Thursday, February 26, 2009

Piece of Cake

Hey! Well I am feeling good about my goals. Everything is in place and honestly, it's nice to just have that out there. I did weigh in yesterday and I was at 175.8. This is a .4 loss from last week. Woo hoo? I dunno, whatever. As I said, my goal is to lose 5 lbs by May 1, but in all honesty, I think that is setting the bar too low. I have a full two months to lose 5 lbs? I know I am a slow loser, but I also want to give myself some motivation, so I'm going to say 8 lbs, putting me squarely in the middle of the upper 160's, which is a place I have never been. So the goal by May 1 is 8 lbs, or 167.8 lbs. This is going to be easy. I am going to do this no problemo.

One thing I do need to do is spend a little more time looking at my calorie allowance. I use Spark People and it says I should be eating 1200-1550, which is a pretty big range, and based on my BMR, I think I should be at about 1400 on days I don't work out in order to create a big enough deficit to lose 1-2 lbs a week. Usually I'm good with sticking right around this, but sometimes I think I might need a little more food, especially on days where I'm burning major calories. Sure it'd be nice to create a monstrous deficit on those days, but if I don't give my body enough food, it's sure to end either with starvation mode or a binge, neither of which I want. 

So my question is, how much leeway should I give myself if I have an intense workout and am feeling extra hungry? Yesterday in kickboxing I'm estimating I burned 500-600 calories based on what my heart rate monitor says (it kept showing 00 at random times, methinks I need to clean the strap). And then after that workout, I was super hungry all day, but I was trying to stay within my allotted calories, per my goals of course. Well I ended up eating 1723 cals, which is of course over the 1550, but not by much. So TECHNICALLY I didn't meet that goal yesterday, but I'm not going to get all psycho about this, because that isn't good for anyone's mental health. Hell, the fact that I'm even writing this out is a little over the top. That's it, I've officially decided that I can consume up to 1800 calories on days I kickbox or have another really tough workout. I trust myself and I know that if I need the calories, I need the calories. Even if they are in the form of wine. :) 

Speaking of being psycho and having too much ego, Angie had a really great post yesterday about living in the present and how our weight loss isn't always the battle we think it is. This really resonated with me - I am always always worrying about this shit and letting it define my life and sometimes I really think I just need to get over myself and DEAL. This is my life, I love it, and things are going to be okay. Yes I want to continue to lose and yes I have my goals, but my world doesn't always have to revolve around this subject. As one of Angie's commenters said, sometimes you just have to tell yourself it's going to be easy. So as I said above, my goal of 8 lbs by May 1 is going to be a piece of cake!*

Tonight I'm going to that Camp24 interval class again, which I love, and then afterward we are heading out with our best friends to a new restaurant by our house. This week is Denver Restaurant Week, so tons of restaurants around town are having awesome pre-fix menus for $52.80 (the Mile High city, that's how we roll) per couple. I don't know what's on the menu, but I'm sure it will involve dessert and wine, so I'm just going to do my best to make good choices and enjoy a nice dinner on the cheap! I'll work it into my calorie budget, don't you worry! Hope everyone has a great day. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mother Lovin GOALS

Good bad up down on off. Consistency has left the building. Actually I don't know if I EVER had it. The past two months have just been hard. I really feel like every day is a battle. When it comes to my food choices, I'm just not strong. I can plan and plan but it seems I have one little slip-up and my whole day gets turned on it's side. Too much alcohol one night turns into pizza and cookies the next day. A bite of my husband's french fries and suddenly I want to go out for ice cream. Who is this person? Not me. 

The good news is I have been working out like a fiend. And I do have my good days. So at least I'm maintaining. And I think I may even be down a pound or so this week, but I'm still up at least four lbs from my lowest weight, and I don't know if I'll ever break that elusive 170 barrier. Actually eff that, I do know. I'm putting it out in the universe. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? I will see the 160's in March or April. As fatblogland as my witness, I will do this. 

In that spirit, I think I need a few more goals. SMART goals. Specific, measurable, achievable, r.... what's the r stand for again? And t? I don't know t either. Anyway, the first three will do. 

So, a few small goals, and a few bigger goals. 

1. Workout 4-6 times per week. This should be a breeze given my current level of activity. I am including snowboarding and snowshoeing in this as well as trips to the gym, outdoor runs, bike rides, whatever else I come up with. This does not include walking the dog. 
2. Stay within my calorie range at least 6 days a week. I can go over one day IF it is a day that I have worked out and IF I have stayed in my range the other six days. It isn't an all-out blowout, but I will allow myself some extra calories. 
3. Lose a minimum of 5 lbs by May 1. I know I can do this. I will do this. This will be 5 lbs below my official weigh-in as of tomorrow, February 25. 
4. Improve my form in kickboxing. I am loving this workout right now and I want to improve. I don't know how to measure that, but I think aiming to always jack instead of march might be a good start. Also to try to actually kick out instead of just toward the ground. 
5. Cook. Starting with going to the grocery store right now. 

