bod. Not to mention the amount of money it costs!

Anyway, I guess I'm here to check in for myself more than anything else. It is my weigh-in day, and I was at 172 even, so there's that. Not really good or bad yet, just is what it is. Last night I had your classic healthy dinner of salmon and broccoli, with a little risotto thrown in for good measure. Today's meals consist of Ezekial toast w/ almond butter and honey for breakfast and scrambled eggs with spinach and laughing cow cheese for lunch. Not sure what's on tap for dinner yet, although I suspect we'll have turkey burgers or whole wheat pasta. Or maybe black bean soup. That sounds pretty delicious. And Bob challenged me (okay fine everyone who follows him on Twitter) to eat 40 grams of fiber today, so I am definitely going to need some beans to hit that goal.

This morning I went to kickboxing and it was brutal, as usual. I swear I am on the road to death every Wednesday morning. You'd think it would be routine by now but it's not. I guess that's why I love it so much. I ran on the treadmill yesterday and realize running just doesn't make me as happy as kickboxing does. I just find it so monotonous, even when I have good music. I do like listening to my podcasts while I'm incline walking, but I need some beatz when I'm running, ya know?

Hope everyone had a good hump day. I'll holla at ya later.

Weigh In

Weighed today - down 1.2 lbs since I "re-dedicated myself" last Tuesday, putting me at 175.4 this week.

I dunno, I kind of have mixed feelings about it. Part of me feels like oh, it's my first week back on track, I should be down 3 or 4 lbs, some kind of huge loss, etc. But I guess mostly I'm really happy to see the scale moving down, and know that I'm not having to totally restrict entire food groups or anything like that. I didn't do Phase 1 of South Beach or any other "program." I just counted my calories and upped my exercise and watched the crap intake. Geez, for all the reading and research I do, you'd think this was rocket science.

It's so easy on the surface isn't it? Just eat less and move more. That's what "they" say. Well yes. It's the mental part that makes it so difficult. And when you are so on top of it, doing all the right things and using every ounce of strength you have to not order the fries at the baseball game, then it's just sort of hard not to be disappointed with 1.2 lbs. I need instant gratification! I am American after all. ;)

The 350 min. at the gym thing is still happening. So far this week I've done the following:

Mon: 60 min. kickboxing class

Tuesday: 60 min. boot camp class

Wed: 60 min. kickboxing class + 20 min. incline treadmill walk

That's 200 minutes so far, meaning I have the rest of the week to get in another 150. I'll probably do this athletic training/weights class the gym tomorrow and kickboxing on Saturday, and then add 15 minutes or so to each of those workouts to get to my goal. It is still a LOT of exercise but I like having a goal like that to work toward each week instead of sort of haphazardly going here and there. And I'm probably overdoing the kickboxing, but for right now I really like it and it's a hell of a workout, so I don't really see it being a problem. If it gets old or not hard or boring, then I'll change it up.

I bought stuff to make homemade pizza (whole wheat crust, lots of veggies on top) so we'll have that for dinner tonight. I'm a regular Suzy homemaker right now, (still no job on the horizon) but it is what it is and I'm learning to embrace it. I'll be writing more about that soon. Now I'm off to get my hair did, which will hopefully be a nice self-esteem boost. I love that fresh salon feeling. ;)

Update

First off - let me say sorry I haven't been around since my downer post from last week. I was feeling pretty crappy about it, but you guys are right, I am not a failure. So thank you for all of your sweet comments. I needed them.

Things are better this week, although I did spend pretty much the entire day yesterday answering questions for a potential job opp and if I don't hear from them either I'm sure I will probably be sad. But, I guess if it's meant to be it will be. Maybe I'll just be a lady of leisure for the rest of my life. That's actually not sounding too bad now that the sun has finally come out in Denver and the weather is nice.

I went to yoga tonight and that felt great. Yoga is so weird, I never want to go and even when I get there I'm kind of dreading it the whole time, but when I'm done I'm so happy I went. If only I could force myself to go more often. I think I'm just kind of in my happy place when it comes to working out and I don't like changing up my schedule, even though I know I should because the body gets used to the same moves all the time. I'm just loving kickboxing and the classes change fairly often so I think I'm going to stick to that for a while.

Food has been okay, mostly good, although this weekend was tough as you know weekends can be. Tonight I was going to make a chicken orzo salad but when I took the chicken out of the frig it just smelled a little funny, so I decided to chuck it. Better safe than sorry and I do not want salmonella. Instead I did a quick little search for a zucchini recipe and ended up finding this, which was actually pretty good. We accidentally put a little too much garlic in the dressing, so now the boy and I are doing some Internet searches on how to get rid of garlic breath. I gotta say the mint tea just isn't working.

