Saturday, September 23, 2006


Woo hoo! Virgin fat territory! 170.5 and I am officially the lowest weight I've been since I have no idea when. Probably since I was three or four. :P

It's exciting and super fun and fabulous. Now I just need the 160's! Bring it on though, I can do this. I can! I realize I won't be making my 160 goal by the wedding, which is three weeks from today, but hey, I'm okay with that. I'm happy right now.

I'm also a little nervous, because today is a major shopping outing. We're going to Hawaii for our honeymoon, and I realized last week that pretty much all of my summer clothes are way too big. So I hope I can find some sales with some leftover capris, sun dresses, etc. Also, I need a new swimsuit. And a nightie to wear on my wedding night.

Going to try on revealing clothes such as these is usually a recipe for disaster no matter how happy I am with my body, but today I'm going to do the best I can to keep a positive attitude and just enjoy the fact that I'm fitting in size 12's. I'm really going to do my best to keep it upbeat. Wish me luck.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Stoopid Blogger

I just wrote a whole post and poof, disappeared. I hate you blogger.

Anyway, I was just lamenting about how I'm not feeling well - my lungs are tight and I'm tired and a little dizzy. It all started when I went to work out with the trainer today and he made me do sprints around the basketball court first thing. My lungs got all tight and I just couldn't seem to recover. I spent most of the day coughing at work and just being tired and useless. Eh.

So yeah, I'm considering calling in sick tomorrow. It's so weird, because you know, people get sick, but there's some weird little good girl inside of me that just doesn't want to do it. I'm a total corporate soldier. It's sad. I think I'm going to do it anyway though. I'm just effing tired and I need a day to chill. My teams can handle it without me. I think they'll be fine.

Also, I just wanted to report back on my daily weigh in. I think I'm going to report it here when I post, but my official weigh in will still be Thursday. Or I still might do that ten day average thing. Honestly, I don't think it really matters that much as long as the numbers are moving. Right? Oh well I still like to let you guys know.

Today I was at 172. So 171 is the lowest I can EVER remember being, so I'm still just over one lb away from virgin fat territory. I'm telling you, when I actually see the 160's, I might die. I seriously might die. Just another chunk of numbers to blow through though right?

Oh yeah, I did my wedding hair this weekend - it was fun but I'm sort of glad it's over with and one less thing I have to deal with. I decided to go with it "half up" if you know what I mean. She did a low bun at first, but it was just too severe and I didn't like it. I'm going for the romantic look. Or, the messy look if you don't want to use euphemisms. Four weeks to go and I'm getting so excited! Yippee!

Saturday, September 16, 2006


Five days in a row this week of pretty hardcore workouts have left me sore and in dire need of rest today. So I'm sitting on the couch right now enjoying some coffee and catching up on your blogs rather than going on a run. The run can wait until tomorrow. This was the first week I decided to see the trainer two days, and I'm definitely feeling it. As Martha would say, "it's a good thing." Yeah.

So food this week wasn't horrible, but it probably could have been better. I logged a gain of 1 lb which sort of suck, but I'm also in the middle of my cycle, so we'll see what next week holds. Pasta Queen wrote something about doing a 10 day average rather than just a once a week weigh in, and I'm thinking about doing that as well.

I pretty much weigh myself every day anyway, so I may as well see how that pans out. I like knowing what I'm eating and burning off day to day affects the number on the scale. I'm sort of obsessive like that.

So yeah, today is a rest day. I'm going to the salon to practice my hairstyle for the wedding this afternoon, so I'm sort of excited about that. The rest of the weekend, and this week and next weekend, are going to be pretty chill I think. The boy is leaving for London for work tonight, which I'm kind of bummed about. Then he comes home for one night on Thursday and leaves again for his Bachelor party in Vegas the next day. Yikes! Thirteen guys in Vegas. Wow. They are going to get crazy. I'm just looking at it as a chance to spend some time focusing on myself and enjoying being alone.

Enjoy your Saturday!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Will I Never Learn?

Okay so last Friday, I flew completely off the handle and had chips and salsa, french fries, pasta, and bread. I was bloated and disgusting. And then I decided I was going to do the Master Cleanse. Have you guys heard of this? It's a cleanse that was invented in the 70's or 50's or something. Basically, you drink a mixture of maple syrup, lemon juice, water and a dash of cayenne pepper. You're supposed to drink this mixture for 10 days (seriously, ten days) and it cleans you out and detoxifies you and you're all brand new and a baby on the inside.

I thought it would be good; I thought it would be a good reset so to speak - a way to focus on the good foods and really think about what I'm putting into my body every day. So I spent all day Saturday fasting basically, and drinking this weird mixture. It was hard. And not very tasty. By 7:00 or so, I really wanted to eat. Not just for the food in my body, but for the social aspect of it as well. I was bored out of my mind from having so much free time. It's amazing how much food prep/eating/going out to eat takes out of your day. It's a good thing though; I like that part of my life. The eating part. :)

So anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling gross and empty and I realized that I don't need to fast. I don't need to cleanse. My body may have some issues, but for the most part I am damn healthy. Yes, I eat crap once in a while, like on Friday, but mainly my diet is filled with whole grains and fruits and veggies and legumes and lean meats and those are the things that fuel my intense workouts every day.

