Off to the races

Well it looks like all the goodbye brunches and lunches and dinners caught up with me this week - I gained a pound. I'm okay with it, I definitely deserve it. And in the grand scheme of things, I enjoyed myself, got to drink one last glass of wine with some amazing friends I've met here in Singapore, and I don't regret it at all. 

Things have been crazy the past couple of days. Since we'll be in Japan for nine days before we head back to the States, we're trying to figure out what gets packed away, what comes to Japan, etc. It's a process and I am a terrible packer, so I hate it. When we were packing to move to Singapore my sister basically came over and took control because I was pretty much a blithering idiot. Same situation here, but unfortunately no sister to help. One thing I'm nervous about is our lack of warm clothing for Japan. We both have jeans and a couple of sweatshirts, long sleeves, so we should be fine, but we didn't bring any coats or anything like that. Hopefully it'll just stay cool, but not freezing. I hear when we get back to Denver it's going to be a totally different story though. Luckily all are warm clothes are snug inside our little house there. 

Today is our last day in Singapore. I'm about to go hit the gym for a good workout, then spend the afternoon finishing packing and trying to get the boy to get his shit together. Tonight we'll go have one last local meal, beers with friends, and then tomorrow we're off to Japan. I'm looking forward to lots of sushi, Harajuku girls and hopefully purchasing some cool electronics. I probably won't post until I get back to the States, so happy holidays to everyone. Enjoy the season and don't forget to take care of YOU! 

Food, Singapore Style

Food porn alert. I had the most fabulous brunch this weekend. Total food and booze coma overload. It was insane. I am not guilty, as this was a very very special occasion and I will probably never have the opportunity to do it again. 

We're coming up on our last days here in Singapore, so to celebrate Christmas/say goodbye to some of our good friends, we went out for one of Singapore's infamous Sunday brunches yesterday. These things are insane. All over Singapore fancy hotels and even just normal restaurants host extravagant brunches with free-flowing champagne and gobs of food. We've been wanting to go to one since we've gotten here, but the occasion just never presented itself. We like to go out for weekend breakfasts, but usually not for anything this fancy. 

Anyway, on to the meal. I got up and tried to hit the gym before we went, but of course I didn't leave myself very much time and when I got there both treadmills were occupied. I ended up doing some weights and some elliptical, but I didn't get to burn the calories I was hoping for with a good sweaty run. Did get that in today though so it's all good. 

I was hungry by the time we arrived, but not starving, which was good. Once I saw all the food though, I knew I was in trouble. So much to choose from means I want a bite of everything, which means I end up rolling myself home. I started with some yummy sushi and a heap of vegetables so I could feel like I started my day off right with protein and veggies. Here's a shot of the sushi table.

After my sushi/veggie plate I hit the egg station to get a vegetarian eggs benedict. This ended up being the only part of the meal I was really disappointed with - my egg was pretty much hard-boiled instead of soft and runny like it should be with eggs benny, so I didn't end up eating very much of that. 

Finally, I was off to hit the desserts, which I could hardly hold myself back from. I only got this shot of the chocolates but I must tell you, there was so much much more. A chocolate fountain. About ten kinds of cake. Berries flambe. Five different kinds of ice cream. I was in paradise. Sugar addiction, I thought I'd gotten rid of you. Yeah, not so much. 

All in all, I think I did okay. I took mainly tiny pieces of all the food I ate and I definitely ate more than I normally do, but not to the point of illness. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for my husband. Poor boy was not a happy camper after our meal and promptly fell asleep on the couch as soon as we got home. I was able to rouse him later in the afternoon, so it was all good.

We ended up going down to Merlion Park to see the big Merlion (Singapore's national animal? or mascot?). Something. Anyway Singapore is the Lion City of course, but the mere part of it represents its origins as a simple fishing village. It was a fun touristy thing to do and I'm glad we did it before we leave. 

Tonight we have to go out to dinner with the boy's boss, and I'm sort of nervous about it because we're going to a famous local place that serves lots of crazy local specialties like chili crab. We've never been because they serve shark's fin soup, and I make it a rule not to go to places that serve it, but this dinner is sort of out of the boy's hands and I pretty much have to go, so we'll see how it goes. I assume I'll end up with some sort of shrimp dish. 

Only four more days left in Singapore. I can't believe it! 

ETA: On the mouse front  - All of the mice were caught, and humanely, and the hole has been filled! I will hopefully come home to a mouse-free house later this month. 

Eek! A Mouse!

So, apparently mice have invaded my home. In Denver, that home. I guess it is cold now, mice want somewhere warm to go, and since my doggie is no longer living there, they decided my house would be a good place to go. This is stressing me out, even from thousands of miles away.

My girlfriend, who is living there while we are gone, is of course not happy. She has caught three of them in a humane trap (oh how I love the Internet) and set them free at a park a couple of miles away, but one looked like a baby and she thinks there might be more. Yuck. I'm sure they are cute little guys and I certainly don't want to poison them, but I hate the idea of little mice running around my beautiful little house. And I hate that I'm so far away there is virtually nothing I can do. Ugh. 

In other news, let's see. Things are fine here, if boring. It is amazing how I occupy my time, even without a job. That said, the only person I've actually spoken to all day is the girl behind the counter at Starbucks. Wow, that is sad. I enjoy the alone time though, it gives me a chance to think. I know I'll miss it when we're back home. 