Alright I am boring even myself so I will end this post and go cringe at America's Got Talent. Wow.

Boxing and Babies

I am becoming sort of a kickboxing snob. I'm certainly not the best in the class and I'm still sucking wind most of the time, but I guess I'm sort of a regular now, so it annoys me when shit goes wrong. Or what I perceive to be wrong. Like when the instructor decides to go off on a tangent instead of sticking to the basic routine. A crappy tangent. A tangent that sucks. Stick to the choreography woman! I mean, they've designed it that way for a reason. 

I guess I should try to be flexible and just enjoy my workout, but today I burned almost 100 less calories than I do in a normal class and that just bugs. Anyway, sorry I just had to vent about that. I am really trying not to get annoyed by stupid things like this, but if I say it "out loud" here, then at least it's out there and I can set it free instead of sitting here on my couch fuming about it. 

In other news I had my yearly gyno appointment today, well that was fun. Ugh. I actually appreciate the fact that my doc tries to distract me by just chatting the whole time she is performing the exam, but it just seems weird to be talking about vacations and stuff while her hands are all up in my lady business. I like her a lot though, and it makes me feel good to know I have someone I can trust to go to when I do decide to start trying for a baby. We talked about it some, and just feel like I have so much to think about. I know that it is definitely going to have to be a planned endeavor because I have to be off of the medicine I'm on for my arthritis for at least 3 months before I start trying, and then of course I have to get my IUD removed as well. So even if I wanted to start today, it'd be September before we could actually do anything about it. And I'm definitely not ready to start today. But I have to say, I can feel my clock tickin' a bit. 

It's just so scary to think about getting pregnant. And having a baby. I want it, but it terrifies me. Will I ever not be terrified? I don't know. There's still plenty of time, so I'm not going to worry about it right now if I can help it, but it is definitely crossing my mind more and more often.

Alright I am going to get in bed. Tomorrow morning I'm definitely having a green smoothie - I swapped it for oatmeal this morning and couldn't believe how much I missed it. Nighty night everyone.  

Rockin' and Rollin' and What Not

Well, it's Day 3 and I'm feeling like blogging about what's going on with me is helping, so I'm just going to keep it up. I don't know how many people are even still out there reading, but I guess this is mostly just for me anyway. If you are out there, hi! 

Today I'm up early, for me anyway, mostly because I woke up about five times last night itching my hands like crazy. My hands are both swollen, itchy, and if this is anything like the last ten years, some of my fingers will probably swell so much they crack, and in other places I'll scratch the skin right off of my hands, usually while I'm asleep. I know it sounds gross but it isn't that bad, I'm not skinless or anything. This is just another product of my psoriasis, which I've had since I was 18. Since I have psoriatic arthritis too I'm on an injection that is supposed to help both, but every once in a while I get flare-ups like this. It usually happens when I've been traveling, when the weather gets hot, or when I'm too hot when I sleep. I have no idea why, maybe dehydration, but I hate it. Itching is the worst. It drives me absolutely insane. 

Anyway, so there's that to deal with, but other than that I am feeling good. I made some amazing choices at dinner, and while I did have two bites of chocolate cake and two chocolate covered strawberries, I am absolutely fine with that. Because people, look at the things I encountered, but did NOT eat yesterday.

tortilla chips

chilled queso

cheesecake bites

warm Italian bread

wine

three types of pasta

gelato

I mean really? Really? That is a lot of delicious food that I did not eat. But I woke up this morning feeling springy (springy? yes I just used springy) instead of with a massive food hangover, and that feels great. 

After dinner last night I came home to find that my DVR was not recording the Biggest Loser season finale, and I was pissed, but come to find out the show was on for three freaking hours, so I got to see the last hour. I wish I would have gotten to see more of the transformations, but I'm glad I saw the final three anyway. I'm actually kind of bummed Helen won, I thought it kind of sucked that she stayed and let her daughter go home. But hopefully they worked that out between the two of them and there won't be any resentment or anything like that. And hopefully the money will go toward something positive. Tara looked amazing of course, she is hot. And Mike, he's so cute. But I have to say he looked totally uncomfortable in his hipster pants. I don't think he was quite ready for that. 

Jillian and Helen are supposed to be on the Today Show this morning, so I'm hoping they come on before I leave for kickboxing. I just love Jillian. 

Aight, that's it for me. Have a wonderful day! 

Day 1 and 2. Hanging In

I had a good day yesterday. I mean, I finally felt like I was in control of my impulses and I was able to make good choices. And I was rewarded with a three pound loss this morning, which I know of course is all the water weight and bloat I was experiencing. I ate vegetables. I ate lean protein and healthy fats. I went to kickboxing and I drank tea after dinner instead of eating ice cream. 