And honestly, the whole fasting thing was really throwing a wrench into my healthy lifestyle. I was weak, couldn't work out, and I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed. I know the human body can withstand fasting and people have been doing it for hundreds of years, but I don't want to fast. So I don't have to.

Sunday I ended up eating mostly fruits and veggies (and some wheat thins), and I felt a ton better. I like eating. I like fueling my body. And as this week progresses, I see that the things I do every day are good things, and I don't have to resort to crazy tactics to be a healthy person. I already am.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

This Sweetness

It's raining here. And I feel like I could eat an entire house full of potato chips. Or some other monstrous amount of food. I just want to snack, you know? Just sit on the couch and munch. I think part of it is that I allowed myself some sugar today. Clearly that is leading to the cravings. I had a really bad day at work yesterday, and today one of my best girl's at work brought me a brownie.

Very sweet of her, and I don't really voice my weight loss efforts too much at work, so it isn't like she was intentionally trying to sabotage me. But she sorta did.

So yeah, the brownie was sitting on my desk as of 9:00 a.m. The girl who brought it for me sits right next to me, so I couldn't exactly chuck it while she was right there. So I put it aside and tried to hide it underneath some papers. The morning went smoothly and I sort of forgot the brownie was even there.

But then, after a healthy Subway lunch, the brownie started calling my name. I had an hour and a half meeting, and my the time I got out of it, I just needed the sugar. I was craving it. So I ate about half of it. It's amazing how sensitive I am to the sugar now though, it just tasted so sickly sweet. Don't get me wrong, it was delicious, but it still tasted very sweet.

Since then I've pretty much wanted to eat all afternoon. It's weird how some unexpected sugar can do that to your system. Eh. I guess that should teach me not to eat a brownie after lunch.

The good news is, I weighed in today for a loss - I'm down to 172.5. Woo hoo! And guess what, if I can lose 2 lbs next week, I will be entering virgin fat territory. Meaning I'll be at the lowest adult weight I've seen since I've been weighing myself obsessively, which probably means I'll be at the lowest weight I've been since hmmmm, I dunno, maybe some time in high school? Wow. I hope I make it next week. That will be super exciting. Okay off to read your blogs. Have a great Friday tomorrow!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Stop Losing? On Purpose?

That's what I have to do. Well, at least after two weeks.

You see I went to try on my wedding dress today. It is definitely too big. Which is good; I'm happy about that. It means I can see progress since I ordered it. And, it's very pretty and I did feel a little bit like a princess. In fact I'm actually feeling very good about the way I'm going to look on my wedding day, so I just hope this feeling lasts. And I hope it lasts when I get all of my pictures back from the wedding day.

But, the woman at the bridal shop told me that I really shouldn't lose anymore weight after the first real fitting in two weeks. At that point, they'll pin everything up and get it ready for cutting, but they won't do any cutting. Then the next week I go in for another fitting to make sure everything is pinned correctly. Then she cuts it, and I go in for my final fitting.

So, if I lose any more weight after she does the second fitting, which is actually in three weeks I guess, then when she cuts it it will still be too big and she'll have to re-cut it. So basically, even though I have almost six weeks until the wedding, I really only have three more to lose all the weight that I want. At best that's like 7 lbs. That sucks. I mean, I'd only have three more weeks after that, and most likely the amount of weight I could lose in those three weeks wouldn't really change the way the dress fits, but I just want it to be perfect. Completely perfect. You know?

I guess what I should really be worrying about is why I'm so obsessed over the numbers of it. It isn't what the number on the scale says, but how I look and feel. And I know that I'm going to look and feel amazing at my wedding no matter what that number on the scale says. I guess I just envisioned myself really hitting it hard and being able to get to 160 or a little over, and now that vision is sort of screwed. Let's face it, it probably wasn't going to happen anyway, but I still had a little glimmer that I could get down there. Eh.

I guess the bottom line is, I'm going to be just fine no matter what my weight is at my wedding. I still want to continue to lose, but I think if I stay where I am or only lose 5 -7 more lbs before the wedding, I'll be okay with it. It's all good. I'm going to just do whatever I can over these next couple of weeks, and then I'm going to enjoy my wedding. Yippee.

P.S. I'm not going to look anything like the chick in the picture. I'll have a soft updo, and obviously I have blonde hair. Also, I will not be rocking the pink choker. I can't really pull that off. :)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


Wow. Labor Day weekend was super fun, but not exactly on plan. On plan, off plan, on plan, off plan. On and on and on. It's okay though because I'm back on I think. And I had pretty much planned to go off plan, if that's not too much of a cluster. I'm cool with it. I weighed in this morning and was up about a pound, but I'm thinking I can get that off by my official weigh in on Tuesday.

So now for a little wedding chat. My dress came in today, and I'm going to try it on tomorrow. And I'm completely terrified. It's weird, because it's almost certainly going to be too big, considering I ordered it in March and I've lost at least 15 lbs since then. But.


For some reason I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll look like complete crap and then my dream of being a pretty pretty princess in a big white dress will be foiled. I was never one of those girls who had my wedding planned out, but ever since I've started this process, I've sort of gotten a little more into the whole fantasy thing. I want to be pretty dammit. I mean don't we all just want to be pretty sometimes? I think it'll be fine, but still, I'm nervous...