Made it through day 2. I guess it wasn't that bad. I didn't love it though; I'll say that. I'm definitely experiencing sugar withdrawal. Which means headaches and just overall feeling crappy. I almost didn't go to the gym this afternoon, but I forced myself and I'm glad I went.
Wow, it was crowded. I went yesterday morning and it wasn't that crowded, so I guess I thought maybe the wave of new joiners didn't happen for some reason. Turns out lots of people were off for a federal holiday for Ford's funeral, so maybe that's why.
Tonight though, I was more self-conscious at the gym than I have been in the year since I joined. I know at least by sight most of the trainers, gym employees and regulars. And I assume most of the regulars know me by sight as well. But for some reason I was so aware of who was looking at me. Looking at the fat girl doing bicep curls. Wondering how long she'll last. Smirking at how out of shape she is.
I lost over 20 lbs in 2006 and gained a ton of fitness, yet now I'm paranoid about what people think when they see me at the gym? I'm pretty sure most of those people don't giving a flying fark what I'm doing - they're focused on their own routines. But for some reason, I think they're all judging me?
I'll get back into my routine and pretty soon I won't even notice the other people at the gym. For right now, going back when I've been off track for a few weeks, it just feels weird. I wonder if I'll ever get rid of this self-doubt that I have? I hope so.