Okay I think that's it. I feel good having some goals down. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Antsy Pants

Let's talk about workout pants. I am having a major problem and I really don't know what to do. The situation is as follows: 

Lucy has been my go-to for workout pants for a couple of years now, although I have gotten a few items from Target and Lululemon and some other places. I typically like a capri length, black pant. Fairly tight, but maybe flared at the bottom. Not necessarily tights if you know what I mean. For the most part, all the pants I've had have served me well. 

Here's my problem though. Lately, whenever I run, like really book it doing intervals, or go to kickboxing and we do lots of jumping jacks, or do any other high impact cardio, my pants fall down. They just sort of slowly creep downward to this area right above my lady parts, and then I have to reach back down and hike them up. And the things is, this happens with pretty much any pair I have. It happens with an old stretched out pair of Lucy pants. A brand new pair that is relatively tight. A pair of actual running tights (actually it seems worse with this pair that is meant to be extremely tight-fitting). A pair of wind pants. Everything! It's kind of like that rolling-down pantyhose phenomenon, if you know what I mean. 

I know what the problem is. It's my belly. I've always thought my extra weight was pretty evenly distributed, but if I really look at myself, I do have quite a bit of extra jiggle in my tummy area. And when I'm really moving, I guess that part of me just wiggles right out of my pants. And I do NOT like that. I am not like my teeney tiny instructor, whose pants only come up about three inches below her belly button but it doesn't matter because her stomach is so perfectly flat. I guess I am an old lady but I need the support of a waistband around my belly.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should start buying pants a size too small? Or is there a brand I haven't found that is going to be my savior? What do the girls on the Biggest Loser wear? I mean, it's not like I'm asking for anything outrageous here. Just a good pair of size L workout pants that won't drop when I'm jab jab crossing!  

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I should be on a cooking reality show

Because I am THAT good. I made the BEST dinner tonight. I am such a superstar. I mean truly, I rock. I love having an oven and Wh0le F00ds and my iPod in my kitchen. Shit, Americans are truly lucky. So I can't find a job right now, I'm up half the night worrying about stupid crap like whether that little clip from my snowpants is still on the dryer, and I had to go the dentist today. I had an awesome dinner. 

My dentist is down south near my parent's house (I've been going to him forever) and so after I was done, I went to the the mecca that is the Wh0le F00ds down there. We have a pretty nice one sort of close to me, but not close enough to justify going there a lot. But the one I went to this afternoon is freaking amazing. It's huge and full of so much gorgeous food it is just ridiculous. I probably could have spent two or three hours in there just walking around, but I was sort of in a rush so I just picked up a few things here and there. I didn't really know what to do about dinner so I ended up getting these pre-made spinach and feta salmon burgers, some broccoli and some sweet potatoes. So good. 

OMG American Id0l just totally effed up. Ha ha. Seacrest is not that great of an improviser. Okay side note over. 

The thing about dinner was that is was so easy. I turned the oven to 425, threw in the sweet potatoes, prepped the broccoli, (used this recipe, and it truly is the best broccoli of your life) and then threw that in. The salmon burgers were already together, so all I had to do was saute them for about five minutes on each side. Piece of cake and ended up all being so so good. 

Now that I'm all full of healthy food I'm settling in to watch BL and read some blogs. Oh yeah and I've been on twitter for a while as my normal self, but I decided to set up a special account just for this blog, so if you're interested, I'm here. I' think I'm going to experiment with tweeting my food and exercise as well as you know, all my witty thoughts throughout the day. :) 

P.S. This weekend was great - we did a 6 mile snowshoe! Holy crap. I hate my husband sometimes. I mean love. I love him. 

ETA: Just realized DG totally posted about this broccoli today too. Or maybe yesterday. Anyway, it's broccoli time in fatblogland. 

Friday, February 13, 2009


Okay I am fine. I have gained some pounds and am having trouble getting on track but really, I am fine. I have been to the gym every day this week. I had a salad for lunch because I was craving greens. So really, I am fine. I have to keep telling myself this because I can see where I'm going, I can see how I'm falling and I need it not to happen. I need not to gain weight and in fact I need to lose 15-20 more lbs forever. And ever. I am going to be fine. I need to make sure I'm fine. 