And today, even though it's my sister's birthday and I ate out for lunch and will eat out again for dinner, I'm still in control. I had a salad at lunch and skipped the chips. I have a plan for dinner even though we're eating Italian, which I know will be difficult for me. I do love the pasta. But I know that's not what I need right now. We're eating at a "family-style" place, meaning HUGE HUGE portions of food and we all have to figure out something to agree on, but I'm just going to make sure I fill up on as much salad as I can, and then watch my portion of anything else we choose. I will be mindful of my fullness level and I'll stop when I'm full, not when I'm stuffed. 

I think these early days are both so easy and so hard. On the one hand I feel great because I've recommitted to getting some weight off. I have goals in mind and I know what I need to do to achieve them. But the sugar cravings are there. My stomach is clearly stretched out because I'm hungry, neigh starving, even though I know I'm eating plenty. I have to constantly remind myself not to open up the pantry and grab some chips or some crackers or what have you. 

So yeah, I'm doing well right now, but I know the road is going to be hard. My first big test will be this weekend. On Saturday I'm hosting my sister's engagement party, and there will be lots of stress, but lots of merriment and lots of friends eating and drinking copious amounts. So there's that. And that will be hard. BUT I'm just going to do the best I can and try to think about WHY I'm making the choices I'm making and know that in the end, although sometimes it sucks to eat broccoli and drink water instead of wine, this is worth it for me right now. 

In other news, I also found a yoga studio in my neighborhood and called them this morning about classes. I was doing yoga quite a bit in Singapore and haven't done it at all since I've been back, and I'm really missing it. My hips are bothering me, probably from all the kickboxing I've been doing, and I know getting back into yoga will help that. I was also listening to Jillian Michael's radio show the other day and she was talking about the benefits of investing in massage, and I decided I'm going to take that to heart and schedule an appointment. Yes it's expensive and it feels like an indulgence with the crappy economy, but it's an investment in my health and I think I deserve it. 

I guess that's it for today. Gotta go get ready for dinner. Thanks for listening to my whining all the time. :) 

Weigh In and Goals Update

173.8. That's a loss of two pounds since two weeks ago, when I set my goals. I didn't weigh in last week because I'm a slacker and I have no excuse for it. Wasn't a good start to achieving those goals but here I am now and that's what counts right? So let's see, I'm on my way to my 5 lb loss by May 1, so goal #3 is on its way to being met. Woo to the hoo! It is SO nice to see the numbers go down on the scale for once. Maybe it was those Brussels sprouts I had last night? More on those later...

Sorry, I'm totally out of order, so now I'm going back to Goal #1, which was to work out 4-6 times a week. I just got home from kickboxing, which was my third workout this week, and I plan to hit Camp24 tomorrow and snowboard Saturday, so that will make a minimum of five workout this week.  I may even try to run Friday depending on the weather/how I feel because I woke up this morning kind of snotty and icky. I better not be getting sick because I am a pillar of freaking health. A pillar I tell you. 

Anyway. Goal #2 was stay within my calorie range 6 days a week. Eh. I don't think I've been perfect but I'm doing what I can. I'm still struggling with my alcohol intake on weekends. I swear it's just a couple of glasses of wine at a baby shower (and you KNOW I needed them) and then a couple of glasses that night, okay maybe three, but it just adds up and it's killing me. I haven't been going over by much, but I don't want to be replacing healthy food calories with alcohol calories (i.e. drunkorexic) so I'm just trying to find my balance. During the week I seem to be doing great, so I guess I'll just keep doing the best I can and one of these days I will figure it out. 

Goal #3, we've already been over, and goal #4 was to improve my form in kickboxing. LOL. For real. I am still mostly flailing about, in fact today I had a particularly bad day, but I'm blaming that on the fact that I haven't been sleeping well and I'm not feeling great today. I was just so tired and when I'm tired, I have crappy form. So we'll keep working on that.

Goal #5 was to cook, and I've been doing that! I made veggie chili for lunch yesterday and then last night I made Brussels sprouts. Hmm, how do I say this politely? I don't think I'll be buying them frequently. I roasted them with olive oil and salt and pepper and they looked quite lovely coming out of the pan, but the insides were just a little mushy for me. Maybe I didn't cook them long enough? I don't know, I'm going to try again because I have at least two servings left in my frig, so hopefully next time they will come out better. 

On today's menu:

B: Banana w/ almond butter

L: turkey sandwich, small side salad

S: spicy trail mix

D: leftover veggie chili

I guess that's it for me today. I know this was kind of a a boring post, but it's so good for me to write out updates on my goals like this. Now if I can only keep it up! I hope you all have a wonderful day. :)