Middle School

Or sometimes it is referred to as Junior High. For those of you in the UK, Australia, and elsewhere, I have no idea. Maybe primary school? I'm sorry I don't know. I should.

The point is, I went back to middle school tonight. Grade seven, 13 years old and on the school basketball team, where I was of course the chubbiest girl on the team. I tried my best, I really did. But I always had a hard time with practice. I was never very coordinated and I just wasn't in the best of shape. I remember doing suicides and going home and just sitting in my room staring at the ceiling wondering if I would ever be good at anything. My god that is such a hard age. I'm glad its over.

Anyway, tonight, the trainer made me do suicides. First, we did sprints up and down the basketball court. Then to the suicides. For those of you who don't know what they are, let me just tell you they are named appropriately. There are a number of lines on a basketball court, the foul lines, other random blue lines, the middle line, etc... In order to run a suicide, you start at the edge of the court, run to the first line, touch the ground, run back to the starting point, touch the ground, run to the next furthest line, touch the ground, and back and forth and back and forth all the way down the court. It is pure hell. I have zero lung capacity and I was dying tonight. And that was only the first 20 minutes.

All I could think about was how hard it was and how it should be easier and I should be in better shape and damn it! It makes me so mad. But I know I just have to keep working at it and I'll get better and I won't get those feelings of insecurity anymore.

So the workout was hard, but I feel good for having done it. The trainer wants me to eat some protein, fat and carbs within 30 minutes after any resistance training, so I rushed home and made a smoothie with frozen fruit, plain nonfat yogurt, nonfat milk, and a scoop of protein powder. It was good, and I feel good. Now to tackle the weekend.