Monday, May 01, 2006

Feh

I'm doing better I think. All goals have been made so far. I think I might have trouble with the no sugar thing, but I'm going to give it my best shot. I do know that I ate a shitload of fiber today and I'm sure I'm going to regret that tomorrow. Oh well. I'll survive. I had a salad for breakfast with the frosted mini wheats, a lean cus1ine for lunch, larabar for a snack, and salad with tempeh for dinner (chicken wasn't all the way defrosted). So today was good, lots of veggies, did my 35 minute run without stopping, and no sugar and no alcohol. I'm okay.

So why don't I feel okay? I guess one day on the wagon doesn't automatically make things all better. It shouldn't really, but I want it to. I guess the prospect of doing this day after day is just a little much to handle right now. Why can't I feel like I felt January 1? Or January 3? I'm pissed at myself for dragging this out for so long and I'm pissed at myself for bitching about it. I'm doing it right now, I'm doing everything I think I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm hating every minute of it. Yes it's only been a day. But I'm still hating it.

Sorry for the downer post, I don't know what the deal is. Maybe it's the alcohol I drank Saturday night. I guess this is why I'm cutting it out this week. Because it makes me sad and and unhappy. Anyway hopefully I'll be a little more peppy tomorrow.

1 comment:

alea said...

Aww, if only there was something I could say to cheer you up... *HUG*

I'm sitting in the same boat, having fallen off the wagon once more and struggling to get back on. You're already a step ahead of me, because you have made a plan and stuck to it one day. Well done. One day at the time is the way to go sometimes.
Just don't ever give up, Jeni! You're a great person and so worth the effort. I know we can do this, even if it doesn't always seem so.

Keep your chin up. I hope your motivation will be back soon!