I am working on a slide show of all of our pictures from our travels since we've been in Singapore. We've been to Bintan, Indonesia, Bali, Cambodia, Thailand, and will add Japan to that list before we go home. I'm making it in iDVD, which is a very cool program. Figure it will be a nice gift for our parents, etc. It feels a little narcissistic but I guess that's never been a problem for me given all the blog writing and what not. I've noticed I haven't written in my travel blog as much since I started writing here again. I guess I just can't get the juices flowing for both at the same time. 

Tonight I'm on my own because the boy has going-away drinks with his coworkers, so I'm making myself another omelet with laughing cow and spinach. I'm on an omelet kick right now. I need to keep it healthy and under control while I can, because this weekend is going to be a challenge. 

Tomorrow we're having going away drinks with friends from our building and then out to dinner, which I'm sure will be a calorie minefield. Saturday is the BBQ with the boy's coworkers and their families, who knows what we'll have there. Local food I'm sure.  Then Sunday we're going to a fancy bon voyage brunch with our Thanksgiving buddies. What does this mean? Lots and lots of food. And booze. Hopefully I can offset any damage with some good workouts and actually being mindful about my eating. I'm all about approaching these things with intention right now. :)

Here's a pic of the last spinach omelet I made. Doesn't look that appetizing, I know, but it is. And yes, I realize I suck at the food photography thing. Sorry. 

Weigh In

Weigh in results today: down .6 lbs. Boo. That is not very much. I know I know, moving in the right direction and all of that lovely nonsense, but really? Really? Just .6. After all of that worrying about being tired and wondering if my calories were too low. Hrmph. 

Oh well. Such is life and I will keep going. I guess I can't have stellar results every single week. I can tell you that I am so looking forward to getting back to the States and having some more healthy options in terms of eating out. I know that might sound funny to some of you, given the U.S. is known for all of its frighteningly unhealthy restaurants and fast food joints, where it's no problem to sit down to consume an entire day's worth of calories in one sitting. 

Well yes, we do have all of the crap. But where I'm from in Colorado, we also have lots of healthy, fast casual options. One of my favorite lunch spots is a little build-your-own salad place, and I know for a fact that everything I am getting there is wholesome and nutritious. Not to mention yummy. 

Even Chipotle, which I am missing like crazy, allows me to get a bowl with good beans, veggies, etc. Here it's just not that easy. Salad just isn't very common, and when you do find places that serve Western food, it's often a poor imitation.

Take yesterday for instance. I mentioned I was having lunch with a girlfriend. When I got down to her office building, she suggested three places. One had pizza, one had American style diner food (think greasy french fries and burgers with kangaroo meat, although they'd never tell you that) and one was an Irish place that had sandwiches and salads. Of course there was also a sea of local food, greasy noodles and rice dishes dishes, which I do enjoy from time to time, don't get me wrong, but yesterday wasn't the day. 

Anyway, I chose the Irish place. I figured the best approximation of western food was probably the pizza place, but I thought I might be able to find something a bit healthier on the Irish menu because I spied a salad on an advertisement in the front. 

And there was a salad option. Yes, it was a Caesar, but hey, that's okay. A little Caesar dressing isn't going to kill me. I ordered it with no bacon, add chicken, and hold the croutons. And on the side I ordered a cup of mushroom soup. Sounds good, no? 

It wasn't. It was gross. The chicken was thigh (breast is relatively rare in most places, and I should have known) so it was chewy and just not to my liking. The dressing was okay, so I mostly at the romaine leaves and picked around the chicken. The soup tastes like dirt, literally. Like they picked some dirty mushrooms off the ground, didn't wash them, and stuck them in a blender. I had about 2 bites. Gross. And to top it all off, this meal cost me like 17 Singapore dollars (around 11 US). 

I was not impressed. And the thing is, this happens all the time. It is just really hard to find a cheap, fast, but healthy meal. It's like that old triangle goes. You can have cheap and fast, but not healthy. You can have healthy and fast, but not cheap. Although that's debatable too. Healthy and cheap, but not fast? I doubt it. Anyway, this is why I mostly stick to eating at home for lunches. 

When you move to a new country it does take some adapting, and of course food has been one of the hardest things. There are things I've learned to absolutely love, like dim sum. But for the most part, it makes me realize how set in my ways I am when it comes to food and how lucky I am to have a shining beacon of health and wellness like Whole Foods so close. I honestly think as our move home date approaches, I'm just getting more anxious about things like this and I'm ready to have the comforts of home back, like RIGHT NOW. Not in three weeks or whatever it is. I probably need to just chill and enjoy Singapore's quirky food while I can, because next thing you know I'll be complaining about all the crap in the US. :) I am looking forward to eating lots of yummy healthy sushi when we go to Japan for Christmas though. 

On today's agenda, a LONG workout, laundry, and beginning to sift through all the crap we have accumulated here so I can figure out how we are going to get everything home. Hope everyone is having a nice week. :) 

Weekend wrap up

This weekend was good, we had lots of fun and got in some essential Singapore tourist opps before we leave in a couple of weeks. One was the night safari, which is pretty freaky. I'm not a big zoo person because I tend to get sad about seeing the animals in captivity. I felt the same way during this trip, but it's a bit different because you ride this tram around this open area and all the animals are kind of free to move around. There are natural barriers and what not, but it's still sort of scary to see them up close and personal like that. Let me tell you a rhino is a scary thing. And then there are the hippos. Wow. Apparently hippos kill more people in Africa than any other animal. I did not want to die at the hands (or mouth) of a hippo so I cowered inside the tram like a big baby the whole time. 

