Argh! Can I just complain for a minute? This week has completely sucked. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed and I'm not happy. I think it all started when I got wasted at my friend's bachelorette party last weekend, which led to eating massive amounts of crap. I got back on the wagon on Monday and my eating has been fine since then, but I just can't seem to recover physically. Or mentally for that matter.
So wedding planning and buying a house and working full time and trying to lose weight and take care of a little dogger and trying to be a nice happy fiance just doesn't seem to work all at once right now. This has taught me that I'm not the person I was in college; I can't feed my body alcohol and processed carbs and all around crap if I want to try and function for the week ahead. So no more binge drinking. Or binge eating. It's just stupid and pointless and it makes me feel like shit. I mean I know it was a bachelorette party, but still. Ridic.
I also think the stress of the wedding is sort of getting to me. I cannot tell you how excited I am to marry this man, but with less than two months to go, I'm just scared. I'm scared to get up in front of all of those people in a big white dress. I'm scared I won't get all of the things done I need to get done. I'm scared that I'm changing my name. I want to change my name but it's still weird and scary. I'm scared that I have to be an adult now since I'll be married and have a job and own a house. It's just a lot to deal with sometimes and I think this week it's all just sort of hit at once. I mean we've only been in this house for two weeks now, and there is still so much to do. But a girl can only buy a new hose and look at tuxedos and think about bridesmaids shoes and celebrate so many birthdays in a week. Ya know?
I think I'll use this weekend to recharge. I'm going to bed early tonight, and then I'm going to get up and go see the trainer in the morning. After work I think I'm either going to go get a manicure or just come home and chillax. Yes it's Friday night, but honestly all I want to do is chill out. I want to chill out and sleep late on Saturday and then go to my shower and have a really great time and enjoy all the people around me. I hope it works.
Also, since Saturday will mark exactly 8 weeks until my wedding, I'm thinking about trying to ratchet it up a notch. I'm not exactly sure what that entails, but if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them. I was thinking of doing a cleanse or something, but I think that might put too much stress on my body. And then I was thinking maybe I'll just go hardcore and totally eliminate all white flour and sugar, but I'm not sure if I should try to do that or just increase my workouts or what I should do. I know the one thing I shouldn't do is stress about it. I'm just going to try to be as healthy as I can be and hopefully the weight will come off. Gah.