Friday, January 20, 2006


So I'm back and I'm feeling better. Unfortunately I had to deal with two more work lunches this week, but I did the best I could do. Today's lunch was tomato soup and a salad. Went to workout this afternoon, even though its Friday, and I just had a nice turkey sub for dinner. Nothing fancy, but its healthy and its much better than a typical Friday night dinner.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm going to catch up on my sleep and work out and watch the Bronco game and just enjoy my time off. It's only two days but dammit I love the weekend.

But here's the problem. I want to go out with my friends. But I don't feel like I can do that when I'm dieting. (I know, it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. But still.) For instance, I chose to stay home tonight rather than go get pizza with friends. I know it was the best decision for me, the best way to avoid cheesey pizza and too much wine, but it's hard for me to think of a life like this all of the time. I'm okay with being selfish in order to become the person I want to be, but I'm scared of the things I'm going to have to give up.

I think I know I need to make these changes and they'll all be for the better, but then I think about it, and I don't want to become THAT girl. That girl who's no fun because she never wants to go get pizza and beers and she never wants to do anything fun. I guess I know logically that my friends will like me whether I eat pizza or not. It's just a random conflict that I always have. Every day. And I have to live with it. For now I'm okay with it, but will I be tomorrow? I don't know. But I do know if I take it one day at a time I can do this.


k said...

It's great that you're able to pick out & avoid those "trigger social situations" such as going out for pizza with friends.

But, you won't have to avoid those situations forever. Once you feel in-control of your eating, you may be able to go out with friends and instead of having 3 slices of pizza, you can choose to have 1 slice AND a salad. That way, you're not depriving yourself of pizza OR friends. It's all about chosing the BEST choice every time you have a choice to make. :)

bloomingbeing said...

I just came across your blog, and I just wanted to say i know exactly what you mean! A big part of life around my town is food. We go out for lunch, we go out at night- we eat. A lot. And for some reason no one else gains as much. So for now i still go out, but i get salads. And low fat sandwiches, and don't eat the bread. Just the good stuff. And once in a while, ill pity myself and have a low carb bagel. Just make the right choices, and know that in the end, you're winning on both fronts :)