At the night safari we were supposed to have dinner, but our schedule ended up getting all messed up and we weren't going to be able to eat until like 9:30, and then it was at a burger joint, so I secretly ate a Think Thin bar. I felt kind of silly sneaking it, but I was hungry and didn't want to scarf down a bunch of crap later just because I had missed dinner. I ended up not really eating anything once we got to the burger place, but only because the bar filled me up and my only options were burgers and of course I don't do red meat. So I ended up picking at a few of the boy's fries, but besides that I was satisfied and happy I had planned in advance. 

Friday and Saturday I did have higher calorie days, mostly because we went out for dinner both nights and I ended up with a few adult beverages and just generally ate a bit more. I was happy with my choices though and think I did a good job. I think I'm really just going to have to play with my calories a bit to see what really works for me and what doesn't. It seems like it's going to be a lot of tinkering. 

Eating out is what really gets me, it always has. It's just so hard to make a good decision when confronted with so many options. I'm extremely nervous about this when we get home, but also over the next couple of weeks. We've got lots of goodbye lunches and dinners and what not scheduled so I'm going to have to be very aware of what I'm doing. In fact, I need to go get ready for a goodbye lunch right now. I am meeting a girlfriend down by the river. I don't know where we're going, but she's American too and we tend to like similar things, so hopefully she'll choose something good. Tomorrow's my weigh-in day, and I'm hoping it goes well. Fingers crossed. 

Zzzzzzz........

I am tired. I am losing weight and I am tired. I know this has happened to me before when I've been losing. I can't remember where or when but I know it's happened. I'm working out a lot. I'm keeping my calories low. Not too low, I'm eating, oh I'm definitely eating, but still. Low. 

And I think that's making me tired. I took the day off from working out yesterday to try and recover a bit, and I do think it helped, but I'm still tired. Part of me thinks this is normal and just part of the process, my body is getting used to a lower amount of calories and its having to work hard to process all that fat that is dropping down the toilet (or that's where I imagine my fat going when I'm losing it, sorry if that's TMI). But part of me, and I think it's the wild child devil on my shoulder part, is saying, "oh, this is a sign. up your calories. have some ice cream. have some pie. dive face first right into that mac and cheese sitting in the cupboard." My wild child doesn't use capitalization. 

I'm not overly hungry. I'm not depriving myself. I'm eating enough. But I just feel worn out. I want to keep this momentum but it's hard to know how to manage this tiredness. Losing weight is just not something your body wants to do. It kicks and screams and wants to hold on to every last drop of fat. It pounds its fists on the floor. 

I think I'm going to trick my body tomorrow and see if that helps. I'm going to have a higher calorie day tomorrow - just ONE day. And it's not going to be all booze either. ;) I'm just going to ramp it up for one day and then go right back to what I'm doing, because I know what I'm doing is working. And if I still feel tired, well then maybe it's something else and I'll have something else to worry and fret over.

In the meantime, I'm just going to go close my eyes for a bit...

Klutz-o-rama

Weigh in day - down 1.8 lbs! Woot! I'm happy, really happy given the extravagance of Saturday night. Looking back, one high calorie day isn't so bad. In fact I think it's a good thing to switch it up now and then. Whatever I'm doing, it's working so it is ALL GOOD. No excuses for another crazy night, but I'm just sayin'. 

Today I am a klutz for some reason. This morning I mixed up some Fage Greek yogurt with some frozen blueberries. It turned into this beautiful shining blue bowl of healthy goodness. And as I sat on the couch, distractedly trying to read the Interwebs and eat at the same time, I dumped it all over floor. Blue goo all over the carpet. Yes the housekeeping staff of this lovely service apartment does not love me. I ended up with some hard-boiled eggs. Can't make too much of a mess with those. 

Workout was awesome today. I didn't feel like going, but I went and did a weight circuit, arms, legs, the whole bit, with two minute jogs here and there thrown in to keep the heart rate up. I also downloaded this podcast and added it on the end of my workout. Jillian Michaels I'm obsessed with you. You are a goddess. Major girl crush on Jillian. Don't tell my husband. Luckily when I almost fell on my face during the plank pose there wasn't anyone else in the gym. 

This afternoon, same thing happened as this morning, only this time with my celery and peanut butter snack. I just cannot keep my food on the plate. Or in my mouth. Maybe I should stop trying to multi-task and just focus on eating my food when I'm eating my food. Duh. 

Tonight I'm making a Mexican fiesta. Boy will have burrito(s) and I will have a taco salad. No shell of course. Delish. Let's hope I can get through dinner without ruining the rug. 

Boredom

Boring. I feel like I have been eating the same foods over and over and I am getting bored. 

Isn't this the classic weight loss issue? You find something that works, something you maybe even like, and you eat it. A lot. You overdo it. Then you get sick of it or you get bored with it and you go off of your plan because you want something different and then you run into trouble. 

This is how it always happens with me. And usually, when I'm in my weight loss mode, I overcompensate for this boredom by spending entirely too much time online, scouring the web for recipes. That way I can find new favorites and go-to's. 

