Good

Wassup. So the boy and I bought this crab-stuffed sole for dinner and I thought it was going to be really good. It wasn't. Oh well. I ended up eating mostly broccoli and risotto. Which is fine; at least it was a lot of veggies and low-fat risotto. I feel good about it.

In fact, this week has been going well. I was down 3 lbs, so I lost what I gained last week plus another two. Woohoo! And if all goes well I'm on track to lose again for my weigh in on Tuesday as well. I guess that really all depends on this weekend of course, but I think I'm on track anyway. We'll see.

As far as the no junk challenge goes; I haven't been perfect, I must admit. I had four mini-Hershey bars at work today. I have no idea what possessed me to eat them either. It was completely mindless. And stupid. I wish I didn't do it. Other than that, things are okay. I've been eating lots of salads and veggies and I'm still laying off the wheat. It is seriously tough though. Toes are still a little swollen but feeling okay. All in all, feeling okay. Hope you guys are too.

A Few Things

First, I was interviewed by a reporter at Prevention Magazine today. OMG. I just totally outed myself. I'm sure she contacted some of you as well. She's writing an article on weight loss, so she just asked me some questions about it all. I told her about the trainer, and the salad for breakfast, and the working out six days a week. I would think I was pretty healthy if I didn't know better. I mean, I am healthy, but I'm just not losing as quickly as I'd like and I'm definitely not at an ideal weight. I'm in no position to be giving advice, but I can talk about the changes I've made for the better, so that's what I did. Craziness.

Maybe one day I'll be one of those fabulous success stories where they show the before and after pictures but never really tell how the person did it. I'll tell though. If I ever figure it all out I'll be sure to let you all know. :P

Second, I was sick to my stomach practically all weekend. And you know what, I think it's because I started eating wheat again. Or it could be because I'm eating a shitload of veggies. I'm not sure. I had a Subway sandwich for dinner on Friday night, and I was fine that night, but it was all downhill from there. I had 1/2 veggie sandwich for lunch and some black bean soup (lots of fiber, I know). Then no wheat for dinner because I was feeling so crappy. But I had a salad. Anyway, I added wheat back in, and I felt crappy, so I decided to cut it back out today. I still feel kind of crappy today, but I'm going to give it some time with this amount of veggies and see what happens. If things even out, then it looks like it's the wheat. If not, it's probably the veggies. We shall see. How boring to you all I know, but I'm finding it all very interesting.

Third, I'm not sure if she knows it or not, but I decided to join, or at least mimic, Michelle's challenge, no junk for a week. To me, this pretty much means nothing fried, including chips, and no sugar. I'll try to stick to whole foods for my meals as well as sticking to smaller, more frequently spaced meals and include a vegetable or at every meal. It will be difficult, but I can do this. I will allow myself 3 glasses of white wine for the entire week. I'm stoked and think this is really going to pump me up a little. I'm also hoping to see a loss tomorrow at my weigh in, so I will let you all know.

Finally, (why does it feel like I'm writing an essay here) I did my workout outside tonight, a 45 minute run, and it was freaking awesome. Oh how I love running outside. I don't know why I don't do it more often. Probably because it's been butt ass cold for so long. But now that spring is here, as long as it's fairly nice, I'm going to do my workouts outside as much as possible.

In closing, (okay now I'm just effing around) I'd like to say that this has been a fabulous weight loss day. I may regret talking to that reporter, but for now I'm thinking of it as a good thing. At the very least, it will motivate me to really get my ass in gear.

So It Goes

Went to the trainer today. He weighed me and I've lost less than 5 lbs in the past two months. No inches off of my waist. Only .25 inches off of my hips. One inch off of my arms and one inch off of my thigh. It's better than nothing I guess but I don't think that's really the progress I should be making. Neither does the trainer. He was even surprised I lost that much weight with my lack of inches lost. Sucks.

I'm bummed. I just feel crappy. I haven't been trying as hard as I should and it's showing. Feh.

Okay on to better news. I've gone wheat free for four days now and its going okay. Even at the boy's birthday dinner, I ordered a salad and corn chowder for dinner. And didn't even touch the chips and guac. I am so proud!

Honestly though, I'm not sure the wheat free thing is for me. I'll probably do it for a couple more days and try to limit wheat from now on, but I don't see any difference at this point. I'll probably slowly add it back in though to see how it affects me. I have learned that I don't have to have wheat to live though, just a really expensive Whole Foods bill.

So now the trainer wants me to space my meals no less than three-four hours apart, and have a vegetable at every single meal. Every single meal. Holy crap. That is going to be hard. It only has to be a little bit, maybe even just some celery with hummus, but still. So I know I'm doing a lot of experimenting with food right now and you probably all think I'm crazy, but I'm just trying to find what works for me right now. The thing that sucks is that I haven't found it yet.

