Monday, March 26, 2007

Whine (wine)

This weekend absolutely flew by and I am really sad its Monday. But I guess Monday's basically over so it's all good. My impetigo has improved vastly, now I just have a few dry spots on my face and neck and I'm feeling much better about everything. It is amazing how much I rely on my face, my smile. No matter how gross and ugly my body is feeling, at least I can make my face look pretty with nice hair and makeup. Not so much with the impetigo. Eh.

Moving on - I started another 5 week session of boot camp tonight. I was SO looking forward to going after work. I just needed to blow off some steam and I don't think my workouts have been as good when I'm not in that controlled environment. It was a beautiful day yesterday and I did go on a run down to the lake, but I've just been missing the group environment and the pushing I get from the instructors there. I dread it, but I love it. It's great.

So last night, we had company over to watch the Discovery Channel's Planet Earth series (amazing by the way) and I drank too much wine and got cranky. And basically picked a fight with my husband.

I find myself doing that a lot lately when I drink wine, and I think I need to check myself. We talked about it tonight and I think I'm mentally addicted to the idea of drinking a glass of wine to relax. Not so much when I'm working out a lot, but on the weekends, especially with my girlfriends, I feel I need some wine to relax. What usually happens is one of two things. I don't eat enough food and the wine goes straight to my head and I get cranky. OR, the wine goes straight to my head and I end up eating too much food. Either way I end up unhappy and feeling like I've sabotaged my weight loss efforts.

So even though I think I want to drink wine to enjoy myself, the end result is not always positive. Of course that's not to say I can't enjoy the occasional glass once in a while, it's just that right now it's not working that way.

So I'm not going to completely cut it out, but I think I need to find other ways to relax. My husband suggested meditating, but I guess I'm not sure where to begin. And how does that help me when it's a beautiful day on a Sunday afternoon and we're having dinner with friends and everyone is having a cocktail? That's where the mental struggle comes in.

I'd love to just go into hiding and try to lose weight all by myself, eating perfectly, drinking only water and exercising like a champ. It's not so realistic though. I know I just need to find my own perfect balance, but somehow I don't know if that's ever going to happen.

1 comment:

jodi said...

i think its perfectly normal to want to unwind w/a glass of wine (or whatever) but like you said - when it starts to affect things in a negative way, maybe its time to find something else... if you want to try and cutback, what about a wine spritzer - then you'd still have your wine but not as strong... another option would be if you still want to drink, promise yourself that you'll eat something before pouring that first glass... i'm not a huge drinker so i can't really offer any other advice... :0)