It hasn't been so easy to do this in Singapore. Why? Because we live in a tiny service apartment. It's furnished, with dishes and pots and pans, but in a very sparse way. I have four plates. Four bowls. Four forks, knives, spoons. One big pot. One small pot. One big frying pan. I have a stove top with four burners. I have a refrigerator the size of a greeting card. And I have a microwave. 

I don't have an oven. I didn't have a cheese grater until I specially requested one. My knives are pathetically un-sharp. I don't have a blender or a food processor. I definitely don't have a dishwasher. Not to mention the fact that finding my preferred ingredients, not always so easy. 

It really hasn't been that bad. I've been making lots of soups and chili and salads. I can scramble and sauté with the best of 'em. I can microwave the hell out of anything you can throw at me. 

I've been managing, but I'm definitely ready to get back to my kitchen. I want options. I want to make baked sweet potato fries. I want to have a smoothie for breakfast. I want to pulverize some veggies and make fresh salsa. I want to dive headfirst into Cooking Light and see what I can come up with. 

For now, I'll stick to my tuna salads for lunch. My veggie chili for dinner. All of my healthy basics. And yeah, I'm probably going to have to go get my fill of some very unhealthy Singaporean food that I won't be able to have for a long time. I'm going to keep it in check though and hopefully, leave this country quite a bit lighter than I was when I entered it. 

New day

Okay so I'm over it. Over beating myself up. Moving on. It's a new day, new month, new everything. Done-zo. 

Yesterday I lazed on the couch all day and watched a ton of episodes of Lipstick Jungle online. We hardly get any current TV shows over here, they're all last seasons reruns, but I choose to watch this show online? I will never understand myself. Somehow I'm hooked on it though. I don't know. 

This morning I got up and had breakfast with a friend, just eggs and a piece of wheat toast. I then went straight to the gym and did a weight circuit followed by 30 minutes on the elliptical. I'm still not feeling great physically, probably because I slept like crap again last night, so I may take a nap this afternoon and see if that helps. I can't believe I'm so old that I have two day hangovers. That is just sad. 

Our Thanksgiving hosts did send us home with some turkey, stuffing, and about half of a pie, but thank goodness today none of it even sounds good. I may have some of the turkey in a salad for dinner but we'll see. No pie though. I need to go the store and get food for the week but I'm just not motivated at all. Waaaahhh waaahhhh wahhhh. Wow I'm a serious Debbie downer today. Maybe I'm not over it after all. These things take time I guess. 

I can't believe it, but we are actually leaving Singapore in 19 days. The time has gone by so fast. We are leaving on the 19th and spending Christmas in Japan, then we head back to the States on the 28th. Have I mentioned that here? I can't remember. While I'm super excited to get back to my family and friends, I just can't believe I'm leaving here already. I have to make the most of my time here. And I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to get all my crap back into the two suitcases I brought over here. Not gonna stress about it now though. Now it's naptime. 

Gross

I'm hungover and feeling guilty. I ate too much yesterday. It feels shitty. It's amazing how one day of overeating and drinking can change your whole outlook. I was feeling so great. But now the guilt it setting in. So instead of dwelling on it, I'm just going to get it off my chest here and try to go back to being successful. 

The good news is, we had a great time yesterday celebrating our American Thanksgiving in Singapore. I started off the day well with a great hour-long treadmill workout and burned about 600 calories. Then we went to some friends apartment and had almost all of the traditional dishes. Turkey, stuffing, an asparagus casserole (which was new to me but quite delicious). I brought a salad so I would be sure to have at least one healthy dish. I did great to start, took only a little bit of each item, didn't overeat, but I allowed myself a treat piece of pie. 

So far so good right? Well that's when the drinking started. Wine with dinner. Then vodka. And more vodka. We ended up going out to karaoke. It was hilarious and really fun. But we were out until almost 1:30, and having eaten at around 5, I was starving again. Couple that with a McDisgusto around the corner from my apartment and you have a recipe for disaster. 

Let me preface this my saying I never eat McD's. I am morally against it. I think the food is gross. But sometimes my head just doesn't work properly. It's like I was on auto-pilot last night. Last night I succumbed to my french fry craving and also had a Big Mac with no meat. Talk about carbs. I probably spiked the hell out of my blood sugar and then promptly went to bed. Yuck. 

So yeah, it feels shitty. I tracked all my calories in Spark People and it is not pretty. About 2500 for the day and who knows if I remembered everything. I am really glad I got that workout in. I'm glad we had a nice celebration with friends and had a good night out. I'm trying not to feel guilty. I don't want to let this throw me off track. So even though I'm feeling yucky and craving sugar today, I stuck to a turkey sandwich with lots of veggies for lunch. I am trying to chug water even though I don't want to. I'm going to make a healthy dinner. 

I'm also trying to think about why I did this. I was on such a roll. I am on such a roll. I don't think I was sad and missing my family and trying to soothe myself with food. I think I was just drunk and falling back into old, bad habits. I gave myself permission to indulge a little yesterday, but I took advantage of that permission. I took advantage of myself. So next time I give myself permission to indulge, I'm just going to have to be that much more aware. This clearly is one battle that I'm never going to stop fighting. 

I wasn't worried about Thanksgiving, I had planned to kick Thanksgiving's ass. And honestly I think I did kick it's ass for the most part. It was just the night out drinking that got me. I'm going to learn from this though. I'm going to remember this feeling and I'm going to move on.