Keeping on keeping on though. Thanks for stopping by everyone. Love you guys.

Title

I can't think of another title right now. I hate Mondays. Today was my first wheat free day and it didn't got too terribly. I wasn't confronted with any meals out though, so we'll see how that goes tomorrow. This isn't typically one of those blogs where I write out what I eat, but I'm going to do that today just because I feel like it. This is my blog right?

Breakfast - salad, vitamins, 1 wheat free waffle (I made two but didn't really love them so I only ate the one)
Lunch - Amy's Frozen Cheese Enchilada meal (who knew that I loved this already and it's wheat free!)
Snacks - 1 orange, 1 Larabar, 2 cups light popcorn
Dinner - Turkey sandwich on Spelt bread (interesting texture and flavor, almost a little sweet, I think it has some sugar in it) 5 green olives

So all in all I think this was an okay day. I didn't get any veggies in besides my morning salad, but that's why I have it there in the morning so I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day. According to Spark People this was 1543 calories, which is just below the top of my calorie range if I want to make my goal.

I also did 45 minutes on the elliptical and my toes are feeling okay, so overall I'd call this a good day. Why can't they all be like this?

Tomorrow will be a true test. I'll have lunch out with the boy for his birthday, but we're already going to Green Fine Salad company so I know I'll be okay there. The big scary part is dinner at Tamayo, which has the best guac ever. I know I can stay away from wheat there, but that doesn't mean I'll have a healthy meal. The goal is to eat as few chips as possible and no margaritas. I already know what I'm going to order, so as long as I can stop when I'm feeling full I should be okay. I do NOT want to feel like I felt Saturday night. It just isn't worth it.

Wheat Free

Sorry about all of the toes posts and what not. My bad.

So this weekend. Was not good. I went overboard yesterday big time. Including a huge turkey sandwich from Heidi's with a crapload of mayo, chips and salsa, a bean burrito, and some ice cream. My mom and the boy have the same birthday, which happens to be on Tuesday, so we all went out for dinner to celebrate last night. I know I should be able to indulge on special occasions, but the food wasn't even that good and we're doing another dinner on Tuesday where the food WILL be really good so I should have saved my bad day for Tuesday. I tried to get back on the wagon today but I definitely see a gain in my future.

The good news is, I did go shopping tonight for lots of wheat free foods. I'm going to give this a shot this week. No sugar, no wheat. I can have corn, rice, popcorn, and all kinds of other grains, just not wheat. We'll see how it goes. I'm going to try to write out a meal plan tonight for the week, so wish me luck. I'll check in here and let you guys know how it goes.

By the way, I went to the doc on Friday and he did a crapload of bloodwork, so I should know what is going on with my toes by the end of this week. He definitely suspects arthritis and gave me some meds to help the swelling go down. I'm feeling much better now, good enough to go work out today, but I had to cut my run a little short because they were beginning to hurt again.

Argh!

Stupid blogger. Sorry for the three posts below. This post probably won't even post. Stupid. I'm trying to delete.

Toes

Snore. I'm super tired today. Got up and worked out with the trainer before work. It sucked but it was good; I needed an ass kicking. I'm having a problem though, my toes are swollen and it is preventing me from swimming and running and riding my bike. The trainer figured out how to work around it (mostly arms and lying leg presses) but how the hell am I supposed to do my cardio?

Let me backtrack. I have two swollen toes; one on each foot. It's the third toe on the left foot and the second toe on the right foot. I have know idea why they are swollen. I have some theories, and I'm going to see the podiatrist tomorrow, but I'm worried. They freaking hurt! They've been this way for going on two weeks now, and I thought they would get better and they sort of were, the swelling was going down. But then on Tuesday I went swimming, and I woke up yesterday morning and could barely walk. What the eff? Was it the cold water? The kicking?

So I took yesterday off from working out, but today I had to suck it up and go. I am not going to miss out on my workouts due to some stupid little sausage toes.

Here are my theories:

1. I have diabetes and am going to have my toes amputated. This is going to suck.
2. Background: I have a fairly severe case of psoriasis, and this can often turn into psoriatic arthirits. This is starting in my toes and will work its way around to the rest of my joints. This is also going to suck.
3. I somehow randomly stubbed one toe on each foot and I'm not letting them rest enough so they aren't getting better. This is highly unlikely.
4. This is some unknown inflammatory issue due to my being allergic to wheat. This is the trainer's theory. He wants me to get fish oil and cut out wheat. Sweet. Just what I need.
5. I'm on candid camera. Do you know how stupid I feel talking about my swollen toes?

