Sunday, November 12, 2006

All By Myself

Sing it to the tune of the sappy love song people. And if you don't know the song, then consider yourself lucky. So my husband, aka the boy, has been in China for a week now. And I've taken that week to get back on track eating wise. Quite fabulously I might add. As I mentioned previously, I'm changing my official weigh-in day to Monday's, but I'm confident I will be very happy with my progress via the scale tomorrow. Workouts aren't exactly back on track yet, but I'm working on it. It will come in time.

It's interesting to me how self-centered I become when I'm in the groove of losing weight. I've heard lots of talk about how women are too worried about everyone else's happiness and we never take time to worry about our own happiness. And if you want to lose weight and get healthy and fit, you have to worry about yourself. You have to say no to favors and decline social invitations and sometimes you have to do things that make people feel uncomfortable.

I've almost been lucky that the boy has been out of town this week, because it's given me a chance to really focus on myself without having to worry about anything else. This weekend has been all about planning and cooking and shopping and I know that probably wouldn't have been the case had he been here. Believe me, I would rather cuddle on the couch with him and a glass of wine than make yet another chicken salad with water as my beverage of choice, but that's not quite as healthy of an option now is it?

Where I really feel the "making other people happy" is not with the boy, because he's so awesome and supportive no matter what I do, but when I'm out in social situations. For the most part I'm a pretty fun gal. I like to go out and have a good time and when I'm out I like to make sure everyone else is having a good time too. But when I'm in the weight loss groove so to be speak, I can't be as worried about whether or not everyone else is having a good time. I am not going to get wasted with you just because you need to let loose. I'm not going to stay up until 2 and sacrifice hours of precious sleep to make sure your party keeps going. I just can't. And I know that sounds selfish and bitchy, but I just need to put myself first right now.

I need to put myself first on Thanksgiving day, at my office Christmas party, and during every single holiday event that happens this year. I need to put myself first, and believe me, you won't even remember that I didn't eat your sugar cookies in a couple of weeks. So please, just let me put myself first. Just for a little while.

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