Turkey Day Freakout

Okay dudes. I'm getting the sense that people in the U.S. are starting to freak out about Thanksgiving. And honestly, that is one stress I'm kind of glad I don't have right now. Every year I look forward to the holidays with a mixture of anticipation and dread, but I just don't seem to have that this year. 

I am sad I'm missing out on a traditional Thanksgiving in the U.S. I'm sad I don't get to spend time with my grandparents, who I know don't have tons of holidays left. I'm sad I won't get to roll my eyes in secret at my crazy aunt. I'm sad I won't get to eat my grandma's homemade rolls. I'm sad I won't get to hear the inappropriate comments that some older relatives are bound to make. I'm sad I won't get to get crazy playing board games and drinking too much wine. 

So yeah, I'm definitely bummed that I'm missing out on all the good family time, and I'm sure it'll be even worse when Christmas rolls around. But I'm focusing on the positive things about being overseas this year, and one of the positive things is definitely a lack of stress and specifically a lack of stress about food. 

The holidays are usually just a minefield for me. Every year, Every. Single. Year. I gain weight. I come up with strategies on what to do when faced with hard decisions or food pushers or this and that but it never fails. I gain weight.

This year though, I'm not even worried about it. I just don't have those pressures. I don't have an office filled with holiday goodies. I don't have parties and leftovers and family members that lead me to binge drink. I don't have those routines, those rituals that I have gone through every year that have led me to gain. They just aren't there. 

Instead, I have different things. Different rituals to take part in. People in Singapore will barely notice it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, but the boy and I will go out to dinner and give thanks together. It won't be anything crazy though. It'll just be another nice dinner and I'll make a good choice because that's where my head is right now. 

And then on Saturday afternoon, we've been invited to an American expat's house for a makeshift Thanksgiving celebration, but I'm not really worried about that either. I'm bringing a big salad and I'm sure I'll eat some turkey, but I'm going to keep it under control. I'm going to remember all of those little tips and tricks I go armed with every year and I'm actually going to use some of them this time. This year, Thanksgiving will not kick my ass. I will kick it's ass! 

By the way, I weighed in today and I maintained. I'm pretty bummed about it because I feel like I've been on such a roll this week. I worked out six days and I ate great except for a little splurge on Saturday night, but it wasn't out of control. Last week was a big loss of 3.2 lbs, so maybe my body just wasn't ready to let go of any more weight this week. It sucks, but all I can do is keep trying. Meh.

Food Photo Experiment

Picture time! But first, I gotta say, you bloggers who take pics of your food every day and then post, I so admire you. This was hard! Hard to remember, hard to take good photos, and kind of scary because of the judgement factor. I'm not sure if this is something I could do every day, but I think here and there it can definitely be a good thing. It was actually kind of fun. 

So without further ado, on to the food. I woke up a little late this morning after a very fitful night's sleep. I don't know what it was but I was tossing and turning all night. It sucked. Maybe because I worked out later in the day than I normally do? I don't know. Anyway, I got up and wanted a little comfort so I made some steel-cut oats. I added a little canned pumpkin, cinnamon and walnuts to make it feel like fall, even though I'm boiling in the tropics. (I know poor little me right?)

 

After breakfast I went to the gym and did cardio. Today I did 20 minutes of intervals, alternating between sprinting and walking. Then I did a steady jog for 8 minutes. For the last half hour I did my walking routine, increasing the incline every 30 seconds. It was tough! I was sweating my ass off. I sweat so much here. I think it's the humidity. Even though I'm indoors, the sweat just pours off of me. What a delightful picture. 

Lunch was last night's leftover chicken salad. Supposed to be on a bed of lettuce, but since I wasn't able to get lettuce yesterday I had to improvise on vegetables, thus the red pepper strips. It actually ended up pairing quite nicely. I ended up filling up so I didn't eat the bonbel, even though it's on the plate. The chicken salad is just shredded chicken, mayo, celery, walnuts and green grapes. Yum! 

So this is where the whole picture-taking thing went downhill. I went for a coffee with a friend (got a nonfat cappuccino) and totally spaced the photo. Then I spent an hour making chili, but I sat and consumed it before I got a photo taken. I did take one of the leftovers going into the tupperware, but it certainly isn't very pretty. 

This meal was topped with some cheddar cheese and a little light sour cream. Oh and of course some Cholula. Thank goodness we get Cholula in Singapore. I'm obsessed. After dinner I had some sugar free chocolate pudding with cool whip on top, but of course I forgot to photograph that too. Clearly I suck at this. Maybe with practice I can get better. 

So that's it. That's my day. I entered all my food into SparkPeople and I consumed about 1400 calories. Right on target. If only I could do this every day. I probably should have gotten more vegetables in but I think I did fairly well overall. 

It's time to call it a night here, but most of you are only waking up, so have a great day!  

Monday at the Grocery Store

Mondays. I've actually come to look forward to them a little bit since living in Singapore. I'm sure the ENTIRE reason for that is I don't have to get up and go to a job. Instead I look forward to the boy going back to work and having the place to myself again. Not that I don't love the weekends, don't get me wrong. I just love "me" time.

This morning I went and did a pretty big shop at the market. It doesn't look like a ton of stuff, but when you have to walk a good mile to the grocery and then carry everything back, you tend to get a little more conservative with what you buy. I took a shot so you could see what I ended up with. 

