Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Jealousy

So, I am doing good. I'm changing my official weigh in to Monday, so I won't post anything here until then, but I think my water weight is off and now I only have a few pounds before I'm back down to where I was before the wedding madness set in. I feel good about it.

I also finally made it back to the gym, although it was pure torture forcing myself to go. Once I got there I kept telling myself, you can stop in five minutes, you can stop in five minutes. I ended up doing the whole 45 on the new ellipticals there and kept my heart rate in the low 150's the whole time. I know it's not a substitute for running, but I think switching it up to the elliptical once in a while is just fine. At least I got through it, right?

The weird thing is, even though my heart rate was up there, I barely sweat at all. Usually I've got buckets of the stuff pouring off of me, and I've even noticed it more since I've gotten in better and better shape. But now that I've taken some time off of working out, my sweat is gone? Weird. I bet it comes back.

Bah, I have about a billion things to say about the eating habits and weight and blah blah blah, but it all has to do with work and I'm terrified to post it here. In a nutshell, I'm having issues and I think it's jealousy because of this woman who has lost about 50 lbs since May and I feel crappy that I can't be more happy for her. She's great and she completely deserves it. But she's getting to the point where she's looking really awesome and tons of people are complimenting her. And I want that. I'm such an evil person.

3 comments:

Anne said...

You're not evil, I would feel the same. I think it's normal.

jodi said...

great job on not giving up at the gym, i tend to do that myself and next thing you know - 45 mins. have gone by and its over... :o)

and re: your coworker, so she's lost 50 pounds, looks great and is getting compliments... you shouldn't compare yourself to her, or anyone else, because everyone is different... maybe you should sit down w/her sometime and ask her what she's been doing weightloss-wise... sharing your feelings might be a good thing...:o)

Lynne said...

Hey, jeni! I totaly do the "just five more minutes, just do five more minutes" thing to get through it. Whatever it takes, right?
And as for the co-worker thing? I'm with Anne in thinking that it's really normal. There have been several times that I can remember where someone I knew lost a lot of weight and they'd get so much attention and compliments and it would make me feel so self conscious about myself. Weight loss is such an important thing to us and we've probably spent so much of our life wanting it so badly that it makes us hyper aware of others' success. So you're not an evil person! In fact, you're one of the sweetest, most supportive of all my blogger buddies!