We decided to go to the mountains for the weekend and stay at the boy's parent's house. i think it's good. It'll be just the two of us and the dogger. I think we need the time together, and I think it'll be good for me to remove myself from some of the social situations that have been causing me to overdo it on the food and alcohol front. Tonight we'll probably just stay in, cook something easy. Tomorrow we're going to get up and go snowshoeing, which is always a butt-kicker. I don't know about tomorrow night, I guess we're just going to find someplace up in the mountains to go eat, although we may end up staying in again as it's sure to be packed with tourists given it's President's Day weekend. 

Anyway, I'm hoping I can pull it together and have a good weekend. I know just a couple of good days in a row will really help me get to a better place mentally. And that's what I need right now.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Oh. My. God. 

I have no willpower. Just ate a cupcake. Must pull it together. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

At The Gym: Taking Some Classes

Oh hello. I am in a much better mood today and not so worried about my life and my future and all of those things. I swear I am so up and down I must be bi-polar. Not really, but it never ceases to amaze me how much my moods swing. Hormones anyone? Wow. 

Actually I think one reason I'm feeling better is the fact that I've been getting my ass to the gym and working that shit out. I am a big believer in exercise being a mood enhancer. Now I'm not going to lie, it's not as good as some of the pharmaceuticals out there, but hey, sometimes you have to work with what you've got. 

Yesterday I knew I really needed to hit some weights, but I just DID. NOT. FEEL LIKE IT. I dilly-dallied all day. Had lunch with my mom and sister. Went to the mall and tried on shoes. Ate some chocolate-covered almonds. Read all about Chris Brown and Rhianna (side note - will be taking his songs off of my workout mixes. NEVER EVER is violence okay). 

Anyway, around 4 I decided to check out the gym's class schedule, and wouldn't you know it, there was a class starting at 4:30. I decided to go for it. The class, called Camp24 at my local Biggest Loser sponsored-club, is described as a circuit designed to improve cardiovascular  and muscular strength. I figured it was kind of like a mix between Body Pump and step class. I was basically right.

Well I got there at about 4:20 and the room was already packed, all the girls had their steps all set up and their weights ready to go. So I scurried over and set up my step in one of the only places left, of course at the very front of the room, and sat down to wait. What is it about a room full of women waiting to get their work out on? Honestly it kind of scares me. It must be all that estrogen. 

When the instructor came in and told us it was a mix of strength exercises and cardio based on kickboxing moves, I relaxed a little. I'm obsessed with kickboxing right now, so I knew it would be perfect. We did lots of fake jump roping, jumping jacks, running in place, that sort of thing and then mixed it up with your basic weight moves - lunges, squats, bicep curls, chest presses, etc. I liked it and I think I got a good workout, although my muscles aren't really as sore as I think they should be after a good weight session. I really wish I knew how many calories I burned, but for some reason my heart rate monitor isn't registering my heart rate consistently right now, so it didn't give me a very accurate reading for the workout. 

So yeah, I'm liking classes right now. I'm liking that taking one class gets me in the gym for a full 60 minutes, and I'm liking that I don't really have to think about what I'm supposed to be doing. I just follow the instructor like a robot. An intense, hardcore robot. Umm yeah. I went to regular kickboxing this morning, and I'm betting I can find another good class tomorrow or Friday. That's three good classes for the week, couple that with a few runs on my own (okay maybe just one) and maybe one weight circuit, and that should be a really good week of workouts. 

What about you? Do you take any classes I should check out?

Monday, February 09, 2009

Hopefully It Lives Up to Its Name

I took a pregnancy test today. 

It's so weird how I've been doing all this waffling back and forth about how soon I want to get pregnant and whether or not I'm ready and this and that and then, things started happening and I thought, well maybe I'll just be pregnant and I won't have planned for it and that's how it'll be. 

Let me back up. So since we've been back from Singapore, I've been trying to go back on my food plan (aka not eat everything in sight) but I've been having a really hard time sticking to it. Meaning I think I've gained a couple of pounds. Actually I know it. Then my boobs started getting sore. Really sore. Painfully sore. Then I started getting emotional about some things. And last night, some little thing just clicked in the back of my head and I thought, shit, maybe I'm pregnant. I'm fat and hormonal and pregnant. 

So what did I do? Pretty much the stupidest thing in the world. I got on the Internets. And I started reading. And self-diagnosing. Now I have an IUD or IU whatever they are calling it these days. It's the Mirena and it's supposed to be 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. Wouldn't you know it though, there are lots of ladies on the good old world wide web that have gotten pregnant even with this sucker in place. Lots. And they have stories. Lots and lots of stories. So I started reading the stories and thinking hmmm, maybe I'm one of these stories.