It's funny, I think I shop so differently here, but I guess I end up with pretty much the same types of foods I would be eating if I were back in the U.S. There are definitely things I'm missing, but for the most part it's the same. Since Singapore is an island and it doesn't have it's own farming system or really much food production at all, pretty much the entire food supply, even the water, is imported. I live in an area where there are a lot of expats, mostly British, Australian and American, so most of the food in the market is imported from those regions. There's another market that really caters to the Japanese expats. Then of course there are the markets where the locals shop, which have lots of local foods and foods from Malaysia and China. 

Today I got the basics for vegetarian chili, lots of peppers, beans, tomatoes and some light sour cream to go on top. I also got chicken, grapes and walnuts for chicken salad, yogurt, berries and bananas for breakfasts this week and a big bar of dark chocolate (you know I couldn't stay away). Oh yeah and of course the Kettle chips, which the boy specially requested today. I won't be eating those. They were out of mixed greens for salad, which I've noticed happens a lot on Mondays. Actually they tend to be out of a lot of things on Mondays. I think it's just a function of people doing their grocery shopping on the weekends. But in Singapore, if something is out of stock, sometimes it can take weeks to get more. There was a period of about 3 weeks that I was without Greek yogurt and I was so happy when they got more in. You'd have thought they got chocolate covered bars of gold or something by my excitement level. 

So today was a good day overall. I did about 45 minutes of weight circuits and 30 minutes on the bike for my workout and I ate really well. I didn't photograph my meals, but that's something I'm still toying with doing. I like seeing what other people are eating so maybe if I do it'll have the same effect? Or maybe it will bore people to tears. I guess we'll see. Perhaps I'll try it tomorrow. 

Chocolate Hangover

I have a headache. Didn't sleep well last night at all. Most likely because I tried so hard to be good at dinner last night and I don't think I ate enough. That combined with drinking a few beers and then a few (or five) dark chocolate squares when I got home just made me feel kind of gross. These are all small things, but lately my body has been running really well on all the healthy food and exercise I've been giving it, so I think any variation from routine causes problems.

The dark chocolate thing is hard. I keep a big bar in the apartment and just have a few squares every now and then. I think it's good in a way, they say nothing can substitute for a chocolate craving and I am buying the good stuff with antioxidants and all that. And it's not like I eat much at one time. But it probably shouldn't be an every day thing and I'm sort of turning that way. So today, no dark chocolate snacks. 

The boy is still sleeping blissfully but when he gets up we'll head to a little French cafe down the street for some breakfast. I love this place because I can get yummy scrambled eggs and a nice cappuccino and he can get his beloved Eggs Benedict. It's a relatively healthy protein packed meal for me and it makes for a nice Sunday morning routine. 

This afternoon I'm going to try to find some new running shoes since I didn't get to that yesterday and mine have been pounded into the ground, then I'm hoping to get in a long cardio workout. Lately I've been doing 20 minute intervals on the treadmill, with one minute running fast and one minute walking recovery. After that 20 is up I'll switch to walking, gradually increasing the incline every 30 seconds until I hit 10, then going back down. I do that until I've done an hour total. It's a great workout that gets my interval training in, but adds that extra calorie burning time as well. 

Oh yeah in regard to that hardcore yoga I mentioned yesterday, okay maybe I was exaggerating a little. :) I have been going to yoga every Friday here though and it is a tough class. We do handstands on the wall and backbends and everything, which is something I had never done in yoga before but I like a lot. I come home feeling like I actually worked my body, which is something I had never really gotten from yoga in the past. Maybe I just wasn't going to the right classes. I hope I can find a class this good when I get back to the U.S. 

Okay time to wake the boy up and get some grub. Ciao! 

South Beach Saturday

I realize I have so much to talk about. But I'm not going to just word vomit all over the screen, I'm going to try to space some things out. 

So let's see. I mentioned yesterday that I got back into actively trying to get some weight off in October. That's when I started doing the South Beach thing. I did the first two weeks, which is hardcore no sugar and pretty low carb, and I ended up taking off about seven lbs. I have to say at least four of that was probably water weight. Once I started adding back some carbs though, my losses slowed pretty dramatically and then I went to Thailand for a week. While I was there I pretty much let myself eat/drink whatever, but I didn't go crazy and binge or anything like that. Anyway, when I got back I had gained a few lbs, but I took them right back off the next week, and now I'm on the downward trend again.

In total though, since I started doing South Beach, I've lost about 11 pounds. I'm definitely happy with that. I hate hate hate this, but I know that limiting carbs is important for me if I'm going to lose weight. I'm clearly sensitive to them, and it does help when I reduce them. I wouldn't say I'm following South Beach to the letter of the law right now, I'm more just limiting sugar and sticking to a lower carb diet. I emphasize lower because it's still not all that low, given I'm eating tons of veggies and tons of beans still. I am just not a big meat person, never have been. I still don't eat red meat or pork at all. I used to eat turkey quite a bit, but turkey is just not common in Singapore. The only place I've found it is at Subway. Now I'm eating a lot of chicken, tuna, salmon, etc. Oh and peanut butter. My god I practically support the entire peanut industry all by myself. 

