I might be miserable. I’m worried about my weight. My heart. My hormones. How many antioxidants I’m eating. Am I getting enough calcium? Fiber? Protein?
I worry and I ponder and I fret and I make plans, plans in my head. Then I forget and I eat a whole bag of tortilla chips. And some margaritas. And some ice cream and some macaroons and some wine and some trail mix.
And then I eat a veggie sandwich. And I like it. And I think... maybe.
I work out and I join boot camp and I kick ass. I do pushups and situps and mountain climbers. I run.
And then I sit on my ass. I slump in front of the computer. I read weight loss blogs. I think about doing something. I plan. I plan in my head. But I sit.
I think about being the kind of person who eats only organic. Vegan. No hormones. No sugar. No dairy. Nothing fried. Only complex carbohydrates. Virtuous.
Then I eat some nachos.
I am conflicted. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. I'm confused.