Same old Same old

Well it looks like my attempts to fool myself into thinking I'd lose if I waited another day to weigh in were futile. I'm going to have to live with a maintain this week. I guess it's okay. It's just not the direction I need to be going if I want to do this. I'm kind of pissy about it really. I'm still going to weigh in on Tuesdays though.

Good news is; I'm sore as hell from going to the gym Sunday, and I supplemented that soreness by doing 30 min on the spin bike and a 30 min jog last night. I'm supposed to do weights today too, but I think I may just go for an easy swim and let my body recover a little. Hope everyone has an excellent day.

Changing to Tuesdays

Damn Sunday. Have I ever told you how much I hate Sundays? It's just bleh. So today was good though, I'm feeling pretty much back on track except I just ate two bites of a twix bar. Got up and went to the gym for over an hour, even played some basketball with the boy and made some shots. Went to Panera and had a bowl of black bean soup and half a veggie sandwich and even treated myself to a manicure with a good friend. It's been a good day, but it's ending and I'm sad about it all. Eh.

So I was thinking of changing my weigh-in day to Tuesday. I mean I'm not going to lie, I pretty much weigh myself every day. I know how my body fluctuates and I know not to get upset if I've eaten a big meal, etc., so I'm okay with it. But right now, my official weigh in day, the one that I write down on my cute little spreadsheet and the one I post here on my blog, is Monday.

At one point I was weighing in on Fridays, and that was good, but I felt like it gave me an excuse to eat like shit all weekend and then I'd have Monday - Thursday to make up for it. So I moved it to Monday because I thought it would help keep me accountable over the weekends. Which it basically has, but it's also a little difficult.

I mean Friday and Saturdays are definitely my highest calorie days, pretty much regardless of what else is going on in my life. I eat out more on the weekends, and I tend to have a drink or two as well. That's part of my life, and I like it that way so I don't think I'm really going to change it. And to top that off, I tend to become a little more irregular on the weekends. I mean I know this is TMI, but it's true. And I think it affects my weigh in on Monday mornings. So starting this week I'm going to change my official weigh in days to Tuesdays.

Tuesdays will still keep me accountable over the weekends, but they'll also give me a couple of days to make up for any badness that happens on Friday or Saturday. I think it's a nice happy medium. I may even go to Wednesdays depending on how this goes. But for right now we're going with Tuesdays. Geez who knew that recording my weight every week could take so much thought. Now if only I'd put that much thought into what I eat for dinner every night. :)

Gluttony

Right after the entry about how I'm going to make it to goal and I'm all pumped, what do I do? Well last night I drank way too much, so today of course I feel like shit, which means I don't work out and I eat french fries, a huge bowl of pasta, and ice cream all in one day. What the hell? I'm completely sabotaging myself. So of course I'm full of self loathing right now. DAMN IT!

Thank you all for your sweet comments though; I love knowing I have people out there who have faith that I can do this. So I'm moving on from this crappy day, going to bed early, getting a good night's sleep and going to the gym in the morning. More later.

Making Goal

Down two this week to 186 so things are moving along I guess. I'm still not really making good decisions on the weekends and its really killing me. I'm not going completely overboard on any one day, but I'm edging up my calories on Friday Saturday and Sunday and that is three days out of the week where I'm not sticking to plan, so that doesn't really work. And of course, on days like today, I let my bad behavior creep into Mondays too. This is not going to work for me.
........................

This weekend I went to try on wedding dresses and actually, it wasn't quite as depressing as I thought it was going to be. I was SO nervous before we got to the first place, I swear I thought I was going to throw up. I had my traditional salad for breakfast and that's it, so I guess I was feeling as skinny as I possibly could feel. But that wasn't really all that skinny.

Once we got going though, I just felt so pretty. And bridal. I guess it sounds cheesey, but it was nice. Sure the dresses wouldn't even come close to zipping or buttoning. And sure my stomach muscles were killing me from sucking in like mad. I know I want to lose weight, and tone my arms and back, but it'll be okay anyway. I am who I am and I think I'll feel pretty no matter what.

BUT that doesn't mean I'm going to settle. I'm sick of effing up every weekend and I'm sick of seeing the same numbers on the scale week in and week out. I've been back on this plan nine weeks and I've lost 9 lbs. That's one pound a week if you average it out. Not great, but I have approximately 33 weeks until the wedding. If I lose one pound a week for the next 33 weeks, then I'll be down to 153. That's not quite goal, so I may have to step it up a little bit to get there.

Seeing those numbers really makes me think. About what is actually do-able in this time frame. I think I can do it. I actually think I can make goal by my wedding. I'm going to give it all I can to do it.