The other thing I've dramatically reduced is my alcohol intake. One reason for this is that alcohol is ridiculously expensive in Singapore. A six pack of beer, local Tiger beer that is brewed here, costs around $18 Singapore dollars. That is about $12 US. Seems kind of ridiculous when I know I can buy a sixer of Bud Light for $5.99. And you don't even want to know what it costs to get alcohol in restaurants. 

The other thing that's reduced my alcohol intake is my social life. In Denver we have a huge social circle and a big part of daily life is drinking. Not binge drinking or anything, but happy hour after work, apres ski beers, wine and cheese with the girls, that sort of thing. And don't get me wrong, I love that part of my social life and I'm excited to get back to it, but it isn't always conducive to weight loss. So being in Singapore, without a big group of friends to socialize with on the weekends means we just aren't drinking as much. We have met a few good friends here and we do still have drinks with them from time to time, it just isn't as often as I'd be doing it in the U.S. It's one thing I'm nervous about going back and facing honestly. But for now, as Martha would say, it's a good thing. 

So yeah, clearly lower carbs and lower alcohol intake helps with weight loss. No shit Sherlock right? I am a genius. Maybe I should write a book on this. 

Today is hard, as are all Saturdays. I think weekends in general are just rough on me. We eat out more often, and I often get frustrated with my options here. I miss having fast casual options where I know I can just pick up an easy salad. You'd be amazed at how hard it is to find salad here. Sometimes we go to the Hard Rock Cafe just to get semi-decent salads. Sad. 

Tonight we're going to a fun Euro-American brewery place that has an outdoor grill. They have a ton of different skewer options, so I'll probably go with shrimp and get some veggies on the side. I'll also probably have some beer or a glass of wine, but nothing too crazy. I took the day off of working out because I worked out every day this week and I'm extremely sore from a hardcore yoga class yesterday (more on that soon) but I'll be back in my little apartment gym tomorrow.  Hope everyone has a great weekend. 

Pokes Head Up

Hello? Is anybody out there? I'm thinking some of you may have me in your feed readers still so if you do, hi! I'm back. Honestly I never really left, not totally. I've been reading tons of blogs the whole time I've been in Singapore. And I've been writing in a travel blog. And kind of wishing I was writing in this one.

So now I'm back.

In a way I regret taking a hiatus from fatblogland. There are so many new awesome blogs out there and so many relationships that I have let fall by the wayside. And I'm sorry for that. But I do know that it was the right decision for me to take a step back from writing about weight loss, specifically my weight loss (or lack thereof at times). When the boy and I moved to Singapore at the beginning of July I thought maybe it would be best to try to put some of my issues and obsessions with my weight aside for a while, and I thought stopping writing here might help that a bit.

And you know what, Singapore has been good for me in that regard in a way. When we first got here I didn't want to worry about food. I didn't want to worry about carb counts and calorie counts and fat and all of that crap. I just wanted to try new things. Living here, and going to Indonesia and Cambodia and Thailand, I've gotten to try tons of new food. Chicken rice and banana cakes and black sesame ice cream and greasy fried noodles and durian and dragonfruit and the list goes on and on. Some of it I loved, some of it I hated. Some of it was good for me, some of it was terrible for me.

I did gain a couple of pounds when we got to Singapore, and I was probably wavering back and forth in about a five pound range for the first four months. It depended on whether or not we were traveling (traveling always means lots of booze and eating out and you know how that can be).

Sometime in October though, I realized that just because I was halfway around the world didn't mean I could use that as an excuse to gain weight. Or more importantly, to not lose the weight. I've been hovering with being 25-50 lbs overweight for my entire adult life. There have been times when I've been gung-ho about getting it all off. There have been times when I'm resigned to just being "a big girl." There have been times when I'm eating or drinking without any restraint because I just don't give a fuck anymore. There have been times when I say "I'm going to lose it this time" but then I continue to maintain or just half-ass it.

The past couple of years I've fallen into a really bad pattern of losing weight at the beginning of the year - 10, 15, even 20 lbs. The for some reason the fall comes and I slowly gain. Gain all or most of it back during the holidays, and then I start over again the next year. In the fall of 2006, the year I got married, I was at the lowest weight I'd been at in a long time. But I gained back almost 25 lbs over the next year. Wow that is crazy to write it out here. But it's true.

At the beginning of 2008 I set out to lose that weight, again. And as of July, when we moved to Singapore, I was down about 15 lbs. Then I gained the five or so I just mentioned. Which brings us to October, at which point I started with a fresh resolve. Part of it was the thought of coming back to the U.S. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have daydreams about losing all the weight while I'm out here and coming home and shocking everyone with my new hot bod. And while I know that's not really realistic, I do know that I have an amazing opportunity. This year I won't be with my family for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I won't have the food pushers and the pressures and the environmental factors that have caused me to gain weight every single holiday season I can remember.

Instead, I have myself. I have the boy, and I have about a month left in Singapore and then I have ten days in Japan, where I'll celebrate Christmas and my 29th birthday (on December 27). I know I can choose how to spend this time. And I choose to spend it losing weight, not gaining weight. I will not deprive myself from the sensory experiences here that I may not get for the rest of my life. But I will not let them take over my other needs either.

So what does that mean for me? That means I want to be conscious about my weight loss, and I want to participate. I want to take my blog back. I want to build relationships with other bloggers and tell the people I've let down I'm sorry. I want to steal some of the awesome ideas I've seen on a few blogs, like photographing my food more often and posting recipes. I want to talk about all of the things I'm loving right now and how living as an overweight person in Asia has changed my perspective a bit.