I stayed up way too late, tossed and turned and had visions of babies dancing in my head. I was scared and sort of freaked out but part of me, and I don't think it was that little of a part, was kind of excited. So I got up this morning, went straight to Safeway and purchased the error proof test. 

I didn't even make coffee because I thought, well, if I am pregnant I'm going to have to give up caffeine. Nevermind the massive amounts of alcohol I consumed all weekend. What can I say, I thought I had pregnant brain. Already using it as an excuse. 

Moving on. 

I came home and put some eggs on to boil. I peed. I looked. I wasn't pregnant. 

And it's fine, I'm glad I'm not pregnant because I wasn't planning on that yet and I would have been freaking out about my alcohol consumption and my arthritis medication and a host of other things, so it's good, but part of me, part of me was really sad too. 

So now what? Does that mean that I'm more ready than I thought? Am I really just hormonal and on some kind of period that really isn't a period and that's why I'm bloated and my boobs hurt? I don't know. I am going to think about it and process it all and try to understand what I'm feeling. I think it's important to try to take a step back and observe my reactions and figure out what they mean. I'm certainly not rushing to make an appointment to get the goalie removed. But I'm not so scared anymore. My husband and I will make this decision together and whatever and whenever we decide, it'll be fine.

In the meantime, I need to get my shit together and stop letting things slide on the weekends. I need to cut way back on my alcohol intake. I'm not in college anymore and this is getting ridiculous. Being healthy is important to me and I need to make it a priority. Right now today. 

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Saving Money

So I was watching Oprah today and she had the alleged "thriftiest family in America" on. This family was insane - they were saving money at every turn, only using one cell phone for emergencies, cutting each other's hair, eating at only restaurants where the kids eat free, etc. And then another woman, the "coupon mom," bought $127 worth of groceries, and got $88 off from coupons and ended up spending only $39 for a week's worth of food for her entire family. She said she plans her entire week's worth of of meals based on what's on sale at that store. That week they had a whole chicken and free carrots. 

So here's the deal, I'm all for saving, and this is something I've been trying to do since we got back from Singapore. I've been using coupons where I see them, buying things on sale, that sort of thing. Here's my question though, and I know it's not a new question, but how do you reconcile eating healthy with saving money? 

For me, it's important to buy organic dairy and meat, and buy local if I can. I also like to buy organic produce whenever possible, although I'm not very militant about it. I feel those things are important to mine and my husband's health, and I guess I'm willing to pay a little bit extra for that. I also try to buy things with a low number of ingredients, no high fructose corn syrup, trans fats, those kinds of things. And I think we all know that sadly, the cheapest foods are often the ones with ingredients you can hardly pronounce and little to no nutritional value. Can we say Twinkies? 

So how does this work? How do I save money, yet still buy quality foods that will help me stay healthy? Americans spend less than ten percent of their income on food, while Europeans spend almost 30 percent. What's up with that? What are we spending our money on? What am I spending my money on? Makeup? Snowboarding? The gym? Cable Internet and HBO and clothes? I'm trying to save where I can, but I'm not going to skimp on quality food. And I love Big Love and Flight of the Conchords way too much to get rid of HBO. ;) So what's a girl to do? 

Monday, February 02, 2009

Monday Blah

STILL can't figure it out. This weekend was worse than ever. I think it's my surroundings. And maybe even my friends. It's my lack of structure. It's the overwhelming amount of choices. It's the stupid Super Bowl and the peanut butter cookies and the wine, oh the wine, and the tortilla chips and and and...

Okay, that's bullshit. It's all these things, but mostly it's just me. I make the decisions about what goes in my mouth and what doesn't. I am the one. And if I don't make good choices, I don't lose. It's as simple as that. 

I look at what I wrote last Friday, and I'm completely clear about my problems and what I need to do in order to get this weight off. The problem is turning those thoughts, these words on a page, into action. Action. Each freaking meal. Each day. One meal at a time. All of those things I know, I just need to do. 

I'm going back to South Beach pretty strict this week. I just need to see some success, and I know that works for me. I won't be doing Phase One again, but I will only have whole grain carbs one meal per day and fruit one meal per day. I'm also going to try to avoid alcohol for at least this week, if not more. Surely I should be able to do that. I think if I can get the scale moving in the right direction again, maybe I'll find that happy motivated good place I so desperately need right now. 

February is here. The year is moving on. And I won't let it be just another up and down year. That is not going to happen. Not again.