Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Argh. Day six and I've kind of had a meltdown. Okay not really a meltdown but this was the first day I really struggled. Mentally I freaking struggled.

I got a good night's sleep, had a good breakfast and lunch but then afternoon hit and of course it was the work birthday celebration and my HR Director got effing German Chocolate Cheesecake from the Factory of Cheesecake. Devil Woman.

I caved and split a piece with our marketing coordinator. Then I had a mini Milky Way. WTF? This was after I declined pizza for lunch in favor of a veggie sandwich. I think there were just too many temptations and I was missing sugar and I just lost it. I guess I could have had some tea or taken a walk or done any of those things they tell you to do when a craving hits. But I didn't. I ate the cheesecake.

After that, I was tempted to just say fuck it and go home and crack a bottle of wine, especially when my new trainer called and asked why I missed our appointment last night (I thought it was tonight). Dammit.

But, I persevered, forced myself to go to the gym and do my workout and now I'm home watching the Biggest Loser. I had a frozen meal for dinner, which may cause me to retain some water for my weigh in tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to see a loss even with the stupid cheesecake. I really need to see the scale move right now. I'm not completely relying on it as a barometer of my success, but I have got to get out of the decade I'm in. Got to.

This is when it starts to get hard. When the shiny newness of my routine wears off and now I just have to slog through it every day. But this is when these little changes start to make a difference, and when these new routines start to become habits. I can do this. Even when it sucks and I screw up, I can do it.


jodi said...

we all make decisions during the day, sometimes they're good, and sometimes they're bad... you just have to move on and not beat yourself over it... i'm sure your weigh-in will go fine today, good luck! :o)

Kim said...

I'm proud of you for going ahead with your workout and skipping the wine. So you ate the cheesecake. You passed on the pizza. :) Forgive yourself and move on. Today is a new day. Remember, this is about finding your balance. Working out and eating right for the long term, not just until you lose xx amount of pounds.

I know that you are going to see the results that you want. We won't let you give up!! :)