So I'm back. I'm going to be working on updating the links to the right and adding all of the new bloggers I've been reading. I'm going to be stopping by to say hi more often. And I'm going to be writing about my weight loss, my workouts, what I'm eating. And probably some non-weight loss things too. I'm going to go back to doing a weekly weigh-in on Wednesdays. I feel good today, I feel positive. Things aren't always going to be sunshine and lollipops I know. But I'm going to write about the good times and the bad times. I think getting started was the hardest part.

Checking In

Hi guys. Just want to let you know I'm going on hiatus for a while. Things are good - the boy and I are here in Singapore, and of course I'm not falling off the wagon, just focusing on other priorities. I do have a travel blog and I'd love for you all to read it, but right now I know I can't give this blog the time and love it deserves. Please know that I'm still out there reading you all and cheering for you, and I'll be by to comment for sure, but I'm just not going to post much here for a bit. If you'd like to read the travel blog I'd love to have you. Please just email me at myfutureme at gmail dawt com.

XOXO

Packing packing packing. That's all I'm supposed to be doing, but I never seem to do it. Today is the day though - I am going to do a practice pack and then leave everything I don't need for the next five days in the suitcase - it is not coming back out! I have had lots of helpers come over the past week or so - my mom, my sister, friends, etc. but I still cannot seem to get it together. I don't know if it's fear or procrastination or what. I'm actually getting really really excited to go, so you'd think I'd want to get the packing situation handled. It's the boring parts that get me - cleaning out the linen closet so our renter can have room for her stuff - BORING. But I will do it.

In other news, I lost .2 this week, which is kind of a miracle based on what I've been eating and the lack of exercise. Over the weekend we went to a wedding, then we had a bon voyage BBQ, and then last night our best friends took us out to the Melting Pot, a fantastic fondue restaurant, as kind of a last hurrah for the four of us. So yeah, needless to say, copious amounts of food and alcohol have been consumed.

What I'm getting really nervous about is not having a scale to monitor my progress on when I'm gone. Perhaps I'll buy one when I get out there, but I don't plan on taking one. I've been a daily weigher for quite some time now, and it's always been a good way for me to monitor my progress. Yes, sometimes it can get borderline obsessive, but for me that's never been really a negative thing. Instead it keeps me from backsliding. If I don't look at the scale, I'm usually avoiding it for a reason.

So as of Monday morning, I won't have a scale and doubly scary, I'll head off into the great unknown when it comes to food. No clue what I'll be eating on a regular basis when I get to Singapore, but I hope I can continue on this downward trend when I get there. As of today I've lost 14.6 lbs this year, which isn't stellar considering the gain from last year, but it is working for me!

The boy and I have created a new blog, so I'll be posting that here soon. I decided to just give you ladies the link, and if you're interested you can come on by. It's not quite ready yet, but I can guarantee that we'll be posting more often than I do here (I'm a slacker) and that we'll have some interesting posts about our travels to Asia. I'll still be here too, so I hope you'll visit. Be back before I leave, I promise!

Breathe In. Breathe Out.

Phew. Deep breaths. Okay thank you all for talking me off the ledge. I am making lists and I'm getting through things. Yesterday after my post I decided to just screw it all and go to kickboxing instead, and I'm so glad I did. It was such a good way to get all of that stress out. After that I came home, made some lists, got some boxes, and then pretty much did nothing the better part of the day.

I think I just needed to relax a little. This morning I'm in getting things done mode and I'm happy to say I'm making some progress. For now at least. ;)

One thing that helps is that my mom is going to come over this afternoon. She's always good at getting me organized. I guess I still need that parental help once in a while. Even if I am 28.

So no workout today, but I'll be busy moving my body, so at least there's that. Food is still pretty good, but I have to confess I bought some Sweet and Spicy Doritos for the boy and they are damn good. And I kind of want to eat some. I think I will. But I'll make it work with my calories and we'll be fine.

Thanks again to everyone for being so sweet. I love you guys. And I'm sorry if I'm not around much in the next couple of weeks, but I'll be back, I promise. :)

What is it

I suck suck suck right now at being a blogger. I'm stressed and I want to cry almost every day. I should be happy right now. There is just too much. It is too much for me right now and I want to let it all go to hell. I don't know how to organize myself for this move. I don't know how many effing pairs of pants to bring. I am letting these things overwhelm me.

HOW MANY PAIRS OF PANTS SHOULD I BRING????

Okay I just needed to yell that. Sorry.

I am scared. We don't even have a place to live yet. We leave in a week and a half. A week and a half. A week and a half.

It's only six months. I just need to chill out. For real.

A week and a half, and before that, I have to - go to a friend's wedding this Saturday. Be the guest of honor at a BBQ (at my house!) on Sunday. Be in a friend's wedding (including pre-parties, rehearsal dinners, etc.) next Saturday. Miss another friend's wedding next Saturday. Not tell that friend I don't think she should marry him.

Not to mention pack, get my shit in order so that someone can move into this little, messy house we won't be calling home anymore, and do things. So many things. Turn off my cell phone. Sell the car. Sweep the floors. Mow the lawn. Call my dad.

Weigh in today - gained .8. As long as I can stop myself from stuffing my face in stress I think I'll be fine.