Saturday, November 29, 2008


I'm hungover and feeling guilty. I ate too much yesterday. It feels shitty. It's amazing how one day of overeating and drinking can change your whole outlook. I was feeling so great. But now the guilt it setting in. So instead of dwelling on it, I'm just going to get it off my chest here and try to go back to being successful. 

The good news is, we had a great time yesterday celebrating our American Thanksgiving in Singapore. I started off the day well with a great hour-long treadmill workout and burned about 600 calories. Then we went to some friends apartment and had almost all of the traditional dishes. Turkey, stuffing, an asparagus casserole (which was new to me but quite delicious). I brought a salad so I would be sure to have at least one healthy dish. I did great to start, took only a little bit of each item, didn't overeat, but I allowed myself a treat piece of pie. 

So far so good right? Well that's when the drinking started. Wine with dinner. Then vodka. And more vodka. We ended up going out to karaoke. It was hilarious and really fun. But we were out until almost 1:30, and having eaten at around 5, I was starving again. Couple that with a McDisgusto around the corner from my apartment and you have a recipe for disaster. 

Let me preface this my saying I never eat McD's. I am morally against it. I think the food is gross. But sometimes my head just doesn't work properly. It's like I was on auto-pilot last night. Last night I succumbed to my french fry craving and also had a Big Mac with no meat. Talk about carbs. I probably spiked the hell out of my blood sugar and then promptly went to bed. Yuck. 

So yeah, it feels shitty. I tracked all my calories in Spark People and it is not pretty. About 2500 for the day and who knows if I remembered everything. I am really glad I got that workout in. I'm glad we had a nice celebration with friends and had a good night out. I'm trying not to feel guilty. I don't want to let this throw me off track. So even though I'm feeling yucky and craving sugar today, I stuck to a turkey sandwich with lots of veggies for lunch. I am trying to chug water even though I don't want to. I'm going to make a healthy dinner. 

I'm also trying to think about why I did this. I was on such a roll. I am on such a roll. I don't think I was sad and missing my family and trying to soothe myself with food. I think I was just drunk and falling back into old, bad habits. I gave myself permission to indulge a little yesterday, but I took advantage of that permission. I took advantage of myself. So next time I give myself permission to indulge, I'm just going to have to be that much more aware. This clearly is one battle that I'm never going to stop fighting. 

I wasn't worried about Thanksgiving, I had planned to kick Thanksgiving's ass. And honestly I think I did kick it's ass for the most part. It was just the night out drinking that got me. I'm going to learn from this though. I'm going to remember this feeling and I'm going to move on.

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