Monday, June 08, 2009

Boxing and Babies

I am becoming sort of a kickboxing snob. I'm certainly not the best in the class and I'm still sucking wind most of the time, but I guess I'm sort of a regular now, so it annoys me when shit goes wrong. Or what I perceive to be wrong. Like when the instructor decides to go off on a tangent instead of sticking to the basic routine. A crappy tangent. A tangent that sucks. Stick to the choreography woman! I mean, they've designed it that way for a reason. 

I guess I should try to be flexible and just enjoy my workout, but today I burned almost 100 less calories than I do in a normal class and that just bugs. Anyway, sorry I just had to vent about that. I am really trying not to get annoyed by stupid things like this, but if I say it "out loud" here, then at least it's out there and I can set it free instead of sitting here on my couch fuming about it. 

In other news I had my yearly gyno appointment today, well that was fun. Ugh. I actually appreciate the fact that my doc tries to distract me by just chatting the whole time she is performing the exam, but it just seems weird to be talking about vacations and stuff while her hands are all up in my lady business. I like her a lot though, and it makes me feel good to know I have someone I can trust to go to when I do decide to start trying for a baby. We talked about it some, and just feel like I have so much to think about. I know that it is definitely going to have to be a planned endeavor because I have to be off of the medicine I'm on for my arthritis for at least 3 months before I start trying, and then of course I have to get my IUD removed as well. So even if I wanted to start today, it'd be September before we could actually do anything about it. And I'm definitely not ready to start today. But I have to say, I can feel my clock tickin' a bit. 

It's just so scary to think about getting pregnant. And having a baby. I want it, but it terrifies me. Will I ever not be terrified? I don't know. There's still plenty of time, so I'm not going to worry about it right now if I can help it, but it is definitely crossing my mind more and more often.

Alright I am going to get in bed. Tomorrow morning I'm definitely having a green smoothie - I swapped it for oatmeal this morning and couldn't believe how much I missed it. Nighty night everyone.  


Jess said...

Is it selfish that I am a little bit glad that you won't be starting until at least September? Because I want to do this together. Seriously, I'm terrified too, and I'm going to need some support/commiseration.

K said...

Add me to the terrified list!

I think about it a lot, too. I think it's the approach of my 30th birthday...